


Where Do Monsters Go When They Die?

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Lizzy-verse [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Hunters & Hunting, Purgatory, Romance, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-12 00:08:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 80,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How the hell are we going to stay together as a family, protect a prophet, and keep our son safe from everything?" Lizzy has to wonder as she looks for answers from her husband.<br/>Dean takes one very deep breath, pausing to think. He's got nothing.  "Beats the hell right outta me." </p><p>Add in killing Dick Roman and everything starts to look pretty damn impossible....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Getaway

**Author's Note:**

> This is the 21st story in my series. It picks up directly where 'The Ballad of Hot Shot and L' ended.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Supernatural world. I am just playing in their sandbox.

* * *

"Seriously?" Lou asks with a little anger as she drives too fast down the back roads on their way to Rufus' cabin. She looks to Sam quickly and he peers back blankly with her out-of-nowhere comment. "Are we _that_ scary? The two of us?"

"What do you mean?" Sam wonders, not on her train of thought after having been silent for a good twenty minutes, reading through articles on his phone as Lou drove.

After Castiel woke up, they found out that the kid that showed up to steal the tablet was a prophet, and the other angels angrily hunted them down all too quickly, the entire group needed to flee for good. They packed what they could from the house Lou and Lizzy had rented while Lizzy was pretending to be a nurse and ditched, knowing the angels or demons would find them after their cover at the institution was blown. Or the institution itself would find them once Castiel disappeared and Lizzy never returned to work. Either way, it was time to move on.

"The kid couldn't have jumped into Dean's shit box faster," Lou explains, clearly offended as she drives her own stolen car of the week.

"Who? Kevin?" Sam asks her, trying to get on her same page.

"Yeah, Kevin. He was horrified at the idea of being in a car with us. I mean, it's not like we were gonna kill him or anything."

"How would he know that?" Sam half-laughs at this. "He knows nothing about us."

"He knows nothing about _them_ either," Lou points out.

Sam shifts a little in his seat, turning to her for a second with a small smirk as he prepares to spell it out for her. "If you were a confused high school kid that just five minutes before found out there was a supernatural side to life, who would you rather go with? The six and a half foot guy that chased you down with the five foot woman that clotheslined him? Or the family of three, one being a harmless infant and another being zoned out completely to the point of being useless because of some blood sigil?"

Lou grits her teeth for a second.

"Obvious choice, right?" Sam smirks.

"Yeah, I get it," she grumbles back.

Sam huffs a solid laugh. "Were you really all that offended?"

"No… maybe," Lou shakes her head. "I don't know. I just don't like being known as some bully."

He stares at her for a beat. "Lou, you _are_ a bully," Sam spills to her. She snaps a dirty, intimidating look at him. "And that face right there isn't helping your cause. That alone would make me steer clear of you."

"Jackass."

"Bully."

"Hey, speaking of zoned out Lizzy, what the fuck was that about?" Lou finally asks about what she saw happen to her sister. "I mean, I assume this wasn't the first time it's happened since Dean never freaked the fuck out about it…."

"We've been there once or twice before," Sam nods.

"But it still freaked me out. Lizard went bye-bye."

"It's her angel DNA… if DNA is what angels actually have," Sam tells her. "It makes her react to the sigil like that."

"To the sigil Dean drew in his own blood, you mean?" Lou asks.

"Yeah. It's like a weapon. You draw it in blood on a wall or just a surface of some kind. When you slap a hand down on it all angels are blown out of the area for a while."

"Helpful trick," Lou recognizes.

"It has been so far," Sam agrees with her. "But since Lizzy has a good amount of angel lineage in her it, like, half works on her. She physically stays since she's a human while _she_ leaves… her mind or whatever just flies off."

"So… her soul leaves her body?"

"Don't think so. I've had my soul disappear. I was still functioning. I was an asshole but I was functioning."

"It's just her mind then?"

"Something like that."

"Where does it go?" Lou wonders aloud.

Sam wrinkles his forehead, looking out the windshield as he really thinks about it. "Huh. You know, we have no idea."

"Oh, yeah. This seems safe," Lou rolls her eyes. "At least Sammy seemed ok."

"It didn't affect him?" Sam wants to know, curious now.

"Not too much. He was quiet, calm… but he was still present. He looked right at Dean when Dean talked to him, he just didn't really respond. And he was still moving."

"Good to know," Sam relieves, not wanting to have messed with the young boy. "But _you_ weren't affected at all? I mean, you have some of what Lizzy has in the way of angel juice from your dad."

"No, I was fine," Lou shakes her head. "Maybe a little woozy the second the sigil went off or whatever, but nothing too bad."

Sam nods and accepts her answer for what it is. As long as she's fine he can shelf this one for another time.

They drive in silence for a moment until Lou blows out a hard breath and looks at Sam. "What have you two gotten into lately?"

"Nothing good," Sam tells her right off. "And we didn't expect to get into all this either… if it helps."

"It doesn't," Lou simply answers. "Prophets, the Word of God… angels and the Leviathan still out there… Giant, I know Lizzy is the worrier of the two of us but this isn't good."

"I know that…."

"I'm scared for you," Lou tells him in a rare honest and very open moment. When she looks to him quickly he can see the fear in her expression. Her blue eyes appear nervous and truly concerned for him. "I get more scared every single day you're out there and I'm not with you."

He can't help but smile at that.

"Weird reaction to that…." Lou responds.

"Sorry," Sam laughs a little, something he's found he does a lot when only around her. Whether it be with awkwardness or happiness, he actually laughs when she's near. "Sorry, I just… it's nice when you're honest."

Looking straight ahead at the road again, Lou shakes her head a little. "I'm allowed to be scared, Sam. You don't need to make it some mushy, girly thing…."

"Oh, come on. That's not what I was doing," he tells her. "It's weird though, you know? Having someone be worried about me like that. Someone not my brother. I'm not exactly used to it."

"Well, I'm not exactly used to worrying about too many people either… so there's that, I guess."

"I hear you," Sam nods. He then watches her for a moment, her hands gripping the wheel too tightly as she gets too wrapped around the danger he finds himself in every day. It's still a little shocking to him that this girl that was relentlessly trying to get into his pants when they first met has become the one thing in his life that can make him happy he's alive at all. Their evolution was a long one, awkward and made very difficult by their surrounding circumstances, but they've gotten themselves here. And here's pretty damn good. "Hey."

Lou looks back to the side, locking eyes with him.

"I missed you."

She smiles involuntarily at that before looking back out the windshield. It's so easy for him. A couple words and she's a typical girl with a crush and he's the only guy that's ever been able to reduce her to that. "Fuck you for being able to do that."

"Do what?" he grins back, already knowing.

"You know what," she says to him.

Sam smirks proudly.

"And I missed you too, you jackass," Lou says, glancing at him with a cocked eyebrow.

Sam just smiles back and they sit in silence for a bit as they drive, the haul still a long one.

"We better get some time alone before life yanks you away again," Lou pops in there. "Prophets or not, I _will_ get some ass before you leave."

"And _there's_ my kind, polite girlfriend," Sam jokes easily and laughs at her.

"Girlfriend!? Did you really just say that?" Lou disbelieves.

"Yeah, why?" Sam innocently asks.

"I don't know… sounds weird." She squirms a little with the weird-to-her label.

"Sounds accurate to me," he shrugs it away.

"Shut up," Lou says way too lightly, tightening her grip. "And I wasn't kidding. I will fuck you before we separate again."

"You never kid about sex," Sam answers back seriously. "And we'll figure it out. Won't be easy since we have a broken angel and a teen-prophet on our to-do list… oh, and the Leviathan." He huff with stress. "We have a lot to deal with right now."

Lou sighs. "Stuck babysitting all the time. No chances to kick some ass. No chances to _get_ some ass…."

"Aw, poor Louise…."

"Don't call me that!" she gets mad at him, knowing he did it on purpose. She hates her full name. It's a grandma name.

"Look, you've been safe," Sam spells it all out. "And… I need you safe. I already told you we'd try and figure out how to get you on the road again. I promise. But you gotta focus here, on the now."

"Well, right now I got a perky assed, mountain of a man that I would love to climb and get some of this stress out with," she glances at him with another very slick look. "That's what I'm focused on."

Sam quietly laughs. "Perky ass, huh?"

"The perkiest," she huffs a laugh back.

Sam grins and nods to himself. "You know, you're not the first girl to tell me that."

"Oh no?"

"Nope," he smiles sadly. "A psychic I once knew. Gave me the same compliment."

"Must be true," Lou's eyes widen a touch.

"Must be…" Sam trails off, thoughts of Pamela on his mind. Yet another person they've lost.

"Lemme guess, she's dead?" Lou asks after a few moments of silence. She can tell whatever happened with the psychic wasn't good.

Sam looks at her with a little surprise. "Uh… yeah. We lost her… couple years back."

Lou nods and stays quiet. Sam's always effected so deeply by the losses he's surrounded with. Every time it takes a little more of him.

"Well, at least she got to check out some fine real estate before she was gone, huh?" Lou jokes lightly, not looking to diminish her loss but to lighten the mood.

Sam smiles softly. "You two would have loved each other."

"Yeah?" Lou smiles.

"Oh yeah. You woulda _really_ liked her."

Lou smiles wider.

Sam pulls his phone out to do a little more research, trying to get the bare bones of what the tablet is or might be. He's never heard of the word of God in actual, tangible form before.

"Back to research?" Lou asks when she can just feel him diving back into reading as his phone lights up next to her.

"Yeah."

"Friggin' nerd," Lou says to him and reaches for the radio, turning up the Rival Sons album Lizzy burned for her a while back when she returned to Earth.

Sam just watches her for a minute, her thumbs drumming on the steering wheel as she drives too fast down the highway with rock blasting over the speakers of their stolen car. It feels too familiar.

It feels a lot like home.

* * *

Turning back around in the passenger seat after checking behind her, Lizzy sighs loudly. "Poor kid must be wiped."

When Dean checks the rearview mirror he sees both Kevin and Sammy sleeping it off on opposite ends of the backseat. The long day, the commotion, the emotional toll of it all… he somewhat wishes he was sleeping right along with them.

"Which one?" Dean jokes just a little.

Lizzy smirks slightly. "The big one."

"Yeah, well, he did just find out he's a prophet," Dean reminds her. "That'll knock a guy back on his heels."

"Yeah…" Lizzy responds, turning back around to look out the windshield as they travel away from the mess they left behind. "God, the shit life he's in for now."

"And he never asked for it," Dean mentions. "He seemed freaked to hell and back over all this. He had no idea what he was stepping in."

"None. And how could he?" Lizzy agrees with her husband. "Dean, we gotta protect him."

"Damn straight."

"Especially since no one else will. Definitely not the angels."

"No friggin' way."

"But…"

"And there's always a 'but'," Dean complains a bit, glancing at her with an aggravated smile.

"How do we do that?" Lizzy has to wonder. "How the hell are we going to stay together as a family, protect a prophet, and keep our son safe from everything?"

Dean takes one very deep breath, pausing to think. His mind is a blank on the subject. "Beats the hell right outta me."

"Super reassuring," Lizzy sighs. Dean gives her a look. "Hey, not a knock on you. I have no idea how to do this either."

"So… we got nothing for a next move?"

"Basically, yeah."

"And we're screwed?"

She lowers her sights and repeats, "Basically, yeah."

Dean huffs a small, sarcastic laugh. "Did we actually just agree on something for the first time in… forever?"

She fully grins back with that. "Well, would you look at that?"

She pulls his hand into hers and can't stop grinning at the idea that they're on the same page for the first time in a very long time.

"Oh, God," they hear Kevin's voice groggily say as he sits up in the backseat.

Lizzy lets go of Dean's hand and turns around to look at Kevin. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he answers at first, back slumped. "Nothing. Just... my life... my future... my girlfriend... my mom's car…."

Lizzy's phone rings in her pocket. She pulls it out while talking to Kevin. "Kevin, hon, I know it's a lot. I do. But just hang in there with us…." She then presses her phone to her ear and answers the unknown number. "Hello?"

Dean's face wrinkles when she exhales with relief.

"Cassie. Thank god, are you alright?" She listens moment. "Yes. It's really me…. Prove it? How?"

"Cass? Where?" Dean asks when it takes too long to find out what he's saying on the phone to her. "Where is he?"

"Shh!" Lizzy holds up an index finger to get her to wait. "No, not you Cass. Where are you?" She rolls her eyes. "No. No, Cass. I _want_ you to talk to me. The shushing wasn't for you."

"And it's rude," Dean mumbles to himself and she smacks his arm.

"Perth?!" Lizzy asks suddenly.

"Perth? As in Australia?" Dean wonders.

"Dogs, huh?" she smiles with his wacked out new ways she's still not used to. Lizzy looks at Dean. "He says he's surrounded by unhappy dogs."

Dean makes a face to show how confused he also is.

"Oh! Ok, Cass, you're just at a dog track," Lizzy finally pieces it together when he tells her more. "Yeah, I bet they are…. They're unhappy because the rabbit's fake…. Listen, we're on highway 94, north of St. Cloud, Minnesota, just passing mile marker 79…."

When Kevin shrieks in the backseat they both know Castiel has found them.

"Hey, Cass," Lizzy smiles over her shoulder as she checks on Sammy. The scream from Kevin could have been enough to stir the baby. He does move a little in his sleep, a small hand rubbing his closed eyes, and she hopes for the best.

Castiel notices also, turning to the side from his place in the center of the long backseat to check on the baby. "You're startled."

Sammy responds with a whine and a threat to become louder.

"He's uncomfortable," Castiel says, looking at Lizzy. "I think he's waking before he's supposed to."

"That happens," Lizzy sighs and looks at Dean. "Can you pull over? I'll switch with Cass so I can deal with him…."

"That's not necessary," Castiel says to her and touches the little boy's forehead, making him slip right back into a quiet sleep.

"He is just _sleeping_ , right?" Dean has to make sure as he catches Castiel's eyes in the rearview. He trusts the angel, of course, but a parent can never be too careful.

"Yes. And deeply, might I add," Castiel explains as if he did nothing at all. He then turns to his other side to see Kevin there.

"You're one of the angels?" Kevin questions him, his mind still a jumbled mess with all that's happened in just one day.

Castiel just stares at him, thinking of how to answer. However, his mind focuses in on Kevin's nose. He's been noticing many different things lately, things he normally wouldn't. A human nose, always in the center of every human face, has captured his fascination. It's a perfect structure for all its functions and is unique to each face. He reaches out and presses his index finger to Kevin's nose. "Boop." He quickly then turns to Lizzy. "Elizabeth, are you hurt?"

She smiles warmly at him for his concern. "I'm good, Cass. So is Sammy."

"Cass, what happened back there?" Dean questions, always ready to get down to business when there is some. "Who were those guys?"

"They're from the Garrison… _my_ old Garrison," Castiel explains with slight excitement. "Looks like Hester's taken over. We were assigned to watch the Earth. Often, it was boring. The wars were very boring and the sex… you know, the repetition. Anyway, I was, uh... I was their captain. Isn't that strange?"

"Why are they angry with us now?" Lizzy wonders, her eyes moving between a sleeping baby, a frightened prophet, and a broken angel. So much to worry about at the same time but she keeps her exterior calm for them all.

Once more, Castiel's newly inquisitive mind races in a new direction. "You know, those racing dogs were absolutely miserable. They can only think in ovals."

"Cass, don't make me pull this car over! Why are angels after us?"

Lizzy snaps her focus on her husband and gives him a warning for his impatience. "Dean…."

"Are you angry!?" Castiel asks quickly, back stiffened. "Why are you angry!?"

Lizzy gives Dean a knowing look, telling him to relax a little.

"No, I… I'm..." Dean sighs. "Please, can we just stay on target?"

"I really think that your anger will be the thing that just may bring you down one day, Dean," Castiel explains kindly, looking to be nothing more than helpful. "It's worrisome for me, as your good friend, to always see the stressful way you live your life. Meditation could do you some real good…."

"I don't do yoga pants, Cass," Dean tells him lightly despite squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with one hand.

"Either way, there is no reason for anger," Castiel continues. "Hester and my old garrison are only following protocol. If the Word of God is revealed, a keeper of the Word will awaken…." Castiel turns to Kevin and once more presses his index finger to his nose playfully a few times. "Like this hot potato right here."

Kevin bats his hand away from his face. "Please, stop that."

Castiel does. "Anyway, Garrison code dictates you take the keeper to the desert to learn the Word away from men."

"What kind of sense does that make?" Dean wonders aloud. "He has to tell us so that we can use it."

Castiel can just shrug at that. "That's God and his shiny red apples."

"I can't live in the desert," Kevin denies the idea. "I… I'm applying to Princeton!"

Lizzy just sends him a sad smile. "Okay. Well, Cass, you know what? Screw the Garrison. We need the tablet to kill Dick. That's priority here. The Leviathan are gonna end us all if we don't."

"If you want the Word, you'll have to avoid Hester and her soldiers," the angel lets her know.

"But you're in our corner, right, Cass?" Dean asks him. "You'll help us?"

Castiel looks at Sammy for a second and grins. "No, I don't fight anymore." He locks eyes with Dean in the rearview mirror. "I watch the bees."

Lizzy laughs lightly, enjoying the idea of Castiel no longer fighting for some reason. "Well, don't watch any bees too far away from us, ok? Now that you're awake I want to know where you are, make sure you're alright."

Castiel's face softens to something purely mushy as he stares at her. "Elizabeth, it's my job to watch over you. You don't need to worry about me."

"I will anyways."

"Well, you need to worry more about the little Second Coming next to me," Castiel reminds her. "I'm old. I can handle myself. Samuel is small, weak… and needs your concern much more than I do. Priorities."

Lizzy can't help but fully laugh as she turns back around in her seat, watching the road. "My family is priority," she tells him, turning back around to face out the windshield with a slight grin. "Every single member of it."

Castiel looks away from her and smiles a bit himself. He's back in. He's part of their family. He's never been happier to be a part of anything in his very long life. "Isn't that curious…."

* * *

 


	2. It's Not a Sex Torture Dungeon!

* * *

He couldn't have been sleeping for more than fifteen minutes when he hears it. Struggled breathing. Not Lizzy's for once. He's used to her panicked sounds, anxiety attacks being a part of her life… though they've severely lessened in the past years. She's accustomed to shit happening to her now. He really wishes she wasn't.

Dean doesn't bother opening his eyes from his cat nap in an old, rickety chair in Rufus' cabin basement. With his feet on the wooden table he's sharing, his arms crossed over his chest still, he checks on the kid in the room. "Kevin?"

"This is all too much," his freaked out voice huffs through alarmed panting, sitting at the table with the tablet and a notebook in front of him. "What's happened to my life? I'm just a kid from Michigan. I didn't want to be a Word-keeper!"

Peeking one eye open, Dean can see the telltale signs he's all too familiar with. Now, he has his ways of helping Lizzy through attacks but he's not about to use those on this unknown kid. "Looks like we're brown-baggin' it." He stands up and grabs the nearest paper bag, shakes it open, and hands it to Kevin.

Kevin takes a few deep breaths into it and starts to calm, Dean's hand clamped roughly onto his shoulder grounding him.

"I am not prepared to factor the supernatural into my world view," Kevin speaks into the bag, still huffing and puffing.

"Keep breathing," Dean tells him and Kevin keeps the bag back over his mouth. "Okay, there we go." He pats his back and takes a step away from him when the kid starts to calm. "That's it. That's it. Just breathe. Take it easy." He's done this so many times for Lizzy he's now on autopilot.

Kevin just continues to catch his breath.

"I don't know, man. What can I say?" Dean talks randomly, not sure what else to do. "You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking 'why me?' because the angels… they don't care."

"Most of them, no. They don't."

Dean and Kevin both look to the stairs as Lizzy steps off the last one, a tray in her hands. She smiles at them both, happy to be back in Dean's presence after mending their broken marriage and she's ready to give the poor young prophet a kind, caring presence when that's exactly what he'll need.

"I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care," Dean adds in, watching her set a tray of grilled cheese sandwiches and two bowls of tomato soup on the table Kevin's working at. "Seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart."

"Cass does seem to prove that theory right," she sadly responds, the breakdown of sorts Castiel is currently in being proof. She places a bowl in front of Kevin and hands him a spoon. "You have to be starving."

"I feel like puking," Kevin tells her, not all that hungry.

"Give it a try anyways," she points to the bowl and eyes him. He feels like he's being mothered. Kevin dips his spoon into the soup and eats a scoop. "There you go. Gotta keep that strength up for reading, right?"

Kevin sighs with the task at hand. "I don't want to read this. I don't want to be a prophet. I just want to be the first Asian-American President of the United States."

A sweet smile on Lizzy's face with that and Dean tells him, "Then do your homework."

"Homework…" Kevin grumbles, picking up his pen again and looking at the stone tablet. "I didn't even get to my Calculus homework. And my college acceptance essay…." He groans, covers his hands over his face.

"Kevin, I'm really sorry this is happening to you. But we need your help," Lizzy plays it true and honest. "And without your help there won't be a college for you to be accepted to. You just tell us how to kill the head Leviathan and we'll send you packing on home."

"What!?" Dean fires out, thinking she's lying.

"We can't keep him here against his will…."

"The hell we can't!" he yells easily and Kevin starts to freak out again. "Especially if his will is not to die!"

"Die!?" Kevin looks between them.

"Whoa, no, no," Lizzy promises, walking over to him and placing her hands on his shoulders, looking right at him. "Kevin, you're with the good guys."

"You sure?" Kevin asks her, eyes sliding over to Dean for a second before returning to her.

"Very," Lizzy tells him, certain of it. "Do I seem like a bad guy?"

He thinks for a second. "Well… no…."

"And do you think I would've married and had a child with Dean if he was a bad guy?"

"I don't know," Kevin says nervously. "But you do seem smarter than that."

She laughs slightly. "I am. Look, we might be rough around the edges… but we're caught in all this just like you are. And have been for a good chunk of our lives. We're on your side. Ok?"

Kevin nods as he calms his pending anxiety, feeling it recede with her honest words.

"Alright then. Eat up, would you?" she points to the food. She then looks at Dean. "You too."

"That has never been a problem," Dean tells her, picking up a half of a grilled cheese and tearing it in two with excited eyes, the cheese stringing and making his mouth water. "Ugh, I knew you loved me."

She winks as he dunks a section of sandwich into the tomato soup and takes an enormous bite. He moans shamelessly around the food as he chews, eyes closed.

When he opens them he sees Kevin looking at him oddly. "What?"

"One second you're scaring the crap out of me in your sex torture dungeon…."

"It's _not_ a sex torture dungeon!" Dean insists after already telling him this before.

"And then the next you're telling your wife you love her and crushing hard on a grilled cheese."

"It's freakin' delicious," Dean tells him, swallowing the big bite. He then thinks and makes a smirk. "So is she."

Kevin just shakes his head before looking back at the tablet. "Just trying to figure out if I'm being watched over by Jekyll or Hyde."

Dean takes offence for a split second but then brushes it off in favor of hot food.

He retakes his seat at the table and looks over what Kevin is doing. His notes are messy and his face looks highly stressed and scared.

Suddenly, the urge to protect this kid and make sure he's cared for hits. He knows it's the father-thing in him. Ever since Sammy was born he's found himself looking at people, as well as the whole world, differently. He doesn't look at the twenty year old girl in a short skirt and think about how hot she is. Instead he sees a girl that should be home, in proper clothing, where her father can watch her. And the lost kid sitting in front of him, tasked with being a prophet and reading God's Word?

"Hey," Dean tells him, pulling the notebook and tablet a good foot away from Kevin.

"Dude!" Kevin gets upset.

"Take a break," Dean directs in a less harsh tone. "Eat."

"I want to go home," Kevin reminds him. "As soon as I get the information you guys need I can go back to SAT prep and… my future."

"Five minutes isn't gonna change that," Dean insists, sliding the tray of food between them. "L went food shopping two towns over and made this on a stove that only half works. She did that for you. Don't tick her off, huh?"

Kevin sighs and picks up a half of a sandwich. He takes a small bite and chews with the stubborn huffiness of a teenager.

"That'a boy," Dean smirks as he dunks come of his own grilled cheese into his bowl of soup. He bites it, his shoulders lowering as he rolls his eyes. "Oh, yeah…."

* * *

On the main floor of the cabin Lizzy gets back to work making more sandwiches and soup for the rest of the group. As she does, frying up sandwiches on a terrible excuse for a stove, Sam draws all over the walls with sidewalk chalk to protect them from whatever they can manage to keep out.

"You seem troubled," Castiel mentions as he watches Sam's tense shoulders move about the room.

Sam turns around to look as Cass as he paces the room while holding Sammy, never being without the child if he can manage since he woke up in the institute. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Castiel tells him as he hands over a bacon shaped teething toy to Sammy, the baby popping it into his mouth instantly to chew and drool all over it. "Of course, that's a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it."

Sam doesn't acknowledge the snicker from the kitchen area as Lizzy listens in. "Okay. Um... right now I'm just wondering about you."

"What about me?" the angel asks. "You're worried about the burden I lifted from you?"

Sam nods slightly as he steps away from the wall to speak honestly to him. "I think I was done for… or I _know_ I was." He looks at Castiel with hardened eyes. "Do you see Lucifer?"

"I did at first," Castiel answers, bouncing Sammy. His sights always come back to the little boy every so many minutes. "But that was... it was a projection of yours, I think, sort of an aftertaste. Now I more see... well, everything."

Lizzy pauses her work as the sandwiches brown to listen in.

"It's funny. I was… I was done for, too," Castiel remains truthful. "I think Elizabeth could attest to that."

"You scared the shit outta me, Cass," Lizzy tells him, spatula in hand as she crosses her arms and leans back into the short counter. "I didn't think you were ever waking up. Don't ever do that to me again, by the way!"

Castiel smiles and looks away with the love she has for him, a love he only assumed she'd never return when he first started watching over her. What a lovely surprise it's been to be a large part of her life and have a true friend in her. "You no longer need to be my caretaker, Elizabeth. I am an angel after all. I have powers."

"Yeah, and so do the angels that want you dead… and they have numbers," she reminds him.

Castiel ignores the comment and gets back on track. "The weight of all my mistakes, all those lives and souls lost, I... I couldn't take it, either. I was… I was lost until I took on your pain. It's strange to think that that helped, but…."

"Cass, I know you never did anything but try to help. I realize that, and I'm grateful. We're all grateful," Sam says and looks to Lizzy for back up.

"Absolutely," she tells him.

"And we're gonna help you get better, okay? No matter what it takes," Sam promises and the angel wrinkles his face with confusion.

"What do you mean, better?" Castiel wonders as he narrows his eyes and tilts his head at Sam.

"He just means… you've changed from the way you used to be," Lizzy tries to help explain as she flips the sandwiches in the large pan. "And we want to help put you back to good old Cass. That's all."

"But… I _am_ Cass," he rebuts. "And now… I see everything. I'm understanding things that before I wouldn't even think to spend time on. Do you know how good fresh rain smells? How absolutely amazing a sunrise is to experience and how fascinating a child, devoid of hate or negativity, can be when just simply…." He looks right at Sammy. "Chewing on plastic food."

Sam smiles right along with Lizzy at this before answering easily. "Yeah. I do."

"But I didn't, not before now," Castiel explains it the best way he can. "All this time, watching Earth and its human inhabitants… and I missed so much of what I was surrounded with. I see it now." His sights land on Lizzy. "I do not need to be fixed. I think I _am_ fixed. I think… good _new_ Cass is better than good old Cass. Don't you?"

Lizzy and Sam hold eye contact for a second with the angel's massive revelations, unsure of what to say at first. Lizzy then smiles.

"Well, if you're happy like this then… who are we to judge?" Sam tells him, understanding.

"Thank you, Sam," Castiel says with the pleasant feeling of being accepted.

"I totally let myself forget how weird this place smelled," Lou bitches grumpily as she marches into the main room of the cabin and ends the lovely conversation where it is.

"You'll survive," Sam tells her, certain of it as he looks at her sitting into a chair at the table.

"You're _so_ sympathetic." Her bite isn't lost on him and he wrinkles his forehead. She sticks her tongue out at him before looking at Lizzy. "Whacha got cooking up?"

"Grilled cheese and soup. Nice and easy."

"Works for me," Lou nods. "You buy beer?"

"Am I a Winchester?" Lizzy jokes and heads for the refrigerator, tossing Lou a can. She catches it.

"Nice," she smiles and cracks it open. She pulls down a good swig before sighing. "Ah, yeah. Needed that."

Sam just huffs a quiet laugh at her. It has been a long day. He doesn't blame her.

"So, what do we do now?" Lou asks the group. "Just let Kevin do his translation thing and wait for the angels to catch up?"

"Looks like," Sam nods as he walks to her and steals her beer, taking a sip before handing it back.

Castiel agrees. "I think we have a good enough head start on Hester to prevent her from finding us…."

And the door of the cabin bursts open, splintering in pieces with the force.

"I may have been wrong," Castiel says in a disappointed tone. He holds Sammy tighter as Hester and Inias walk into the cabin.

Lizzy grits her teeth as she shuts off the burners, her eyes hard on Cass. The angel nods and silently promises her he will protect Sammy.

"You took the prophet from us!?" Hester immediately says with nothing short of fury, eyeing Castiel hard.

The three humans in the room all get on their feet and make their way closer, silently knowing they need to keep Sammy safe and make sure the prophet is out of the angel's grasp.

Dean's feet pound up the stairs to the first floor of the small cabin after the burst he heard. He shuts the basement door behind him and locks it, as if it would help against Heaven's almighty.

Castiel cocks his head and looks at Hester. "I'm… sorry?" He isn't sure what to say to the spiteful angel.

"You have fallen in every way imaginable," Hester fires out, her form ridged with pure hate.

"Please, Castiel," Inias pleads with him, using a less hateful tone. He still believes in Castiel and it's very clear he does. He can't believe there's no goodness left in him after all the years they've been side-by-side. "We have to follow the code. Help us do our work."

"He can't help you," Sam tells Inias, trying to protect the broken angel. "He can't help anybody right now, not in his shape."

"We don't need his help... or his permission," Hester reminds as she nods at Inias. He looks sad for just a split second and he disappears.

"The Keeper goes to the desert tonight."

When Inias returns he brings Kevin with him, having retrieved him from the basement where he was translating the tablet. He has a tight grip on his shoulder and Kevin's face is filled with fear.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean steps forward, hands out to show he won't be trying to fight. "Back off. We're actually trying to clean up one of your angel's messes, you know that."

"He's right," Castiel nods, his hand to the back of Sammy's head as he squirms in his hold with the commotion. "An angel brought the Leviathan back into this world, and… and they begged him. They begged him not to do it."

"Look, just give us some time, okay?" Dean asks, hoping to appeal to their goodness… if these angels have any left. "We will take care of your Prophet."

"Why should _we_ give _you_ anything!?" Hester nearly screams while staring down the brazen human. She steps towards him but Dean stands his ground, not retreating one inch. "After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! For that, you're going to pay."

Hester takes a few more steps in Dean's direction, angel blade out and fire in her eyes.

On instinct, Castiel stands between Hester and Dean, blocking her way despite Sammy still being in his hold. "Please. They're the ones we were put here to protect."

She somehow finds an even angrier level. "No, Castiel!"

Hester winds up and backhands Castiel hard on the side of his face, the blow making him fall to the ground. Castiel brings his arms around Sammy protectively, keeping him from harm but at the risk of his own self. He hits his head hard on the wooden floor.

"Hey!" Dean gets fired up quickly when his son is put in harm's way.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Lizzy threatens, her own kneejerk reaction also kicking in. Sam catches her around the waist as she tries to march for the angel she'd never win a fight against.

"Oh, don't worry about your precious Second Coming," Hester snaps as she watches Lizzy get held back by Sam and Dean blocking her path to Castiel. "We aren't here for him. Not yet at least."

Red. All he sees is red.

_Not yet._

Dean reaches behind himself and grabs the hilt of the angel blade he had hidden behind his back. First they come here threatening the poor kid that's just been tossed head first into Biblical bullshit. Then they come after his friend. And now the angel mentions coming for his son in the future and Dean's done.

As Sam keeps a tight grip on Lizzy, they all watch as Dean charges Hester, blade out and ready. The moment he gets close to her, Hester grabs his jacket and flings him across the room with ease. He smashes into the table and breaks it apart under him.

"Dean!" Lizzy shouts his name the second he impacts.

"These… _people_. How could you choose them over us!? Your brothers and sisters!?" Hester screams at Castiel, focusing in on him once more when her outrage gets further fueled with the presence of the humans. "No more madness!" She then swiftly punches him in the face so hard his entire body reacts, Sammy starting to cry with the commotion.

"Hester…" Castiel tries to get her attention as he turns away from her, shielding Sammy with his body. "Please… Samuel…."

"No more promises!" she doesn't stop, grabbing Castiel's trench coat and punching him again.

"You bitch!" Lizzy screams as Sam keeps holding her back. Hurting her angel, putting her son in danger, attacking her husband… she's ready to throw down. "I'll kill you!"

Hester ignores her completely, never fearing a human. "No more new Gods!" she punches him again as Sammy wails in Castiel's arms. She then pulls out her angel blade and raises it high, ready to end Castiel for all his wrong doing.

"Don't! Please!" Lizzy lets out, horrified by the idea of what could be just moments from happening.

"Hester! No!" Inias tries to stop her, a hand to her shoulder. "Please! There's so few of us left."

Hester simply punches him in the face, backing him away. She then looks at Castiel, bloodied on the floor and at her mercy as he holds carefully to the Second Coming. "You wanted free will, Castiel. Now _I'm_ making the choices."

She once more raises her blade but before she can do anything more the point of another shiny angel blade pushes through her chest from behind. She lights up, white shining through her and bursting as she instantly dies. When she falls over, Lou is standing behind her, anger in her expression.

The room stares at her with shock, having been so preoccupied by everything that no one saw her coming.

"Hey, I wasn't gonna just let her kill the fucking dude," Lou says, everyone still surprised. Especially Castiel. Especially when she reaches down and grabs his hand, hauling him to his feet.

"Thank you, Lou," Castiel says, already bouncing a crying Sammy once he's back on his feet. "I was certain before now that you didn't like me all that much."

"I don't," Lou wrinkles her brow, stating it quickly. "You used my soul, remember?"

Castiel sighs. "Quite clearly. And I know how wrong that was now that it is over and my ego is back to its appropriate size." He looks down at the floor. "I truly overreached. I'm very sorry for that."

Lou rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Lizard loves you so… whatever."

Lizzy runs to Dean to check him over, the hit he took quite horrible. "Hot Shot!?" Lizzy asks for him to respond, pulling pieces of table off of him. "Dean, talk to me."

He just groans in pain, pushing off the floor to look at her. "M' fine. Fine."

"How's your head?"

"As banged up as ever," he grumbles, sitting up slowly. "Sammy good?"

"Yes. Cass made sure of it," Lizzy smiles slightly.

"Good," Dean responds with, blinking away the haze.

"Careful," Lizzy tells him as she helps him stand very slowly. He stumbles a little and she knows what that probably means. "Oh, you probably have a concussion."

"Must be Thursday," Dean jokes dryly and leans his weight into her a little. "I'll live."

"Ugh, alright you little jerk," Lou says with levity as she pulls Sammy from Castiel's arms. "Time to quiet down." She pulls him in until his head is over her shoulder, his cheek pressed to her with obvious comfort and security with her, and she pats his back and walks around the cabin. She may be sick of being a full time babysitter and nothing else but that doesn't mean she doesn't still love her nephew to absolute pieces. "I know. She was a scary angel. But Auntie Louie took care of that, didn't she? Shh. Shh, squirt. I got your back…."

Inias and Castiel take a moment as they stare silently down at Hester's unmoving body.

"These are strange times," Inias mentions, hurting with the loss of yet another angel that went rogue with having to make decisions on her own.

"I think they've always been," Castiel comments in return, seeing the world more clearly these days.

"I wish you'd come with us," Inias says with a hand to Castiel's forehead. He heals his wounds from Hester's attack and sighs. He knows Castiel is in no shape to return to Heaven or to get back to any kind of work but it's a wish of his nonetheless. Castiel was a good angel, fuck ups and all. He meant well and good intention is worth something, even now.

"Oh, I'm not part of the Garrison anymore, Inias," Castiel tells him with some sadness.

"I'm sorry."

"Please, don't be," Castiel tells him. "I am a different angel now. I like what I've become. And I need time to think about all the wrong I've done. I need to repent."

"I understand."

"Hey, uh… you think you could give us a little more time with Kevin?" Sam asks, walking to them. Everyone around him is dealing with fallout: Lou is with Sammy, Lizzy is helping a dazed Dean, and the angels are mourning the loss of yet another angel. Sam's had a moment to really look at Kevin. He's frightened. And the kid needs to go home. "If he lets us know how to kill Dick by reading the tablet then you might be able to bring him home instead of the desert. He can go live his life."

"He may need to be called upon for other tasks," Inias mentions. "He could be needed in the future."

"But he might not… right?" Sam questions with hope.

"Well… I guess there is no real way to be sure," Inias answers.

"Then… can you let him go back?" Sam pleads his case. "Maybe just watch him from a distance and let him go on with his life. I mean, the kid could have a pretty bright future in front of him that he's worked really hard for. If you never needed him again then what's the harm in letting him live his life?"

Inias looks over at the frightened prophet, the boy sitting on the couch where Sam left him, the tablet clutched to his chest. The angel is a forgiving one, taking God's word to protect the human race very seriously. "I will take him home. Once he's done."

* * *

"Thanks, Kevin," Sam says, genuinely thankful as the new prophet hands over a used spiral notebook, the tablet's translation written in it. "Not a lot of people could have handled this."

"You doing all right there, 'chosen one'?" Dean checks on him as he stands next to Sam.

"Yeah," Kevin lies completely, excited to leave and get back to his life.

"Are you ready, Kevin Tran?" Inias asks, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kevin nods.

"Thank you, Kevin," Lizzy says her goodbye to him with a slight smile. "Really. You changed the game for us. You might have just saved the world."

"Just doing… what I can, I guess," Kevin shrugs, everything he's learned just too heavy to really comprehend.

"You have our numbers. If you need anything at all, you call," Lizzy makes sure he understand.

Kevin once again nods right before Inias flies them off to return the prophet to his family.

The moment he's gone, Lizzy sighs heavily. Dean hears it and drops an arm around her shoulder. "You alright?"

"I'm worried about him," Lizzy says in a sad tone, her arms coming around his middle as she hugs him with concern. "The poor kid… he's just so sweet and clueless."

"He'll be ok," Dean tries to assure her, hugging her back. "Inias has his back. What's better than that?"

"Yeah, I guess," Lizzy drops it, not feeling any better. She looks up at him. "Your head ok?"

"Not really, but I'll live," he promises.

"Maybe we should get you to bed?" Lizzy smirks a little.

"Oh I would love to… but only after we save the world," Dean tells her lightly and leans down to kiss her quickly.

Lizzy laughs a little against his lips and kisses back, humming a little when she dives a bit deeper into the embrace.

"Ok, _what the fuck_!?"

Dean and Lizzy separate sharply with the yelling and look at Lou from across the room.

"What's up?" Lizzy asks with total confusion.

" _What's up_!?" Lou asks, fired up. "Is that a fucking joke!? Just last night the two of you were fucking bickering and fighting and I was so over your dumb asses that I was ready to kill you both… now you're all cutesy and kissy and I wanna puke. What… the fuck… is up?"

"Louie… language," Lizzy tells her with horrified eyes, nodding to the blanket on the floor Sammy is playing quietly on.

"Answer the question!" Lou keeps her on track, not caring about her swearing in front of Sammy enough to get distracted from answers.

"Well… uh…" Dean looks at Lizzy and he can't even figure out where to begin with that conversation.

Sam looks between Lizzy and Dean and narrows his eyes. "You're back together." He says it rather than asks as he already knows it's true. One look that their body language and it's obvious to him.

"Yes," Lizzy answers and stops there, also unsure of what else to say.

"When did you have time to do that!?" Lou asks, infuriated that it was so easy after dealing with their hostility for so long.

"Time is… fluid, Lou," Castiel tells her as he sits in the middle of the open cabin floor, playing with Sammy. He hands over a soft stuffed dog that Sammy immediately starts to chew on its ear and the angel keeps his eye line on the boy as he speaks. "I was able to show Elizabeth and Dean that they were supposed to be together within a series of time speculative instances and cross-dimensional, alternate-reality experiences. Even if it felt like several lifetimes for them it all took place within, I'd say, twenty minutes."

Lou just takes a beat to stare at Castiel, completely unimpressed and deadpanned. "Fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about time differentials and manipulating them within the celestial wavelengths I exist." Once more his tone makes it clear that he believes his explanation to be understandable to most. It's not.

"Yeah… ah, we're human, Cass," Sam says lightly, looking to understand.

Castiel nods, remembering he needs to explain in their terms. "I showed them that no matter what reality, what time period or situation they were put into, that they were meant to be together," he spells it out. "Once they saw that they were meant to be and meant to love each other… they've mended their bond."

Lou and Sam stay quiet as they try to decipher what that all means.

"Basically, we were being asshats," Dean simplifies it.

"I coulda told you that," Lou mumbles with an attitude.

"And you did," Lizzy tells her with an edge. "But Cass was able to show us in a way you couldn't. We saw what could have been and… we realize we're better as a team."

"And that's it?" Lou asks, still unable to grasp this all. "It was that easy?"

"Oh, it was far from easy," Castiel says lightly, pulling Sammy into his lap. Both examining the soft, cloth dog and Sammy leans his back against Castiel's front. "These two people are possibly the most stubborn people there are… aside from both you and Sam, that is."

"Ha-ha," Lou fake laughs patronizingly at the diss the angel didn't mean. He was simply being honest.

"It took so much to get them to open their eyes to the truth," Castiel keeps talking, finally raising his eye line to look at Lou several feet away. "But when my brothers and sisters and I worked so hard to form this union… and considering my Father even gave them true, honest love and a bond that is so rare… I couldn't let them just ruin it. You all have been through so much. The little happiness you have shouldn't be taken away… like you and Sam."

She makes a funny face. "What about me and Sam?"

"Well, you both have somehow developed a bond not unlike Dean and Elizabeth's. I'm not sure how, considering my Father and the angels had nothing to do with it, but I can sense it. The word soulmate comes to mind… but it's different somehow. I'm not sure exactly… never seen anything quite like it but I would never wish it to break. And you both have earned that happiness after the lives you've had."

Castiel goes right back into playing with Sammy and ignoring the rest of the room.

Lou's frozen in place. Her body can't move as her wide eyes stare at the angel. Soulmates? What the fuck is this angel talking about?

And Sam's also speechless for a moment. He's done enough research with Lizzy and Dean to know what a soulmate is. It's Heaven's assignment of one person to another to further the destiny of prophesized events. _Heaven's_ … but Heaven didn't assign them that bond. They're just a regular couple.

"Cass," Sam starts, trying to get his mind to work. "I thought all soulmates were Heaven's doing… or at least that's what that Cupid told us."

"Cupids are real?" Lou asks, having missed that during her time in Purgatory.

"We'll talk later," Sam assures her, looking to shelf that for one moment.

"Yes, Sam," Castiel explains, standing up and bringing Sammy and his stuffed dog with him. As the child gnaws at the dog's ear some more, the angel looks at Sam sincerely. "All soulmates are formed by Cupids at Heaven's order. You and Lou?" He shakes his head and shrugs. "We never had such orders."

"So... we're just a couple of people who love each other then… right?" Lou tries to shrug it off. "That shit happens every day."

"Well, that part is true. People do fall in love all the time, or at least they think they do," Castiel keeps explaining as if none of what he says is a big revelation. "But what you two have…." He looks back and forth between Sam and Lou a few times, contemplative look in place. "It's stronger than that."

"Seriously?" Lou scrunches her face, hating how this sounds.

"Yes. I'm always serious," Castiel breezily answers before sharply turning to Lizzy. "He smells unpleasant."

She shakes her head with the sudden topic change. "Yeah, uh… he probably needs to be changed."

"Ah, self-control," Castiel suddenly understands. "Something not mastered for the first few years of a child's life. Or maybe more." Castiel gives Lizzy a knowing look.

"Shut up," Lizzy tells him with sharp annoyance as she takes her son from his arms.

Dean's eyes go wide when he can tell there's something there. "What're you talking about, Cass?"

"Nothing," Lizzy snaps, grabbing Sammy's baby bag. "He's not talking about anything."

"That's not true. I'm speaking of your childhood issues with…."

"Cass!" she shouts while horrified to try and stop him.

"What?" Castiel wonders innocently, not picking up on her fear. "Many children face issues with bedwetting, some longer than even you did."

"What!?" Dean lights up brightly, staring at his wife with a grin. This detail doesn't compute.

"Watch it," she warns him with her face of irritancy.

Dean just smirks and keeps going. "You were a freakin' bed-wetter!?"

Lizzy grits her teeth and closes her eyes. "I was a kid. It was in my sleep. I couldn't help it."

"And she's had quite the solid handle on it since the age of nine." Castiel says it with such pride that Lizzy could almost be convinced he's bragging despite it being nothing to brag about.

Once he says it the room goes quiet, Lizzy hanging her head with a sigh. She waits for the onslaught but nothing happens. She then looks around the room. "What? Nothing?"

No one speaks still. They don't know what to say about the hard-ass hunter/mother bear/walking anger management issue that wet the bed until such an old age.

"Come on! Get it over with!" Lizzy yells finally, unable to wait any longer.

Dean busts out laughing right then, unable to hold back. "Holy shit! That can't be true!"

"It's totally true," Lou laughs finally, letting loose and airing the secret she's kept for years. "She peed on me at a sleepover once. While we were sleeping."

"Lou! Shut up!" Lizzy gets ticked off at her sister.

"You're mad at _me_!?" Lou asks with audacity, eyes wide. "The fucking angel's the one that spilled the beans, not me!"

"You're not helping!"

"I helped for years! I never told anyone!"

"Fuck everyone," Lizzy mumbles and takes Sammy and his diaper bag up to the second floor of the cabin to change him and get a reprieve from the taunting.

The second she's gone, Dean looks at Lou with a dropped jaw. "I don't even know what to say."

"Move past it, dude," Lou warns with a giggle. "She'll be so pissed if you keep it up. That's her skeleton in the closet."

"Seriously? _That's_ the big one?" Dean wonders and Lou nods yes. He then makes a face.

"Got a few bigger skeletons of your own there, Dean?" Lou cocks an eyebrow.

"His closet is a completely filled walk-in… check this out," Sam says, face buried in the notebook Kevin gave them. He's ready to move on, get this all done, and get some semblance of a life back. He reads a direct translation. "Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen. Uh... it says we need to start with the blood of a fallen angel."

All three hunters look right at Castiel where he stands.

The angel smiles softly. "Well, you know me." He produces a small glass bottle in his hand. "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters." He grips it into his fist and suddenly it's filled with his own angelic blood. He walks over to Lou and Sam and makes a snap decision. "Here," he hands it to Lou. "I feel like maybe you're less likely to drop or lose it for some reason."

"Uh…" Lou starts, surprised by this. "Thanks."

Castiel shares a small smile at that. He hopes he's making his way to a better place with her.

"What are you gonna do, Cass?" Dean asks as he stands next to the angel with a brand new attitude.

"I don't know," he answers back truthfully. He then grins. "Isn't that amazing?"

Castiel then disappears.

Lou shakes her head. "I'll never get used to that."

"Alright… well, let's get to work." Dean slaps Sam on the arm with a cautiously excited tone, feeling a touch of hope for the first time in a long time.

* * *

 


	3. Relaxation Techniques

* * *

"Dean!?" Lou tries again, yelling the man's name and getting no response. She can only see the soles of his boots as they're propped up on the arm of the couch from where she's sitting at the table. He claimed that he and Sammy were going to go over Kevin's notes until something made sense. Nope. He's out cold. So is Sammy.

"Nap time all around, I guess," Sam says with a little yawn, knowing Lizzy's still asleep upstairs after changing Sammy.

"Yeah, for _them_ ," Lou bitches as she gets up. She walks for the coffee maker and starts setting up a fresh pot to brew. "But someone's gotta stay awake and get shit done."

"I don't know," Sam leans back in his chair, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Maybe we should just get a couple hours too. We're no good dead on our feet."

"We're fine," Lou tells him, measuring out scoops of coffee grounds.

"How are you fine?" Sam asks with disbelief.

Lou fills the pot with water as she looks over her shoulder. "Purgatory was very good sleep deprivation training."

Sam watches her finish setting up the coffee maker, his head remembering all that she's still somewhat recently gone through. It was less than a year ago that she was waking up confused and attacking her family members due to post-traumatic stress from the place she was banished to for years. They've been so busy with the Leviathan and Lizzy and Dean's relationship crumbling and Sammy's basic needs and their own long distance relationship… he's let it slip.

"How're you doing lately?" Sam wonders, dropping his pen and sitting back, looking right at her with his hands clasped in his lap.

Lou turns around as the coffee brews, her lower back leaning into the counter as she crosses her arms over her chest. She shrugs. "Peachy. Why?"

"Well, you _did_ just pop out of Purgatory, like, ten months ago. Figured maybe it was still… affecting you."

Lou smirks. "And you popped out of Hell less than a couple years ago. And you're brain just got put back together a few weeks back. How are _you_ doing? Thought maybe it might still be affecting you." She says the last part with easy sarcasm.

Sam nods slowly once. "Ok. That's fair. But I asked you first."

"What are you, a child?" Lou nearly laughs at his tactics.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Sam quickly fires back and gets Lou to honestly smile at his jesting. "Seriously. How are you?"

"I'm… me," she shrugs again. "Or whatever the hell me is after being there for a few years. I know I'm not the same as I was before I went but… I'm alright."

"You _are_ less jumpy," Sam concedes.

"Hey, something for the win column," Lou jokes, knowing that list is a short one for them as of late.

"But I still worry," Sam admits. "I mean, you used to be the controlled one of the two of you. Lizzy was the angry one. You seem to have taken that over a little."

"I was taken away from my family for four years… all the while I had to scrape and claw just to survive without any real reason to want to survive anyways." Lou huffs a sad laugh. "I lost four good years with you… well, you know, once I would have pulled my head out of my ass and realized you were in love with me all along, that is."

Sam just laughs at her. "I think we both needed to do that back then." Before Lou was turned and killed they both were playing a pretty heavy game of denial. They knew what they felt deep down but fear and hunting won out. They were too fearful of what those feelings meant to do more than mess around and pretend they were just really good friends. But they spoke nearly every day on the phone. They thought about each other constantly. They just never acted on it until Lou was pulled out of Purgatory by Cass and returned to their world.

"So… of course I'm pissed. Why wouldn't I be pissed?" Lou challenges.

"I get it," Sam nods. "I just wasn't ready for how much you changed at first, I think."

"Hey, I wasn't the only one that changed," she grins a little.

"I know that Hell changed me," Sam answers, his voice small with the topic. He's ashamed of how much he allowed Lucifer to take/ruin of him.

Lou cocks an eyebrow and grins a little. "Not what I meant." He looks at her with a questioning expression. Her eyes are suddenly hungry. "When I left you were a shaggy-haired nerdy kid that was so cute I wanted to corrupt him seven ways from Sunday."

Sam looks up to the ceiling for a moment, cheeks heating up. "That's cute…."

"But when I came back," Lou shakes her head and when Sam looks back at her she's already on her way over to him. He parts his knees a little more for her when she reaches him, standing in front of him with her hands on the sides of his neck. "You were just seven feet of pure, solid… mm-mm." She hums out her inability to put to words what Sam's become in her eyes and instead leans into him and plants a very serious, very slow kiss on his lips.

"I'm only six-four," Sam tells her between kisses that have turned heated awfully quickly. Damn, it's been too long since they've had any form of time alone.

"Only six-four?" Lou asks, sliding her tongue across his right after. "You're too short for my standards."

Sam kisses her back but is also aware of her tactics. "You're avoiding the topic," he tells her, his hands landing on her hips as he kisses her some more.

"You wanna talk about the Cage?" Lou challenges, making out with him as she has a goal in mind now. Sometimes something as simple as seeing his huge form sitting casually in a chair as he checks on her wellbeing is more of a turn on than she would ever want to admit. "And Purgatory?" She then lets her hand slide down to the front of his pants, feeling him hard already. "Or do you want me to take care of that little problem for you?"

"What're you calling little?" Sam jests lightly back, his expression giving away how lost into her tactics he already is.

"Sorry…." She squeezes him slightly through his jeans. " _Big_ problem." Lou then watches as Sam keeps his eyes on her but seems so far away. She can tell his brain is still going a mile a minute. "Sammy, honey?"

He blinks and focuses on her harder.

"I'm right here," she reminds, her lips moving closer to her his, brushing against his when she continues. "Don't get too far away when we actually have a couple minutes to ourselves for the first time in… over a month."

He thinks quickly, knowing that talking would be what's best, but Sam's gotten a lot better at thinking of his primal needs as a high priority when she's around. It's like she's training him to give into his needs unlike the prude that always let work and life win over sex when he was younger.

Without a word, Sam stands up and takes her with him. Lou grins at him, so happy she could get his engine running even now with all that's going on, and lets him get them into the room they usually take. Still, however, he seems busy-minded despite doing this for _her_. She wants this to be for _them_.

"Lay down," Lou tells him with a grin between kisses. She knows what she wants, as always.

Sam just grins slightly back, turning around and sitting on the edge of the mattress with Lou in his lap. He's happy to give her what she wants, as always.

He scoots back on the bed, Lou crawling over him like the predator she is, never letting their lips part. She quickly starts pulling at Sam's clothing, getting his flannel and t-shirt off faster than his brain can keep up.

Lou shoves him playfully in the chest and gets him lying on his back, their mouths separating for the first time since they got into their room. Lou's devious smile down at him as she sits atop his hips makes Sam so happy to be alive and where he is, even if he's concerned about walking away from their work for the time being.

"You know we should be trying to figure out Kevin's notes," Sam reminds her still, his hands gripping her thighs through her jeans as she works on the zipper of his pants.

"Lizzy and Dean are taking time off," Lou points out happily as she shuffles down his legs, pulling his pants with her. Sam used to feel odd at times when she's do this. Lou tends to get him naked far quicker than her own self and it used to make him a little uncomfortable, especially with her feral-style staring… but he's used to it now. In fact, he might even like it. _Really_ like it.

"So shouldn't we make up for their lost time?" Sam asks, Lou pulling his boots off one at a time before tugging his jeans and boxer briefs off.

Once he's completely nude, laid on their bed in all his glory, Lou looks him over while sighing. "I must have been some kinda saint in my previous life."

Sam huffs a laugh at her. "Come on, seriously. You really think we should be doing this right now?" Ok, so maybe he really is starting to second guess himself.

Lou grabs the bottom hem of her long-sleeved Henley and pulls it over head. "Dude. You just got put back together. I almost lost you in that institute. If you think we haven't earned a little time alone to be naked and sweaty and actually feel _good_ … then maybe you're still a little broken." She opens her jeans while looking him right in the eyes. She lowers out of her tight denim, ducking to the floor before standing up in just her bra and underwear.

Lace trim blue panties and a basic black bra that don't match at all have never looked better to Sam.

" _Are_ you still a little broken?" Lou asks him, kneeling slowly onto the bed in just her not-so-fancy, worn for two days straight lingerie before crawling up his height once more, this time moving slower. She lays her body on top of his, Sam's hands instantly on her sides and absorbing the feel of her small, tight form. Lou brings her lips an inch from his. "Or do you think we can take a couple minutes here to live a little since we're, you know, actually alive somehow?"

Lou can practically hear the imaginary sound of Sam snapping. He does that, denying the idea of sex when things are hectic. And then Lou always gets him to the point of no return, when he's more than down to indulge a little and escape with her into something far better than the usual crap that is their lives.

Sam grabs the sides of Lou's face and pulls her in, kissing her hard as he's already lost in the moment. And Lou's heart skips a beat, the connection she has with this one man taking her too easily into a place of pure, sensual need. And holy hell is her man beautifully sexy without trying or without even knowing it. How he can look in the mirror, see what he is, and not get that he is a heaping, intimidating pile of pure sex she'll never quite understand.

"Mm, my god you turn me on, Giant," Lou says against his lips, kissing him one more time before leaning her mouth down to his ear. "I love everything about this body."

"Is that so?" Sam smirks lightly, turning his head to catch the heat in her eyes.

"Mm-hmm," she nods a little, smiling with something sultry.

Sam weaves his hand into the hair at the back of her head, fisting it lightly as he pulls her lips into his hard. When she moans wantonly with the move, Sam's heart beats faster. He just loves this woman so much and the fact that she still wants him through the hallucinations, breakdowns, and disappointments of his past, some of which is so recent it was just days ago, blows his mind. She's still here proving she wants him and only him.

There's a reason Sam's still a believer. There's a reason he still prays at night. Lou proved to him that God does care, even if on the smallest level.

Lou's hands trails down the length of Sam's long arms, fingertips dancing lightly until she reaches his hands. She grips tightly to his wrists and brings them upwards, pressing them into the pillow above his head. She then looks down at him with a sultry grin and a playful demeanor.

"You're not allowed to move your arms," she tells him, her eyelashes fluttering as she explains her rules. "Not until I tell you."

San wrinkles his forehead for just a moment, processing her request. He didn't see it coming so he's taken a little off guard. Will he ever get used to being taken off guard while in bed with Lou at this point though? Probably not.

"Understand?" Lou lightly asks, no commanding tone in her voice at all. Sam nods slightly. She grins back.

From there Lou gets to work, having her way with him and making Sam absolutely crazy. Clearly Sam's been used to the very occasional one-night-stand that only really allows for the basics, maybe some fun like hair pulling or whatnot if he found himself with a kinkier chick… which was _very_ rarely ever the case. Lou knows Jess wasn't all that adventurous, their very young, few year relationship never culminating in a true exploration of what they could have done behind closed doors before demons took her away from him.

But now, after years of pain and sadness, Lou wants more for Sam. She wants _everything_ for Sam. He's too good a person, having sacrificed endlessly for the good of humanity, to not have his world expanded a little more in a good, even pleasurable, way. He's earned some good.

Lou doesn't mind being the one to provide that for him one bit.

Leaning over him, Lou starts at his hands. She lets him go from her grip and places a kiss on each of his inner wrists, a silent praise for his agreeing to listen. The way Sam sighs out quietly makes her realize then that he's already down for whatever she's doing.

Taking her time to fully enjoy the form that is luckily attached to the person she's emotionally and intellectually in awe of, Lou's mouth and fingertips make their way slowly. She presses another kiss to his left forearm, her lips light and teasing. Her tongue then makes a trail from his elbow down his bicep, her fingertips dragging lightly down his opposite arm as she moves.

Never in his life has Sam grown so needy and turned on so quickly. He watches closely to every move she makes, every expression that passes over her face, and every sound that comes from her throat as she praises his body from the top down. She's different than any other girl he's ever encountered. He's always been expected to take charge, his stature and strength making women just assume that's how he would act once alone. They always just take it on appearance that he'd make the moves first, direct how every sexual encounter goes… but not with Lou. She's a sexual beast, or at least that's what he called her once when Dean got him to open up one time about Lou in bed. He's still not sure how that happened. But that was the best label he could put on her. Sexual beast. She's calculating in her own way, always on the prowl, and always looking to get him exactly where she wanted him.

Dean admitted to being impressed and even a slight bit jealous of that. Sam stood a little taller that day.

"You're doing it again," Lou calls him out when she pauses at his lips, hovering there a moment with her eyes locked on his.

Her blue eyes search his expression, Sam taking just a second to appreciate the beauty he finds in those eyes, before asking, "What am I doing?"

"You're thinking," she says before slowly pressing her sinfully full lips to his, Sam responding eagerly without being aware that he's doing so. He loves those lips. When she pulls away slowly, Sam's head lifts slightly as he chases after her for more. She grins at that with a sexy little smirk before letting him know, "You need to shut down."

His head drops back down with a sigh. "With everything happening…."

"You need this," she cuts him off, the pads of the four fingers on her right hand pressed to his mouth to silence it. "And by now I think I know what you need."

"Oh do you?" Sam challenges with a small smile.

"Oh, I do," Lou returns with, sitting up tall. She reaches behind herself and unhooks her bra. She lets the straps slide down her arms and she makes a show of holding it over the side of the bed before dropping it.

"Yeah, uh… yeah, you're right," Sam almost comically responds when he sees her almost naked body sitting on his hips. His hands starts to reach for her breasts without invitation. "I need this."

Lightning fast, Lou once more grabs his wrists midway to her chest. She shoves them back down into the pillow over his head once more and she looks at him with a cocked eyebrow. "What did I say?"

Sam rolls his eyes and stares back at her, her face inches from his.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," Lou says with a lighter tone. "What did I say?"

Clenching his jaw for a quick second, Sam narrows his eyes. She wants to hear him say it. "I'm not allowed to move my arms. Not until you say I can."

Her smile turns bright. "Good boy, Sam."

He wants to grumble with her comment, it being so demeaning and lame, but he can't. Not when she presses those perfect lips to his neck as her still clothed hips grind down onto him once. Instead, he groans with want as the pressure on his already fully hard dick feels too good.

"Let me shut down that big…" she starts, lips pressing to the hollow of his throat. "Brilliant…." She kisses his collar bone and traces it with her tongue. "Overworked…." She lean up and kisses his temple. "Sexy brain of yours."

"My brain is sexy?" Sam challenges.

"Ooh, honey I love a smart man. You know this," she tells him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. When she does she ends up inadvertently getting her naked breasts in his face. Sam takes advantage, leaning up only a little (he has to keep his hands where she told him to after all) and letting his tongue flick a nipple quickly.

Lou jumps a little at the unexpected feeling, squeaking with delight.

Sam does it again before sucking the bud into his mouth, knowing how much Lou loves that.

Her hips make a slow circle and Sam has to moan a little more, desperate for the friction. Lou on top of him like this, naked and turning him on… he always needs more and more and even more when she gets him going. He's never had a girl that can do that to him before her or since.

"Ooh, mm," Lou buzzes quietly before moving down his body, taking her breasts away. She comes level to his face again, licking his lips upwards just once playfully. "No, no, Giant. Relax."

Sam's face shows the tension that request causes him. He's always so tightly wound. Relaxing isn't easy for him.

"I know," Lou nods slowly a couple times, kissing him deeply after. She slides her tongue against his and feels him respond, knowing it'll take work but she can get him to forget just for a little bit. All her life, from the moment she discovered sexual acts of any kind, she knew how to shut her brain off and focus on the pleasure. She's rare for that ability, Lou knows that, and clearly Sam isn't exactly like her in this department. "I know how hard it is for you to do that."

When she tells him this without an ounce of putdown, Sam melts back into the mattress a little. She understands him. He then smirks a little. "How can I? I can't even trust you to not pull some, uh… unwelcomed surprises on me."

She knows what he means. "I won't."

"Yeah, right…."

"I won't," she repeats, a smile on her face as she grabs one hand of his off the pillow. She moves his hand into a fist, only extending his index finger. She then traces an X over her chest to the left side with the pad of his fingertip. "Cross my heart. Promise."

Sam watches her then lean down a bit as she bring his hand upwards, his digit disappearing into her warm mouth as she sucks lightly on it. His expression lightens as his eyes are glue, entranced by her ability to completely enrapture him with something so simple.

When Sam sighs hard, she grins and pulls his finger out of her mouth slowly, her plump lips smacking when she extricates it fully. Lou then presses his hand back into the pillow above his head.

"Close your eyes, handsome," she easily directs, gently wiping a hand down his face. She starts at his forehead, then travels over his eyes until his lids close. "Keep your hands there until I tell you. And just _feel_." She lightly touches his lips with the pads of her fingers before kissing them once.

Sam breathes in deep and lets it out, trying to shut down his hard drive and get comfortable. The task suddenly gets easier when he feels Lou's entire body lay down over his. Her legs weave and tangle with his, her small hands hold his jaw lightly,

She moves slow and loving, something he never saw coming. She ditches the attack. She loses the hard, fast drive she has often. Instead, there's something sensual and adoring there. She's baring herself, and not just her skin. It's her soul, all of her, and Sam's one of the very few that gets to know this side. It's suddenly beautiful and very real, their connection stronger than ever.

Lou travels down his body little by little, letting her mouth and fingertips move lower and lower in a pattern-less way. His skin erupts in goosebumps at every single touch and he can feel himself slipping under, pushing the Leviathan and research and world ending madness away just like she wanted him to. How could he ever focus on anything else when Lou, his little petite _perfect_ Lou, does everything she can to make his life better?

And Lou can already feel his form relaxing into the bed, melting with the turned on state she's getting him into. With pride she continues, her tongue trailing down his right hip, following the line of muscle that's leading her exactly where she needs to be.

"Oh god." It's a quiet, whispered appreciation but Lou catches it as she lets her tongue lightly dance along his long length.

Success.

"Lou," Sam says her name and his arms twitch, needing to reach down into her hair as he feels her hand wrap around him and her mouth eventually envelope him inch by slow inch. He knows she gets off on that, his hands woven into long blonde hair as she works him over. She once told him it's a sign that she's doing 'a fucking porn star-worth blow job' as she put it but she told him no hands this time. He shows much self-restraint and keeps his hands away.

"I love this dick," Lou tells him, tongue once more running his length as she holds him upright. She hears him moan at her words, spurring her on to keep talking. "Love it so fucking much."

She slides him down her throat as far as he can go and Sam pops his eyes open, wanting to see. He watches her big, plump lips release him and he knows there can't be a more sexy sight in the damn world.

Lou releases his dick with a pop, eyes locked on his. "I love what it does to me. I love how hard it gets for me." Her tongue traces his length. "I love that you always know how to use it."

"Let me," Sam asks of her, wanting to give her that. He'd do anything after how worked up she's gotten him.

She grins playfully and sits up, crawling up his form with a clear excitement bordering on giddy. She doesn't speak, just straddles his hips and holds him upright once more. Sam watches intently, eyes glazed with lust as she pulls her panties to the side and lowers onto him, it easy with how wet Lou already is for him.

With Sam's voice groaning, Lou pants out a few hard breaths, seating him fully inside of her before saying, "Fuck yeah."

"Oh my god," Sam says to her, hands fisted with the itch to move and grab her.

"Sam, fuck," Lou moans out, voice louder than it should be with a full house. "Love this dick."

Her hips roll once after a moment of pause. Sam moans again, his arms twitching once more. Lou doesn't miss it.

"You want to touch me, don't you?" she taunts a little, leaning down over him with hands to his chest.

"Yes," Sam so easily admits, watching her closely for signs that she's ready to let him have his limbs back.

"It's killing you, isn't it?" she smirks with pride, gloating as she leans back to grip his thighs behind her. She starts to rotate her hips in perfect circles, giving him such a spectacular view of everything that his brain starts to feel overloaded with stimulation. "You want to feel me?"

"Yes. Lou," Sam tries, sounding almost like he's pleading.

"Tell me it's mine," she smiles as her brow wrinkles a bit in pleasure. He just feels so good. "Tell me I own this dick and you can do whatever you want."

Sam wants to fuck her senseless at this point, the sensations she's created and now the display she's giving just pushing him further and further, but let her hear him say she owns his manhood like that? That's too much.

"Don't be stubborn," Lou rolls her eyes before leaning down over him, her mouth to his neck. She kisses his skin over and over, it damp with a light sweat, as she tells him, "You already own this pussy."

He lets out a true moan of desperate need at that.

"It's all yours, Giant," she speaks low and sultry, her breath ragged as she fucks herself onto him over and over, pace swiftly picking up. "I don't want anyone in there but you. You fuck me so good…."

"Let me," Sam growls, the desire to fuck her too strong. She's lucky he listens so quickly and strongly to directions, something Sam likes to pretend isn't true due to the correlation it probably has with daddy issues.

"Say it," Lou taunts back a little.

"My dick is yours," Sam blurts out as fast as he can.

"Then fuck me good with it. Touch me."

Lightning fast, Sam is sitting up, arms around her form as he pulls her in tightly to his chest. He flips them completely, his movements sharp with overrun starvation for this woman and hauls her ankles up to his shoulders. He frantically grabs the sides of her panties and starts pulling jerkily with frenzy. When they're gone he pushes back into her without pause. Leaning over her, ankles once more on his shoulders, Sam bends her in half as his hips start to snap with force.

"Yes!" Lou moans out like an adult film professional when he lets loose. She always loved how Sam kept this version of himself buried in there. It was a prize under all the stuffy and awkward grace that is Sam in public. In reality, he's neither stuffy nor awkward. Sam is that caveman she always craved, powerful and carnivorous. Lou is quite dominant, yes… but there's no rule that she can't love being taken hard and fast by a far bigger man that could easily throw her around and just steal what he wants from her. He's strong and commanding and, when he wants to be, intimidating as all hell. That's purely sexy to Lou. "Harder, Sam. Come on. Fuck me!"

Propped up on one arm, Sam slaps his hand down on her ass cheek under her as he has it lifted with their position. He then grabs hard, finger tips gripping tightly.

"Oh my god, you're fucking good," Lou rushes out, awe in her tone as she pulls him in by the neck with one hand, her body bent in half completely. Her other hand reaches between them and finds her clit, needing to get off. "Make me come, Sam."

Sam lets the slightest of smiles tug at his lips before he kisses her hard, hips moving in a brutal pace now. Lou hums sheer enjoyment against his mouth and he knows she's already a goner. Which is good. He's barely holding on after all she put him through.

"Oh… god damn," Lou moans, her fingernails biting into his neck when she starts to tense up. "Giant… fuck. Oh my god. Sam…."

She screams out, louder than she's allowed herself to be in so long, and Sam sighs with relief that it's over. He got her there and just in time. He wasn't holding out much longer.

The feel of her contracting, her voice loud and saying his name, the heat of her skin, the scent of may bells that's always on her… it's too good. All of it.

Sam lets himself go once he knows she's fully satisfied. This wasn't a multiple orgasm encounter, not for her, not this time. He'll get her back next time. He knows it. For now he can just feel the stress draining out of him, leaving behind a sated and, shockingly, relaxed man.

When they come down, the sound of panting filling the room, they stay tangled up for a moment. Recuperation time is needed after that, the force of their need for each other having gotten stronger than either was ready for. It was meant to be a quick, blow-off-some-steam encounter. This was bigger.

"I'll say it again," Lou says, looking up at him with still bent in half. "I love that dick."

Sam huffs a laugh and backs away, letting her free of the position they were in. He then flops down on his back next to her and reaches for the box of tissues by the nightstand.

"Thanks," Lou smiles, sighing with relief when he offers the box. She takes a tissue and cleans up as he does the same, still talking. "Fuck me, I really needed that."

"Same here," Sam nods, truly meaning it. "I feel better."

"Me too," Lou nods, tossing her used tissue into the trash can next to her side of the bed.

Sam balls up his own tissue in his hand and just lays there, looking at the wooden ceiling of the cabin. His heart is lighter yet filled at the same damn time and he still can't believe he's where he is right now. He's with a sex crazed blonde bombshell badass. He's with exactly what he always assumed he'd never want in a woman… yet, now that he's here, any other kind of woman seems completely wrong for him.

Turning his head on the pillow, Sam peers to his side. Lou looks back right away and lifts her eyebrows to silently ask what he wants.

He meant to say he loves her deeply, but what comes out is, "I love that pussy in return, by the way."

Lou grins wide and lets go of an airy laugh, the kind hunters should never have the luxury of having. Pressing a hand over her eyes, she tells him blindly, "What have I done to you!?"

Laughing back, Sam reaches for her and pulls her in tightly, resting there for a quick extra stolen second or two alone. He didn't actually say the words, but he knows she gets it.

"Back to work?" Sam asks.

"Ugh!" Lou complains loudly in his hold.

"Come on," Sam says and loosens his hold, pushing her lightly to the opposite edge of the bed to get out.

"Fine!" Lou bitches like a teenager. "I guess I got what I wanted anyways…."

* * *

 


	4. A Plan in Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed many people didn't comment on the last chapter. This is not a complaint! I am not offended or seeking out comments! The only concern I have is that an email notification for chapter 3 never went out and therefore some of you may have not known it was put out. If you didn't read 3, please read that first. That's all! Enjoy!

* * *

Inhaling evenly, Lizzy slowly wakes up easily and to nothing in particular. When she opens her eyes, blinking away the restful sleep, she lifts her head to look around the bedroom while lying on her stomach.

That's right. Rufus' cabin.

She's a little sad to see that her small bit of normalcy disappeared so quickly. She grew accustomed to waking up, feeding Sammy and spending the morning hours with him before heading to work. No hunting. No blood. No fear… for the most part. It wasn't all that bad. But Cass is awake and they had to ditch town. That glimpse into the slightly domestic life is gone.

It'll be fine, though. She'll trade her crap job and quiet calm for an awake Castiel any day.

When she searches the room she realizes Sammy isn't with her. A flash of panic hits. The last she remembers is changing his diaper and then laying down next to him as he looked a little sleepy. Seems like she was actually the sleepy one.

The diaper bag and all its supplies are repacked, however, so she knows someone must have found her up there with him and cleaned up. She has a sneaking suspicion as to who that was.

She smiles. Dean. Time to go find her boys.

"Hey," Lizzy says to Lou and Sam once she makes her way to the bottom floor. They sit at the kitchen table, laptops open and clicking away. They have oddly placed grins on their faces, making her suspicious.

"Welcome back," Lou says lightly, eyes glued to her screen. Her body is turned ever so slightly towards Sam and Lizzy doesn't miss it.

"What's going on?"

"Just… sitting here, trying to decipher what Kevin wrote," Sam easily tells her.

Lizzy doesn't let the slight stutter in his voice go. She knows him far too well at this point. "That's all?" she curiously wonders.

Sam nods innocently.

"You've just been sitting here for a few hours… _researching_?" Lizzy narrows her eyes, thinking she suddenly smells the scent of lies and sex in the air.

"Yeah… yeah," Sam repeats with a heightened voice, giving him away to Lizzy. "What else would we be doing?"

Lizzy peeks at Lou and catches her eye roll. Lou knows they're busted.

"Alright, twitchy. Take it easy," Lizzy laughs at Sam. "Hope it was fun." She winks at him.

Sam just clears his throat and squirms a little in his seat. "Can you grab me Kevin's notes?" Sam asks, looking to move on.

Lizzy shakes her head and shrugs. "I don't have them."

"Dean does," he tells her and points to the couch.

When Lizzy heads that way to get the notes for Sam, she finds Dean on the couch as expected.

She pauses there for a moment when she gets a good eyeful of his situation. Her heart nearly bursts as she takes in Dean's passed out form stretched across the couch on his back, boot-clad feet propped on one of the furniture arms and his head on the other. The open notebook in need is laying on his upper chest with a hand clutching it still. Laid out on his stomach with his head on Dean's hip and his feet practically in Dean's face, is a resting Sammy. They both fell asleep.

Lizzy quietly walks to the coffee table and takes a seat on it while facing her boys. She presses a hand to her mouth and swallows hard. This is her family. She and Dean figured it out (with help, of course) and now they're together. Sammy gets his dad back, Lizzy gets her husband back, and they're a unit again. No fighting. Just love and simplicity at its core and she knows deep down that it'll always be that way now. They'll never let this break again.

"Lizzy?" Sam calls over when he realizes she's not coming back.

"Shh!" Lizzy calls out as she pulls her phone from her back pocket. She quickly snaps a picture of the peaceful and perfect scene in front of her as she never wants to forget it. Sammy's face squished up against Dean's flannel shirt, Dean's mouth open as his head's tilted back, the way Dean's hand rests on his little boy's back even when unconscious… she's in love all over again with her family. And she's once more madly in love with her husband.

With a soft grin on her face, Lizzy gets up and gets to work. She tries to gently pry Dean's fingers off the notebook without waking him but being the easily ruffled hunter that he is it doesn't work.

"Hm!" Dean sharply hums as he wakes, his right hand tightening on the notebook and his left grabbing a handful of Sammy's t-shirt when he's on alert right away.

"It's only me," Lizzy quietly laughs at him as she takes the notebook. "Go back to sleep."

"Hey," he groggily greets when he realizes it is Lizzy, a drowsy smile spreading slowly across his face. "What're you doing?"

"Sam wanted to look at Kevin's notes."

"Right… right." He sniffles and rubs his face with his now free hand. "I'm up."

"Dean, just sleep," Lizzy tells him, pushing his shoulder down when he moves to sit up. "Sammy's, like, seriously out. Don't mess with a good thing."

Dean looks down at himself and is greeted with a face full of two little feet. "Ugh," he groans. He then begins to move again.

"Dean, no…" Lizzy starts to complain, just wanting Sammy to sleep off the excitement he's been through.

"I got this. Relax," Dean tells her, his voice only slightly annoyed. He moves smoothly, never jostling Sammy more than absolutely necessary. After a few moments he has a still knocked out Sammy in his arms, the little boy's head over his shoulder with a squished cheek and some very lax limbs. Dean then smirks knowingly at his wife. "See? What'd I say?"

"Show off," she rolls her eyes and stands up, walking back for the kitchen table with Dean following.

"Here," Lizzy hands over the notes.

"Alright, so… Lou and I have been at this for a few hours now…."

" _Sure_ you have," Lizzy smirks, proud of her quick catch.

Sam ignores her completely. "And it doesn't seem like there's much information out there on Word of God tablets and prophets that can read them."

"Correction, there's _zero_ information on them," Lou jumps in there with elbows on the table, rubbing her face with fatigue. "If neither of us can find anything… then trust us, there's nothing."

"You two _are_ the nerds," Dean nods, agreeing in his own way. "And I have read that notebook more times than the Playboy I found in Dad's duffel and it isn't making any more sense than the first time I read it."

Sam narrows his eyes. "Anna Nicole?"

Dean slickly smirks with the lovely memory. "Anna Nicole," he confirms. "Oh the good. They die young, huh?"

Sam just grins awkwardly at the memory of that magazine.

"Well, we could read until our eyes bleed and get nothing… or we could break it down the notes line by line until we figure out what it all means," Lou tells them, her mind in full work mode. She slides the notebook over to herself and she flips it open. She points to the first line. "Hm… cut off the head and the body will flounder…." Lou then realizes that Sam's got a weird, half-smile on his face while he stares at her. "What?"

Sam blinks awkwardly when she surprises him with the question. "What, what?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Lou asks with paranoia.

"Like what?"

Lizzy huffs a silent laugh at that as Dean just rolls his eyes with impatience.

"Like… I don't know. Just stop it."

"Jesus, sorry," Sam holds his hands out to her.

Lou's wrinkled expression stays on him for a moment longer.

Sam sighs. "Alright, I… maybe I just… you got in the zone."

"Ok…."

"That's all," Sam shrugs it off.

Lou narrows her eyes at him. "Did you just get turned on by me doing research?"

"Alright," Dean cuts in there and steps closer to the table. "Work now, weirdo nerd-foreplay later. What's that mean? Cut off the head and the body will flounder. The head is Dick, right?"

"I'd say so," Sam nods slightly, moving past the moment that put a slight red flush on his cheeks for getting caught admiring Lou in her element. Yes, she's a badass that can fight and she's a damn near expert with a gun, but when she's behind a computer and she's flexing her mental muscles there's something extremely appealing about her, besides the way she bites her lip while concentrating as she does that all the time when in the midst of more sexy moments too. Sam can't exactly put his finger on it as to why but it does it to him every time.

"So, bottom line is, we go grab the stuff," Dean says, pointing to the next few lines that describe the weapon instructions. "And we mix ourselves a weapon. End of story." Dean's eyes light up at the idea of finishing all this once and for all.

"I'm down!" Lou lights up with a grin. "I'd love nothing more than to kill big daddy Leviathan. Only problem is, we kill Dick… then what?"

"What do you mean?" Dean asks her, not seeing an issue with killing Dick Roman.

"She means that we're all for killing Dick, I think that's safe to say," Sam gets it. "But… what then? I mean, what about the rest of the Leviathan? What, are they gonna just... drop dead?"

"I don't know, maybe," Dean brushes it off.

"Maybe!?" Sam disbelieve his nonchalance. "Maybe is good enough for you right now?"

"Maybe is the only game in town," Lizzy reminds him and she lets out a long exhale, sounding bone-deep tired. "I don't want to run anymore. I don't want to keep separating and having to have… fried blonde hair." She gestures to her ponytail, the fake, bottle blonde still not her thing. "I want my name back. And I want Sammy and all of us off the Levi radar. If killing Dick gets us even a little bit closer then… I say off with his head. One problem at a time."

Dean looks quickly at Lizzy and then to the two at the table. "What she said." He nudges his head in Lizzy's direction, on her side completely.

Sam looks down at the notes for a second before back up at Dean, knowing if he can sway one person it would be his brother. "I get it. And I want to have a more stable life without copies of me Dillinger-ing banks too but it's not a crazy idea to try and figure out what the catch is before we go crashing the gate."

Dean opens his mouth to answer but gets interrupted by the ghost that decides to make an appearance in the cabin, blinking in and looking exhausted.

"Hey Bobby," Lizzy smiles warmly, her nerves still on edge every time he's around yet she's always glad to see him.

"How you feeling?" Dean asks right away, also seeing the tired appearance of their old friend. The room all turns their eyes to him.

"Stronger than ever," Bobby answers, it being slightly menacing the way he says it despite his look. "Now, while you all have been chasing your tails I've been thinking on that weapon."

"Maybe you should take it down a notch, Bobby," Lou suggests, catching the absentminded nod Dean makes with his agreement.

"What's that?" Bobby asks her, already looking slightly pissed off.

"Just, you know… take a second. Because you look like stomped on crap," Lou spells it. "You worry us sometimes. Right now, you look tired as all hell. You gotta watch yourself and make sure you don't…." She stops there, knowing she could set him off with her words. The angry look she gets from Lizzy confirms that she should have kept her mouth shut.

"I'm in the veil," he grits out, eyes narrowed at Lou the way he always did when she'd anger him. "My Brad Pitt days are over. And I see that you still haven't quite learned how to mind your P's and Q's."

"That's my charm," she winks at him and smiles, joking like she used to with him. She can see him visibly relax just a touch but it's enough.

"You're funny as ever. Now, the kid says that the only way to kill Leviathan is with a bone washed in the three bloods of the fallen. The bone's got to be from a human as light and good as the Leviathan are hungry and dark."

"Child's play," Dean rolls his eyes.

"The rest is doable, and doable now. You've already got the fallen angel blood. Now, next up is blood from the ruler of fallen humanity. Now, the best I can tell, that's Crowley. Numero tres is the father of fallen beasts."

"Which means...?" Sam asks.

"You got to bleed an Alpha," Bobby answers with certainty.

"But they're all dead. I mean, every one we found, we rounded up for Crowley, and then Cass whammied them all," Dean recalls, all while bouncing Sammy as he starts to stir a little with all the voices around him.

"Well, then, make this Cass' problem, too," Bobby returns with a sharp bite.

"Cass… he's not really in the problem-solving mode right now, Bobby," Lizzy explains calmly, the angel off his rocker for sure.

"Then Crowley!" Bobby yells when the anger and frustration of being questioned so much gets to him.

"Alright, alright," Dean says in a quiet, kind tone as he watches Sammy move around in his hold and start to wake up with the shouting. He runs his hand down the back of his head and bounces him some more. "We get it."

" _Do you_?!" Bobby shouts at him and this one makes Sammy flinch. At the same time a light by the couch bursts and scatters glass shards around the floor.

Sammy instantly starts to cry.

"Balls," Bobby says the second he realizes what he's done. He made his grandkid cry all because he got mad over… what? His kids trying to question him and make sure they don't screw the pooch on one of the biggest pieces of evil shit they've ever gone up against? What did he just do?

"Ok, we're just gonna get outta the room for a second," Dean says lightly but his face contradicts his nice and easy tone. He gives Bobby a look of disappointment and anger before heading for the stairs to their bedroom.

Bobby's shoulder's dropping, he just stares at Lizzy as Dean leaves. "I'm sorry," he immediately blurts out.

"I know you are," she nods. "But this is exactly what we worry about with you. You can't let yourself get so pissed so fast. You know where that road leads."

Bobby looks around the room with guilt so heavy it hurts to look at the faces staring back. "I'm just sayin', I have faith that you kids will figure it out." He then eyes Lizzy, the worrywart of the group. "Relax. I'm fine. Just got a little carried away."

She nods slightly. "Well, we know what we have to do. Now we need to make a plan on how to get it all done."

Bobby just nods once and disappears.

The second he does Lizzy rubs her face with stress. "We need to figure out what to do with him."

"Like you said, one problem at a time, right?" Sam reminds her, using her own words against her.

"Right," she agrees, but her gnawing concern gets worse and worse.

* * *

 "Alright, ok," Dean keeps calmly speaking to Sammy as the boy continues to cry in his arms. "I know, kid. I get it."

He really does. Bobby even scared him a bit with his angry response. The outburst was loud and powerful. The change is happening, from a well-intentioned ghost to an angry spirit.

"Look, he didn't mean it, ok?" Dean tells his son with a kind voice, making excuses for Bobby not much unlike he did for his own father to Sam their whole lives. "He's just trying to help."

Sammy wails in his ear and Dean brings a hand to the back of his head, his hair really starting to grow in now. He's looking more and more like a child instead of a baby. It's crazy and it's happening too fast.

"I'm sorry, Sammy," Dean apologizes when his heavy heart gets the best of him. "It's all too much. You've seen more than most people have their whole lives and you haven't even had your first birthday yet. It's not fair, man. And I'm sorry you're stuck with parents that've put you in this life."

He sighs heavily when Sammy finally calms down a bit, still fussy and crying but his cheek is once more pressed to Dean's shoulder with exhaustion and need for comfort. Hearing Dean's voice talk to him is soothing, comforting to know he's with someone he trusts fully.

"Angel's getting stabbed, Cass flying in and out, ghost grandparents… it's too much, man," Dean says, not sure if he's talking to Sammy or himself at this point. He leans his head down until his cheek is against Sammy's head. "It's all too much…." His voice gets thick, ready to crack with need to cry. He just hates what this world and what his life is doing to his own son. Dean isn't an emotional person but when it comes to Sammy… all bets are off and he's a marshmallow deep down.

"But he's a tough one. He can hack it."

Dean turns towards the door and watches Bobby's form flash a bit before solidly appearing in the room.

"Oh, good. You're using your indoor voice again," Dean snaps at Bobby, still unnerved by his previous actions.

"Don't sass me, boy," Bobby says without an ounce of upset as he watches Sammy lay limply in Dean's arms, his nose a little runny and his breathing still hitching a bit now and then as he calms. He feels terribly right away. "I came to apologize to my grandkid for being a bit of a dick."

"Maybe you should apologize to my blown eardrums then," Dean dryly jokes. "This dude's voice is piercing."

"He's got lungs on him, that's for sure," Bobby smiles a little, fondly looking at Sammy. He loves that little guy more than he was ever prepared to, even despite knowing how screwed he was from the second Lizzy told him she was pregnant. He loves his hunting kids, that's not a question, but his adoptive grandson? He could never have gotten himself ready for the level of love he'd feel for him. And still feels for him. "I shouldn't have let myself get that angry."

Dean blinks slowly as he chooses his words carefully. "We're all a little worried about that. About you keeping this in check and not going Darth Bobby."

He fights it hard when the fire starts to burn again at the accusation but he fights it as hard as he can. Instead, he goes truthful. "Me too."

Dean's surprised face looks back at him and Bobby decides to keep talking, hoping it'll help.

"It's getting… really hard to stay even. To not rage out and get my revenge." It's when he sees the pain and deep concern all over Dean that he changes his mind. He's always had too much on his plate and Bobby can't put more on it. "But I'm getting better at keeping it in check. I have moments but… nothing I can't handle."

"That sounds like a load of crap," Dean instantly calls him out.

"You kids got enough to worry about," Bobby tells him. "You don't need me making anything worse."

"That's not it," Dean tells him as he sits at the edge of the bed with Sammy slowly passing out once more from exhaustion. "It's… we owe you everything, Bobby. You've always been there for us, all of us… and this is _not_ what we want for you."

"You want me to head upstairs and live out my days alone, not helping out…."

"No," Dean stops him. "No, we want you here. _Alive_. But we can't have that so the next best thing is to head to your personal dream life and go get your toes done in a Korean joint with Tori Spelling."

When Dean smirks knowingly Bobby shakes his head, trying to hide his smile at that.

"We don't want you turning vengeful and not having a way back," Dean keeps explaining. "And I know what that means. We won't see you anymore. But… I'm willing to sacrifice that as long as you, for once, get to go be happy."

Bobby's silent with that.

"Plus, with all you know… just haul ass up there and find Ash. He'll get you to Karen. Don't you wanna see her again?"

The gruff man's expression completely melts at the mention of his wife, the woman he hasn't seen in so long.

"I know that if I lost L… I'd be willing to ditch a lot of people to get to her again," Dean admits. "We'd understand."

"Understand what?"

"That you're not dropping us. We would never look at it like that. Just move on, Bobby. We won't be pissed. Sad, maybe… but definitely not pissed."

Bobby just nods and keeps quiet. He knows how right Dean is, the boy absolutely looking at the situation the right way and being level headed. Years and years of keeping this kid in line and kicking his ass when needed and he's turned out to be a good man… whether he knows it or not.

But Sammy. If he leaves now, while Sammy's so young, the little boy will never remember him. He'll have no memories of his surrogate grandfather that thought the world of him. He can't stand that thought.

"You should put him to bed," Bobby changes subjects. "He's just gonna pass out soon. That little guy gets heavy awfully fast."

"Nah," Dean brushes off, allowing Bobby to move on. "I finally get to see him so he's staying put. Tired arms be damned."

Bobby smiles slightly at that. "That'a boy," he says fondly before blinking out once more, needing to rest up for when he'll be needed next.

* * *

 "Whoa… what's all this?" Dean asks the group huddled around the kitchen table. He sees a gold bowl of herbs and several lit candles arranged in a way he knows all too well. He walks over with Sammy still sleeping on his shoulder, his body slipped down a bit over time. "Who we inviting to dinner?"

"Crowley," Lizzy answers with a wide-eyed expression.

"What!? With Sammy here!?" he asks, a little outraged that they'd ever do such a thing. "No fucking way!"

"Dude, what do you take us for?" Lou gets upset at the assumption. "We're waiting for you and Lizard to hightail it out of here with Sammy in tow."

"To where?"

"To a convent," Sam answers, finishing up a devil's trap on the cabin floor to ensure Lou and his safety once Crowley arrives. "Lizzy has the address ready to go."

"What's at a convent?"

"Good people," Lizzy smiles. "I'll explain in the car. Go grab your bag and Sammy's stuff," she tells him, taking the sleeping child from his arms. "I'll get him in the car seat and we can head out far away from here and the King of Hell."

Dean doesn't move yet, instead he focuses on Sam. "So, what? You're just gonna summon Crowley on your own?"

"Not alone," Sam simply answers, walking over to Lou where she stands next to the table, knife in hand.

"Just the two of you?" Dean comments. "Don't you think I should stay for back up?"

"Two hunters are enough," Lou reminds him.

Dean still doesn't move, uncomfortable. "Lou, you've been out for a while. This isn't some easy milk run, it's _Crowley_."

"Thanks for the reminder of my incompetence but I think I'll be fine," she fires right back and slices her palm, letting her blood drip into the gold bowl for the spell. "I'm ready to get back to it, ok? And you need to go with Lizzy in case she and Sammy run into anything."

"Are we expecting to run into anything?" Dean asks Lizzy.

"Not really," she answers back easily.

Dean's eyes return to Sam. "Fine. I'll stay here then, make sure that King Douche is under control."

Sam eyes him hard. "What the hell are you worried about? We can handle this."

Staying quiet, Dean can't answer that. He knows they're fine on their own but separating? Leaving Sam with Crowley? "This doesn't feel right."

Sam huffs a laugh. "I get it, man. We've been out there just us for a while now…."

"That's not it…" Dean clearly lies and shifts on his feet, arms folding over his chest.

"And you feel weird about separating," Sam keeps going, knowing he's right. He knows Dean all too well and he could see the protective instinct coming a mile away. "But the Sam you need to watch over isn't me this time. And Lou's awesome, you know this."

Dean watches the proud smile makes its way across Lou's face as she wraps up her hand once enough blood has joined the bowl.

Shit. "Fine. But if you run into _anything_ …."

"Speed dial 1, man," Sam raises his phone. "You'll hear from us the second anything goes south."

Gritting his teeth and nodding, Dean realizes he has to leave.

"Hot Shot, get moving," Lizzy calls over to him. When he turns to her she's grinning warmly as she slowly shifts their sleeping son into her arms. "Family road trip."

Now that didn't sound so bad. Family road trip. The three of them sticking together, just like they agreed to. "Alright. Going."

Dean heads up to the second floor to quickly grab their bags and Lizzy sighs. "That was less of a fight than I was ready for." She raises her eyebrows at Sam and she slowly shifts Sammy in her arms without waking him.

"No kidding," he smirks a little.

"Maybe he's finally cutting the cord," Lou comments with a grin.

Sam looks at her funny. "That's a mother thing…."

"I know what I said," Lou stands by her comment and Sam gives her a huff.

"Be nice."

"I'm the nicest," Lou says without obviously believing it and she nudges Sam with her elbow.

"Let's bounce," Dean says to Lizzy when he gets down the stairs, four bags over his shoulders. "Jesus. Having a kid really makes this whole travelling thing suck, doesn't it?"

"You'll get used to it," Lizzy laughs it off, having done this plenty of times by now. "Be careful, you two."

"We won't," Lou grins.

Lizzy walks right for her. "You will if you know what's good for you." She leans Sammy's sleeping face into Lou.

Lou kisses his cheek. "His schedule's all fucked up. He'll be hungry in about an hour."

"Yeah, I know," Lizzy huffs a laugh at Lou's mothering, the mothering she denies doing all the time. The kind of mothering she just made fun of Dean for just moments ago. "Love you." She kisses Lou's cheek, Lou doing the same.

"Watch your ass," Lou point at her.

"Will do. Bye, Uncle Sam," Lizzy says and does the same to Sam. The tall man hugs her and Sammy at the same time.

"It was good seeing you," he jokes lightly, still getting used to saying goodbyes like this. He and Dean usually just leave places, jokes or warnings their only parting words.

"For all of a couple hours, right?" Lizzy laughs, their lives having been so separate as of late. She misses her good friend Sam sometimes. "Call us!"

"Seriously," Dean nods in agreement before shutting the cabin door behind him after Lizzy leaves first.

Sam and Lou both let out a solid exhale. Lou looks up at him. "Give it a few minutes?"

"Yeah," Sam nods. "Just make sure they're out of sight first."

Lou nods and walks for the window, watching Lizzy do her best to strap Sammy into his car seat without waking him. When he starts to stir she pauses and Dean marches over to help her if he can.

"It's still so fucking weird," Lou says to Sam without looking over.

"What is?" Sam asks, sitting into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"That," she points to the family outside and looks at Sam. "Those two having a kid, being all parent-y. It's… I don't know. Just weird." When she peers back out the window she can feel something deep within her stirring. When Sammy's in his seat, still passed right out, she watches Lizzy smile warmly up at Dean before bringing her arms around his waist. She says something, if Lou had to guess what it's probably assurances that leaving Sam and Lou to this task is a good idea, before Dean ducks down and kisses her. It's domestic as hell and all too sweet, the scene that of puke-inducing cuteness… but instead of getting nauseous like usual Lou feels something else. Something she's willing to denying all access to right now because now is not the time. But it's there. It's want. It's longing.

"Dean being a dad… never thought I'd see the day either," Sam huffs a laugh of disbelief and it takes Lou out of the moment in her head. "I'm glad it happened but… was starting to think it wasn't gonna, you know?"

"I know." She turns away from the driveway and looks at him, her eyes far away as she thinks it over. "But I figured Lizzy would have a kid. Kids, actually."

"She did want more," Sam sadly responds, remembering speaking of that with her when she was pregnant, wanting siblings for Sammy. So much for that.

"I just… I never thought she'd do it while in the life, you know?" Lou comments, watching again as Dean starts the engine of the stolen car and makes his way down the driveway.

"Well… neither did she," Sam reminds her. "That was her nightmare when it first happened. It was everything she never wanted."

"I know." Once the taillights are no longer visible she walks away from the window and heads for Sam.

She keeps getting like this, so worried about the future of her sister and nephew. This world is not for Lizzy. Maybe for a short while it was, she became a badass hunter for a few years there, but when she met Dean everything changed. Lizzy was reminded of love and possibility. She wanted a life, a real one, and Lou has always wanted that for her... but nowadays, with the example set by Lizzy and Sammy, does she want that for herself too? Now that she knows it's possible?

What is her head doing to her right now?

Plopping into his lap, Lou sits on Sam's thigh and tucks her head into his neck. Unsure of what brought this oddly sullen mood on, Sam just pulls an arm around her.

"What's this?" Sam asks her.

"I don't know," Lou admits. "Just… damn it. I really don't know."

Sam's face scrunches a bit in confusion. "Is it everything going on right now?"

"Probably." Lou shrugs.

"Does it have anything to do with what Cass said to us earlier?" Sam takes a shot at it, knowing the types of things that bother her. Serious relationships and her involvement in them definitely do that to her.

"What… the bond thing he mentioned? About us?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Nah, that doesn't bother me."

"You sure?" he laughs a little at her without an ounce of a patronizing tone.

"Yeah… well, no… but I'm already aware of how deep I'm in it with you." She looks up at him. "I don't freak out about it anymore. I'm slowly accepting it. I know I'm stuck with you so just deal with it, right?"

"Wow," Sam laughs a little with how she made it sound. "Don't be so enthused to be _stuck with me_."

"Oh, god. No…." she tries to make up for her terrible way of putting it.

"No, no," Sam denies her apology. "I see now that I'm just an unfortunate thing that happened to you."

"Stop it…."

"At least I know how you see it now," Sam smirks but then groans as she shoves him in the chest maybe a little harder than most would when joking around.

"Cut the shit," Lou gets slightly annoyed before cuddling back into him. "You know I love you so shut up."

"Still just as sweet as the day I met you," Sam comments and braces for another hit that never comes.

Instead she inhales loudly and deeply exhales. "And there's something I need to say sorry for."

"What's that?"

"That I'm always a pain in the ass. And rude." She gives him an apologetic face. "My mom always told me it's not what you say, it's how you say it. I never say anything right and I never learned how to. Just comes out bitchy."

"Lou, you've been through a lot," Sam tells her, sincerity in his tone. "Your dad… doing what he did to your mom. Losing your parents. Purgatory. I'm not expecting you to be pleasant all the time. You should be, I don't know, hardened by all you've seen."

"Doesn't mean I should act that way towards you, though," she tells him, her blue eyes bright yet sad. "I should be nicer to you. You treat me so well and I… I'm rude."

"You're not rude."

"I'm a little rude."

Sam thinks a second as she stares at him expectantly. "Alright, a little rude. Sometimes."

"And I don't want to be that person anymore," Lou tells him. "I've been back damn near a year. Time to… adjust. And stop being so… whatever I've been."

"I'm not looking for you to change, Lou," Sam reminds her. "I'm happy. I know how you are. I've never been offended."

"But _I'm_ looking to change me," Lou tells him. "This whole year has been bullshit. We've been on the run, separated constantly after being apart for four fucking years, we've dealt with Lizzy and Dean's shit storm, we're getting hunted down by monsters that trump angels and demons... ugh. When this is over I want a change. I want us to live a life."

Sam's eyes blow wide. "I thought you wanted to hunt."

"I do!" Lou says loudly, sure of it. "But why can't I hunt and live a life too? Of course I still want to rip throats when I can. But I want to sleep in a _good_ bed now and then with a giant next to me taking up most of it."

Sam smiles a little at that.

"And I miss trying to cook in a real kitchen."

"Lizzy said you suck at cooking."

"I've been working on that," Lou tells her. "I'm not that bad a cook these days. Actually, I kinda like it."

"Does Lizzy know that?"

"Nope."

"Then why lie to her?"

"Because if she knew I was worth something behind a stove I'd never be off the hook. You've seen her eat."

"Fair enough," Sam nods and laughs. It's true. She has an appetite.

"I want both. And where is it written that I can't cook a fucking family dinner before stabbing a monster in the heart later that night?"

And this is where Sam brings his arms tightly around her. "That's a nice idea and all but I don't know anyone that's figure out how to make that work… except for maybe Ellen."

"Ellen?" Lou doesn't recall the name.

"Yeah, she… uh, she had a bar. It was like an outpost for hunters. They'd come in, trade stories, share hunts, meet up and get info, stuff like that."

"Shit, are you talking about The Roadhouse?" Lou lights up with the vague memory.

"That's the one."

"Lizard and I went there once. Bobby sent us. She had a daughter, right?"

"Yeah, Jo. Now and then they'd go out together and hunt while Ash watched the place."

"Wait… she hunted with her daughter?" Lou asks, unimpressed with the concept.

"Her daughter was pretty pigheaded, like a couple other women I know," Sam says fondly. "She was gonna hunt with or without Ellen, so Ellen went with her for back up. She said… uh… if Jo was gonna be stupid then she wasn't gonna let her be stupid alone."

Lou laughs a little. "I like her style."

"We all did," Sam tells her and Lou doesn't miss the loss in his voice.

"Didn't work out for her, huh? That life?" Lou turns towards him and pull her arms around his neck.

"No. But that's the risk you take when you keep hunting, I guess."

"Sucks when you feel like it's in your blood after so long, knowing full well you could die… Hell, I _have_ died hunting."

"I know the feeling." Sam sure does.

Lou sighs before planting a sweet kiss to his lips. "Point is I'm sorry for being a bitch all the time."

"No apology needed," Sam tells her, making a face that shows he's not affected by it. "And we'll figure out what to do with life as soon as we off Dick."

Lou just nods for now and kisses him back when he leans down into her. That familiar, contented feeling hits her hard when the embrace washes through her. She immediately pulls away.

"Ok, let's summon this ass-face before I get too carried away," Lou tells him and stands up off his lap.

"Yeah. Let's get this done," Sam agrees almost sullenly, standing to join her as his mind flies with possibilities. Clearly Lou's stuck in an odd place, between needing to hunt and wanting to live a real life. He's a smart man. And he loves her. He can absolutely figure this out for her once the Leviathan are taken care of.

* * *

 


	5. Fanfic, Demon Crushes, and Rabbit Food

**Side note : One of my favorite Dean and Lizzy convos ever!**

* * *

"Alright, what are we doing?" Dean asks once they hit the main highway and he has an idea of where he's going. This whole mystery trip is weird to him, the way he was shoved out of the cabin for Sam and Lou to call on Crowley. He has no idea what his part in all this is.

Lizzy looks up from her phone where she's doing yet more research. "We are on bone duty."

Dean blinks once while remaining frozen in his seat before his eyes slide to the side to look at her. "I get the feeling we're not talking about the _good_ kinda bone duty."

Lizzy just grins. "We're getting the bone of a human that was purely light and good for the weapon while Sam and Lou handle the blood part."

"Wait, they're gonna get Crowley _and_ an Alpha's blood on their own!?" Dean wonders with shock.

"Yeah…."

"And we just need to dig up a bone?"

"That pretty much sums it up, yeah," Lizzy answers him with obviousness.

Dean instantly looks pissed off.

"Dean, don't start…." she tries to prevent the upset but it's too late.

"So they're gonna drain an alpha _and_ the King of Hell… while we just do some easy ass milk run?"

"Yes. Absolutely," Lizzy answers back, voice certain.

"I don't like it," Dean tells her. "I should be there. Backing them up."

"Sam and Lou can back each other up. They're damn good hunters."

"And another hunter can't hurt when going up against that kind of evil!"

"Shh!" Lizzy shushes him right away, looking back behind her to see Sammy luckily unmoving. He's absolutely knocked out after the day he's had.

Dean grits his teeth and grabs the wheel hard. White knuckles and jaw jutting, he's clearly angry and not even trying to hide it.

"They have the flask too," Lizzy reminds him. "If they need backup then Bobby'll help them."

Dean's still quiet.

"This is exactly what we said we would be working on, Hot Shot," Lizzy has to remind him. "You and Me. We said we're not separating anymore, not for long periods of time."

He doesn't flinch.

"And Sammy's with us," she keeps trying. "You wanna summon Crowley with him there? Or find an alpha and what? Pop our son in a Baby Bjorn while we hunt it down?"

"What the hell is a Baby Bjorn?" Dean slowly asks with disdain as he turns to her with a face of disgust.

"Not the point," she brushes aside. "We got the easy task this one time because _we're parents_."

Dean loosens up once she reminds him of that. "I'm still getting used to that."

"Well, you better get used to not putting yourself in the position to die anymore," Lizzy tells him. "We have to be there for Sammy. That's a priority."

He doesn't respond, just sits with the reality of his life. He's been charging at evil straight on his whole life and he's had his close calls. And then he thinks about the way he was raised and how he wants Sammy to have a completely different experience. Sammy should have two parents.

Guilt. Yet more guilt. Just what he needed.

"And… it's not easy. I get it," Lizzy explains to him. "I stopped hunting when he was born and… sometimes I miss it."

He's shocked by this. "I thought you always wanted out."

"I did. Still do. I just… I miss the adrenaline," she gets very honest. "I miss the actual hunt. Ugh, and I miss punching things so bad!"

"Punching things is so satisfying," Dean agrees.

"I know!" She sighs. "But Sammy trumps it all. I don't love beating the shit out of monsters more than I love that little face. And the idea of dying and not being there for him? Way scarier than it's ever been. I don't want to leave him."

Nodding absently, Dean realizes how right she is. He doesn't know anything outside of hunting but now he has to. He has no choice. He can't do that to Sammy. He can't keep this life up and guarantee that he won't get killed. And what a terrible influence. He keeps going like this and the line between he and John will only get thinner and thinner.

"You alright?" Lizzy asks after she allows him to be in his own head for a bit. She knows he needs that now and then, to think things through in his own way and for her to let it happen. Generally she likes the conclusions he reaches when he has time.

He glances at her. "Yeah." He clears his throat. "Yeah. Just, you know… getting used to the idea."

"Domestic Dean," Lizzy jokes a little and smirks at him.

"What is that?" he scrunches his face.

"It's your new label. Domestic Dean," she jokes.

"And why is it that we're labeling me?" Dean asks, eyes narrowed with the awkwardness.

"You know… because that's what people do to us," Lizzy says like it's nothing.

He doesn't know what to say to that as he's completely lost. Dean turns his head and fixes her with a lost look.

And she remembers. "Shit… you wouldn't know about that because of how good you are with denial," Lizzy accepts her fate right there. She has to fess up. "Ok, so… I've been bored a lot lately."

"Ok…." Dean trails off while looking out the windshield, still confused.

"And so, I figured, I wanted to read a little. For fun. Not for work. My brain is fried with the Bible and copies of Bobby's old volumes."

"Sounds fair," he responds, still waiting for it.

"So I went online and looked up the Supernatural book series."

" _L_ …" he immediately complains.

"Don't do that!" she points at him. "You never even really read a single one of them."

"I read enough," he tells her, remembering the far too detailed retelling of he and Lizzy's first night together, full frontal and all.

"You read just the sex parts, didn't you?" she challenges, knowing her husband well enough.

He doesn't answer and therefore confirms it for her.

"Ok, so Chuck kind of sucks at writing sex…" she starts.

"No shit," Dean interrupts, agreeing.

"But the rest of it wasn't so bad."

"Why the hell would you _want_ to read those? You _lived_ it."

"Exactly," she grins. "I lived it. And who in this world gets to read their own memories, preserved perfectly in words? It's better than pictures, it's better than videos… it's every thought, feeling, and experience we had perfectly captured. I wanted to relive some of us and our relationship when you weren't around… and when we weren't working."

"Why?"

"Because… I wanted a reminder of what I might lose. And I wanted to be sure I was willing to lose it."

Dean hums a grumbling sound, her answers always too good. He can't ever rebut them.

"So I went to search for some of the books," she continues. "Maybe get some used ones on Amazon or something… and what popped up was… interesting."

His heart skips. That could mean anything. He somewhat knows what's out there.

"You ever heard of fanfiction?"

"Jesus Christ…" Dean hangs his head for a split second. "Don't tell me you read that crap."

"Ok… I won't tell you then," Lizzy answers and Dean groans from deep with true discomfort. "Now, before you go judging the shit outta me…"

"Too late."

"Just hear me out," Lizzy asks of him, knowing he's already built a brick wall between this subject and himself. "Honestly, most of it was crap. I mean, the amount of gay sex these people write…."

"Whoa!" Dean stops her right away. "Gay… what!?"

"Oh yeah. Tons of it. Apparently I'm just a distraction, keeping you from your true love of your brother."

The horrified look on Dean's face makes her giggle. "We're brothers! Why can't anyone seem to understand that!?"

"Two exceptionally hot, extremely gorgeous guys that look nothing alike getting it on? Gee, I can't seem to figure out why people would fantasize about that." Her tone is caustic and earns her one seriously pissed off expression. "Relax, these days the whole Wincest thing seems pretty played out for the most part."

"Win…" he starts to repeat the word but just can't get it out. "You're gonna go ahead and do that whole shutting the hell up thing now."

"You know that's not gonna happen," she laughs again at him. "Mostly what people are writing these days is straight Dean and Cass stories. Well, maybe _straight_ was the wrong word…."

"What. _The hell_. Are you talking about?" Dean asks, his stomach in knots.

"Oh. Fans seem pretty convinced that you and Cass are an item. Unrequited love and all that."

Looking to the roof of the car for a brief moment, Dean counts to ten before saying, "That's asinine."

"Well, he is hot. Or… Jimmy is. And he _is_ your best friend," Lizzy points out.

"No, he's not," Dean huffs a laugh at the idea. His best friend. An angel. Crazy.

"You sure about that?" Lizzy patronizes, knowing she's totally right.

"Cass is not my best friend."

"Who is then?" Lizzy wonders. "And don't say Sam, huh? Co-dependent brother is his proper label and it's weird enough as it is."

"You and Lou are worse!"

"Never said we weren't," she quickly comments and keeps him on track. "Best friend. Who?"

Dean thinks about it quickly. "You."

"Nope. Can't be your wife. You fuck your wife. You don't fuck your best friend."

"Apparently I do…," he dryly jokes.

Lizzy nearly busts a gut at the funny comment. "See! He's your bestie for life. You and Cass are best friends. You depend on him, he needs you. There's a love there, man. Bromance, all the way."

"No," Dean shakes his head. "I mean, sure, Cass is a friend. He's been there for me. But he's fucked up a lot too."

"And you never turned him away," she points out. "In fact, you even helped him after he broke Sam's brain. You gave him forgiveness. That sounds like a best friend."

"No. No… it's not…. Like… shit," Dean gives in, realizing halfway through his denial that it was just that; denial. Castiel, angel of the Lord, is his best friend. "What is my life?"

"Very weird," Lizzy says with too much enjoyment. "But because of your 'profound bond', which is a term that people love to quote, fanfic writers desperately want you to dump my ass and get with the sexy trench-coated angel with a deep baritone and some tousled bedhead."

Dean shifts uncomfortably. "Gross."

Lizzy just laughs at him. "But relax, there are other, uh, interests out there. Oh, for example, a lot of people are into Lezzy."

"Lezzy?"

"Lesbian Lizzy."

" _Really_?" Dean lights up now, his tone completely changing.

"Absolutely. You're not the only one on the hook here. Some writers think I make a great lesbian… especially when I'm with Lou. Or, the more popular one, some chick named Charlie… I don't know who that is though."

"We met her when digging into the Dick Roman Death Star. She's a computer nerd."

"Is she cute?" Lizzy wants to know.

"She's… like a little sister type. Annoying but, like… oddly adorable." Dean thinks it over quickly. "Actually, she does dig chicks."

"Oh yeah?" Lizzy asks with pure curiosity.

"Yeah. And she'd totally dig you," Dean lets her know, looking her over once. Charlie would love her. He's sure of it.

"Huh…." Lizzy nods, the whole thing not really bothering her all that much. People interpret things their own way and are letting out creativity. Whatever.

"Lesbian Lizzy. Well, see now… that's not so bad," Dean comments, lightening his mood.

"But some of it's with Lou. She's my sister."

"Yeah, but can you blame them? I mean, I can't figure out why anyone would want to see two hot chick together…."

"I get your point," she smiles at his turning it all around and quoting her former rebuttal back to her. "But there's stories about everything, not just sex. Lou as a vampire not dying and having a relationship with Sam while still a bloodsucker. Us having a really sweet and regular life with a whole bunch of kids. Ones where I'm an angel and you're a demon and we have an angel-demon hybrid baby…."

"Me a _demon_?" Dean scoffs. "That'll be the day."

"I know, right?" Lizzy laughs quietly at the absurd idea. "But, I gotta say, there's an uncomfortably huge amount of BDSM stories."

Dean's face changes, interest piqued. "Like whips and chains?"

"Like the real deal," Lizzy nods. "People fixate on that shit. I blame Fifty Shades, honestly."

"Huh…."

"I personally liked the one where Cass brings you to a BDSM club and keeps you on a leash the whole time, like a dog…."

"No, no," Dean immediately tries to stop her.

"And you're his sub and you listen to him like an obedient puppy…

"Nuh-uh. You're done talking…."

"And then he fucks you in front of the whole club…."

"Dude!" Dean gets angry again.

"And he makes you call him master the whole time."

Dean fixes her with a cold, angry stare and she just simply smiles wide. "Stop reading that shit, L! It'll rot your brain!"

Lizzy's near hysterical in the seat next to him with his horror over everything. She knew he had to find out sooner or later and she definitely wanted to be involved in it. His face makes it all worth it.

"Jesus. What is wrong with you?" Dean asks her.

"Curiosity is a hell of a thing," she laughs and winds down. "But I'll be honest. I mostly just read summaries and was too afraid to actually read the stories. Man, _a lot_ of smut going on online."

"Yeah, because it's the internet. Its main use is sex."

She considers this. "Very true."

Lizzy revels in her happiness for a moment as Dean grows very quiet. After some time he actually speaks up. "That's all backwards, anyways."

Lizzy snaps her head to the side with a very interested look. "What is?"

"The whole… Cass thing."

"Just, the whole you two being together thing? Because yeah, I'll admit, it's super weird."

"No the… you know… Cass being the one to… be all…," Dean tries to explain but whenever he hits a word he refuses to say he stops. In the end he just waves his hand in the air and gives up.

And it clicks with Lizzy what he's trying to tell her. "You're an idiot."

"What? Why?"

"I know what you're trying to say," she tells him. "You're saying that you'd be the one fucking Cass and being all dominating because the other way around is absurd."

She can still read his mind. Dean answers by not saying a word.

"Ha! No fucking way, man," Lizzy shakes her head.

"Yes way!" Dean fights her, already insulted.

"No! You're so wrong!"

"I'm not letting Cass… do that!"

"Dean, if you and Cass ever hooked up do you really think that an angel, a warrior of God with some of the strongest powers in the universe, would be topped by a mere human? I don't think so!"

"Who the hell are you calling a mere human!?" Dean gets upset all over again. "You know I'm no mere human in the sack."

"Not the point," Lizzy shakes her head, loving that she's making such words come out of Dean Winchester's mouth. "Cass would fuck you into oblivion. Hell, he might even be like Superman. You might not even be able to survive it." She lets out a big laugh. "He'd probably fuck you to death, ha!"

"Why are we even talking about Cass having sex with me like Superman!?"

"Because you brought it up!"

"No I didn't!"

"You said if you and Cass hooked up that you'd be the one fucking him…."

"Only because you brought up us fucking in the first place!"

Lizzy thinks a quick second. "Oh, right," she calmly remembers.

"I don't want to talk about Cass… and sex… and me. Ever!" Dean declares and ends the whole thing where it is with his hands waving through the air above the steering wheel with anger.

Lizzy just laughs hard in her seat. "Fine," she giggles out, wiping her eyes when it's all too much. "But the point was that people are writing all different versions of us. And some it wasn't so bad. Domestic Dean was a good guy. I liked him."

"The whole thing sounds terrible," Dean counters, not wanting anything to do with it if it's all sex with angels.

"Well, I read a couple with no gay sex or weirdness," Lizzy defends. "And… they were nice."

"How could any of that be nice?"

Lizzy smiles sadly. "Some people are on our side and like to pretend we got out. Some people erase our pasts and… we're so happy." She laughs and fights the lump in her throat. "In one story, Sammy had a little brother. And you were a mechanic. I helped out that the kids' school. Sam and Lou lived next door and had a daughter…. We tucked our boys in at night and knew they were safe. No salt, no guns, no demons. We were civilians and there was no evil. Just us and our boys."

The longing in her voice crushes him and the entire mood in the car shifts. All the things she wants so desperately are all the things he can't quite give her. And clearly even fans of the book series see how badly she deserves a better life.

"Life will never be like that," Dean has to remind her, as much as it hurts to.

"I know that…."

"But it'll get better. I'm gonna get us somewhere better," Dean says with all the confidence in the world. "It might take time. It might not be perfect when we do get there… but I'll get us somewhere good. Count on it."

Lizzy smiles over at him. "I know, baby. I know you will."

"Do you?" Dean has to check, needing her to truly believe in him about this. "Because L, I'm gonna do it. I'd do anything for you and Sammy. Anything."

"And I couldn't love you more for that," Lizzy nods, a syrupy sweet grin on her face. "It's just… the waiting to get there is just really hard."

Dean nods, understanding that. "I'm tired as hell, too."

"Exhausted," Lizzy adds in. "Maybe we just focus on putting one foot in front of us at a time. First, get a nun bone. Then, get back and make a weapon."

"Then… I'm stabbing Dick fucking Roman in his smug, friggin' face," Dean gets dark when he says it.

Lizzy peers at him funny. "I thought it was me that promised Dick I'd be the one to kill him."

"You're not going anywhere near him," Dean tells her and Lizzy's eyes widen.

"Thought we were getting past this," she starts cautiously, not wanting to start a fight but needing him to lighten up on such issues.

"It's not about you," Dean says to her quickly, also not wanting a fight. "It's about Sammy. If one of us has to do this and goes down in the process then it's gotta be me."

"Why?" Lizzy asks, shocked with the statement.

"Because you're his mother,' Dean tells her. "Because he needs you more than he needs me. I die then I know what will happen."

"What?" Lizzy challenges.

"You'll throw yourself into raising him. You'll hide away, make a life, you'll give him everything he could ever need and then some and he'll turn out great… and nothing like Sammy and me."

"And if I died instead?" she wonders.

Dean shakes his head. "Then I'm scared to death that he'll be just like me. And I'll raise him like dad raised us."

"You _learned_ from John, though," Lizzy points out. "You learned from his mistakes…."

"But when I'm put into those shoes, losing you will end me," Dean tells her honestly. "And Sammy… he'll have no chance. You gotta stay behind and stay with him. It's not for me and it's not because I think you can't handle it." He glances at her. "I know you can. I know you want to kill Dick dead and you could absolutely pull it off… but Sammy? He needs you. I need you to stay with him."

Lizzy sighs heavily.

"Don't be mad at me for that," Dean asks of her once she's quiet for a moment.

"I'm not," she tells him with truth. "I just… the idea of going right back into watching you leave and not knowing what's going to happen…."

"I know," Dean tells her. "And I want it to be different."

"We do what we have to," Lizzy reminds. "Sammy comes first."

"One thing we've never disagreed on," Dean comments happily.

"And… if I have to stay behind I will," Lizzy tells him. "But you better come back to me."

Dean nods and grows silent, the car filled with only the car engine and the low volume of the local classic rock station. They're both aware of how bad this could get. They just don't know what else to say within the life that won't change and let them just be safe and together.

* * *

"You ready?" Lou asks as she stands by the table in the cabin, box of matches in hand. She has one ready to strike.

Sam just nods once, gripping Ruby's knife a little tighter.

"Et ad congregandum eos coram me," Lou says the spell and lights the match, dropping it into the prepared gold bowl.

Flames rise from the bowl, smoke filling the room, and when it dissipates Crowley is standing there in the middle of the devil's trap in the center of the cabin's splintered wooden floor.

The King looks around at the dusty place and groans. "Would it kill you people to clean before summoning royalty? I mean, where's the pride…?"

When he turns around he sees the two hunters staring at him unimpressed. He sighs.

"Hello… _boy_ ," he snarks at Sam and then looks to Lou. His disappointed expression disappears completely. "And good day to you, darling." He bows slightly in a showy way, Lou scrunching her face at him. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of being in your fine presence today?"

Both shift uncomfortably with his sudden change in demeanor. He's slightly pleasant now and the King of Hell is rarely pleasant.

"We need something," Sam answers shortly, already irked by Crowley's presence alone. Combine that with the way Crowley is looking at Lou and he's already done with this visit.

"Not surprised," Crowley comments and Sam's brow lowers. "So, what's the craic? I assume this has everything to do with a certain quite powerful… _Dick_."

Lou rolls her eyes. "Good guess. We wanna ice him."

"Dick Roman? You know how to _kill_ Dick Roman?" Crowley asks, looking back and forth between the two of them, both staring back at him with straight faces. "Well, Moosie. You and the Moosette here never cease to surprise. Figured you'd be spinning those wheels for a while longer but it seems the addition of your long lost love has really upped the I.Q. around here."

Once more Lou makes a confused and unhappy face at him for the out of place compliment that comes her way. "We need your help for the weapon."

"Of course you do," he rolls his eyes, not liking this one bit. "So, that's what all the rumble-rumble was about."

"We need your blood." Sam stands a little taller after walking a step closer to Lou out of instinct.

Crowley narrows his eyes up at him. "Why?"

"It's just part of what we need," Lou sharply explains. "We need the blood of a fallen angel, an Alpha… and your ass."

"I see…" the demon thinks it over. "Quite the potent mix we're talking."

"You gonna give us the blood or not?" Lou gets impatient with him, his arrogance irking her the longer he's around.

"Happily, my dear… but not quite yet," Crowley smiles, wagging a finger. "I'm all for chopping Dick, but I can't have you running around with a vial of my blood, now, can I? You know the sheer number of nefarious spells my enemies can use that blood for?"

"When?" Sam asks.

"Last." Crowley already sees what he has to do. "After you've got all the other components you get my goods."

"No problem," Lou comments with sheer overconfidence.

"Really?" Crowley surprises.

"We can handle it."

"It won't be easy. Most difficult, the angel part, I'm assuming. Given your overgrown boyfriend and his lover-brother's role in their little apocalypse, I can't imagine the choirboys upstairs are wetting their vestments to do you… what's the word… a solid. Unless, of course, you have an angel up your sleeve." He eyes them hard, still pissed at Castiel for screwing him over completely and hoping they've seen him around.

"That'd be convenient, but… no." Sam lies his face off to cover Castiel's tracks for as long as he can.

"Don't worry about it, dude," Lou tries to appease the demon. "We'll get the angel blood one way or another. We just need your ugly mug to show the next time we call, capiche?"

"Such a sharp tongue for such a lovely specimen," Crowley quickly comments and moves on. "Fine."

"Fine," Lou snaps right back.

"Oh, here's a tip," Crowley tells them quickly. "I have it on good authority there's one Alpha still among us."

"Whose authority?" Sam asks, confused. Cass killed all the Alphas.

"Mine," Crowley answers with obviousness. "Wily character, that Alpha vampire. Somehow made good with his prison break before Cass went nuclear on the place."

"And you know this for sure how?" Sam has to be certain.

"Keep your friends close, your enemies… blah-blah," Crowley answers. "I mean, you two did call on me yet again, did you not?" They angrily stay quiet with the good point he makes. "Needless to say, I keep tabs. He moves around quite a bit. But I have an inkling I know where to start the Easter-egg hunt. Happy trails." He turns to Lou and winks. "Try and call me when the Moose isn't around next time, darling. We'll have a chat. I'll bring the Craig."

Crowley disappear.

"Uh, hello?! Where do we start?!" Sam calls out into the air when Crowley never told them where they could start looking.

Immediately, flames burst out on the table. They roar for a few seconds before dying down on their own. Once they're out, there is a location left behind.

"Hoople, North Dakota," Sam reads.

"Piece of paper would have worked," Lou bitches.

"Alright," Sam nods. "We got a lead. Let's go."

Lou smiles wide. "Sweet," she cheers evenly as she walks for the back room she and Sam share. She picks up her yet-to-be-unpacked duffle and slings it over her should. "So excited to see some fucking action."

"Baby poop is some pretty scary action," Sam laughs and pulls his own bag over his shoulder and picks up a weapon filled bag.

"Not the same," Lou tells him, her mood immensely improved now that she's going to be out on the road hunting again.

"Come on," Sam says to her. "I think it's like a half day drive or more."

"The sooner we get this shit and call back Crowley, the sooner I don't have to see that little shit again," Lou says, getting such a slimy feel from the demon. "Dude, does he seriously have, like, a thing for me or something?"

"Definitely," Sam huffs a laugh as he opens the front door for her.

"That's funny to you?" Lou pauses and asks.

"That I have the one thing the King of friggin' Hell can't even have?" Sam smirks knowingly.

Lou smiles wide at that, seeing it from his angle. As she passes him and he shuts the door, she tells him, "Alright, that's pretty funny."

* * *

"What do we think?" Lizzy asks her son as they walk the aisles of the Gas N' Sip on a food break. She is holding his hands over his head as he's walking in front of her with her assistance. "We want… chicken and carrots?"

Sammy just makes a babbling sound as he marches aimlessly on through the store, almost ready to take some steps on his own but not quite there yet.

"Or maybe beef and peas?" Lizzy keeps talking, looking for the limited baby food selection if the convenience stop even has one.

"Looks like it's either green beans, carrots, or bananas," Dean tells her as they round the aisle corner and find him crouched on the floor looking through the minimal jars on a bottom shelf. "That's all they got."

"Damn," Lizzy sighs. "He can't have green beans."

"I certainly don't wanna drive around with a sink bomb in the back seat," Dean comments, knowing the smelly results of giving his son green beans. "Alright. Carrots and bananas it is."

"And I'll grab some apple sauce," Lizzy tells him once he's placed a few jars of each food into a shopping basket by his feet. Sammy walks with his mom right for Dean and by the time he reaches him Dean's arms are wide open for him.

"Slow down, lead foot," Dean jokes around with Sammy when the boy picks up speed once he was headed right for his dad. Sammy lets go of Lizzy and grabs Dean's jeans to hang on. "What about Cheerios?"

"Good idea," Lizzy nods, walking to another aisle to get cereal and apple sauce. "What about _us_?"

"Yeah, we should probably eat too, huh?" Dean says as he picks up Sammy. He pops him on his hip and holds him with one arm, carrying the shopping basket in the other.

"Definitely, I'm starving," Lizzy speaks over the aisles.

"So… burrito or hotdog?" Dean says and he hears her groan with disgust. He laughs at her and looks at Sammy. "Did momma get used to having a kitchen for so long that she's a fast food snob now?"

"Momma is sick of sodium packed pigs' anuses," she calls over and Dean laughs a little.

"Burrito it is then," he assumes and heads for the prepared food corner of the mart, hoping there's maybe some prepacked sandwiches there instead. When he turns around he stops short and watches the man already over there for a moment. His behavior is all off as he puts mustard on his hotdog. "Hey. L."

"Yeah?" she answers as she comes over to him, dropping some items in the basket he holds.

"Check out that guy over there," Dean nods to mustard man. "He seem a little out of it to you?"

"Huh," Lizzy hums as she observes him layering endless amounts of mustard onto his hotdog from the pump, seemingly so dazed he doesn't realize what he's doing. "I don't know. Maybe a little."

Dean's getting an odd feeling. He looks around the store and catches a portly woman with white hair staring into a wide open cooler of cold beer. "What about Paula Deen over here?"

She looks and catches exactly what Dean did. The woman just stares vacantly into the cooler, the cold air not effecting her at all and she makes no move to take a beverage. "Yeah, uh… they look…." She turns back and checks on mustard man. He still hasn't moved, the only thing having changed is the size of the mustard mountain on his hot dog. "Stoned to hell." She looks at him with a smile. "Wonder where they got their shit. It looks like it's good."

"They look like the Turducken people," Dean comments, looking out the big store front windows to see a man slowly struggling to put the key in his car door to unlock it in the parking lot. He munching on a burrito and he can't focus on the task at hand. "What the hell is going on?"

"No idea," Lizzy responds. She watches Dean drop his basket on the floor and take out his phone as clearly he knows something is happening. "Sam?"

"Yeah," he answers quickly as the line rings.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Sam pulls his phone out of his back pocket when it rings. He looks at the number and right away answers it. "You guys run into trouble already?"

"Crap," Lou worries from the driver's seat.

" _Not sure. You guys driving?"_

"Yeah."

" _You got a place to pull over… a busy, public place?"_

Sam looks ahead and sees a sign for a plaza coming up on the two lane route. He points to it. "Pull in there," he tells Lou.

"Why?" she asks despite her blinker already on.

"Dean, why are we pulling into a shopping plaza?" Sam asks.

" _I want you to get out of the car and go into a store."_

"What store?"

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Any store, I don't care," Dean gets short with him the more he looks around. He walks around the front of the store while on the phone and observes a little more. The cashier is sitting on the counter while watching the small television rigged to the corner of the wall, the only thing on it being the security footage in black and white. He watches as if it's an action flick, his mind enthralled as he chews away at a big wad of gum.

" _Seriously, dude. What's happening?"_

"Something big, maybe. Just do it, Sammy," Dean tells him, looking back at Lizzy and seeing her face. It's starting to settle in. Whatever this is it's huge and she can also tell.

Dean waits and listens as Lou and Sam get out of their car and walk to the nearest store.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"What's the point of this?" Lou asks impatiently. "We gotta get going. Time's a-wasting."

"Just go with it," Sam tells her, looking around as he knows that Dean would never ask him to do this if it wasn't for good reason. They walk into a small, local grocery store in the middle of a small town. "Ok. We're in a grocery store," Sam tells his brother.

" _Look around."_

"Uh, ok…."

" _Just do it. Both of you look around and tell me what you're seeing."_

"Look around the place," Sam tells Lou and she crosses her arms over her chest, annoyed. "Just do it. For me."

Lou rolls her eyes and starts walking. They get through the produce section and find nothing off, no people even around. When they head back into the bakery section Sam stiffens his posture and pauses.

"What?" Lou asks.

Sam points to a man standing in front of the donut and muffin display, a donut half eaten as he stares at the baked goods barely moving. He looks zombified, powdered sugar all over his mouth as she chews without thinking and takes another massive bite. Jelly dribbles onto his shirt and he doesn't even notice.

"Whoa. He ok?" Lou asks, ready to step over and ask him if he needs help but Sam grabs her upper arm and pulls her back. "What?"

"Look around," Sam tells her. "They're all whacked out."

The deli attendant is shoving slices of ham into his mouth and leaning into the counter behind the meat cases. There's a woman eating a lollipop and continually pushing her shopping cart around and around a cheese display at a slow pace, never stopping. Another woman drinking a to-go coffee is so dazed she doesn't see the cart of produce in front of her and walks right into it, spilling apples, oranges, and lemons everywhere.

No one else in the store even flinches with the noise.

"Shit," Sam quietly says with fright.

" _It's happening there too?"_

"Yeah," Sam tells Dean. "It's starting."

"What is?" Lou asks.

" _What's starting!? What the hell is this?"_

Sam picks up a package of cookies nearby and reads the label. Exactly what he though. He explains it to both Dean on the phone and Lou next to him. "It's the corn syrup. Practically everything in the store is laced with it."

" _So what?"_

"So… Dick. He bought Sucro Corp," Sam says to his brother and Lou makes a face of recognition, remembering the video Sam showed her earlier in the day. Dick's already all over the corn syrup propaganda.

" _And!?"_

"And… he screwed with the corn syrup. It's part of his whole plan," Sam explains to him, putting the cookies down. "It's the same as the Turducken thing you ate from Biggerson's a few months back. They're gonna get us all high on the food, we're gonna be compliant, eat mindlessly, get fat…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"The perfect herd," Dean finishes as he looks down at his basket. He lifts the slice of cherry piece he put into it and reads the label. Corn syrup. "They fucked with everything?"

" _Oh yeah."_

"Hey, man, I'm gonna go into toxic shock, okay? I need my road food."

" _That's what Roman is banking on."_

"Hey. Hey," Dean gets a flash of hope as he keeps reading the pie label. "My pie says natural on it. That means it's safe. Right?"

He hears Sam sigh.

" _Dean, put the pie down."_

"But it says…."

" _I hate to break it to you, but corn syrup_ _is_ _natural… technically."_

Groaning with upset, Dean puts the pie back on the bakery display. He looks back into his basket and eyes Sammy's food. "Well, then what the hell are we supposed to eat?"

" _Nothing processed, canned, with sugar in it… basically, you have to eat fruits and vegetables."_

Dean's eyes slam shut with frustration. "I'm a warrior, Sam..."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Well, now you're a rabbit, Dean," Sam smirks slightly to himself over Dean's personal horror.

" _What about Sammy? He can't eat baby food if he can't eat anything jarred."_

" _Or cereal."_

He just makes out Lizzy's lament. Cheerios have been all their saving grace. If Sammy's cranky, hungry, bored, whatever she's always been able to hand over a small pile of Cheerios and Sammy is a happy boy.

"No Cheerios. And don't let him eat the baby food for sure!" Sam gets worried and so does Lou when she hears him say it.

She grabs the phone out of his hand. "Dean?"

" _Lou?"_

"Ok, listen up. When we were living in one place for a little while Lizard and I were making Sammy's baby food now and then."

" _Seriously?"_

"It's healthier and I was bored so I started doing it," she shrugs it off. "Just get a food processor and Lizzy will buy the produce she needs. Find a motel and make him everything from scratch. She knows how. And in the meantime he can eat things like bananas and strawberries."

" _Ok, we'll try and hold him over until we get there."_

"Hang in there," Lou tells him. "And don't eat anything stupid!"

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Dean just sigh, looking at his pie he put back longingly.

" _Suck it up, dude."_

He rolls his eyes with Lou's directive. "Watch your backs," Dean says to Lou and hangs up. He takes one look at Sammy and the little boy locks eyes with him. "We're gonna starve."

Sammy just giggles at him and reaches for his dad's moving mouth as Dean walks for his wife.

"What can we even eat?"

With a hesitant and apologetic face, Lizzy hold up a new basket, the old one ditched when they couldn't buy any of it. In the basket is a bunch of bananas, a carton of blueberries, some bagged baby carrots, and some bottles of water.

"Son of a…."

"We'll survive," Lizzy tells him. She heads for the cashier, avoiding the conversation from hell with Dean. She reaches the cashier and greets him. "Hi there."

He doesn't look down from the security monitor.

"Hello?" she tries again and he still doesn't move. She waves her hand in front of his face and slowly his eyes drift to her. "Hi, hon. Can we check out?"

The teen looks at her in his Gas N' Sip vest, no reaction whatsoever. He then takes his time in looking back up at the monitor and then back to her. He smiles languidly.

"Are you ok, kid?" Dean asks from behind Lizzy.

He laughs a purely stoner laugh as he points up at the monitor. They look and they see themselves on it. The fact that they're on the monitor is blowing the teenage clerk's mind.

"Jesus," Dean shakes his head and taps Lizzy's shoulder. "Let's go."

"And not pay?" she asks.

"Would he notice?" Dean points out.

Lizzy sees the opportunity and takes it. They were pretty cash-poor right now anyways. "Good point. Let's roll."

* * *

**Crowley's got a crush, hm? ;)**


	6. Blood and Bone (Part 1)

* * *

"So… you sure this is the place?" Lou asks from the driver's seat of the busted old Pinto they hotwired halfway through their trip. The stolen Chevy Nova they started out with broke down over two hundred miles back. They should be more discerning about which car to steal.

"Best guess, yeah," Sam says as he peers off at the gated mansion in the middle of a rich, old suburb of Hoople. They reached their destination just now and are ready to find and bleed that Alpha Vamp.

"And you trust that old guy at the library why?" Lou double checks his work as she rubs an apple on her shirt to clean it before taking a big bite.

"Because he's an old guy," Sam shrugs, reaching behind him in the passenger seat to grab binoculars from the back. "Old locals know everything. They don't spend their days buried with their faces in a smart phone. They observe."

"Observe what?" she asks with a full mouth.

"Everything." He looks through the binoculars and watches for comings and goings in and out of the mansion, there being none. The place is dark inside and no one stirs. Very vamp-like while hiding out. "Elderly locals know all about the towns they grew up in. He said this place was recently bought by a mysterious rich guy. No one leaves during the day. Dudes in suits looking like secret service are suddenly about town now and then at night only…."

"Alright, sounds good enough for me." She keeps eating and letting Sam check the place out.

"It's dark." Sam tells her, lowering the binoculars.

"Well, it is night," Lou says with sarcasm.

"Helpful," Sam brushes her off. "But that means I can't see inside."

Lou considers the danger of entering vampire domain at night. "We should wait for daylight, then…."

"Hell no, we're not waiting!"

"Shit!" Lou shouts as Sam jumps a foot, both sharply looking behind them to find Bobby sitting in the backseat suddenly. "A heads up next time, huh!?"

"No time. I'll scout it out. See if we need to bring in the big guns." With that Bobby blinks out and disappears.

Sam looks to Lou with a face of concern.

She gets it. "Little reckless."

"You don't say," Sam easily agrees right before Bobby pops back into the car.

"Okay," the older hunter says after looking around the house. "Place is clear."

"No vamps?" Lou asks, disbelieving.

"None. But there's something you're gonna want to see. Let's go." Bobby once more is gone and Lou sighs.

She and Sam exchange another look of concern and get out of the stolen car. They stop at the trunk to grab machetes just in case before heading towards the house.

They both walk slowly to the front door while on high alert. Lou checks the knob but it's locked. Without speaking, she backs up and keeps a good look out as Sam pulls out his lock pick and gets to work.

In no time they're in, walking through the spacious, upscale home and finding it quiet, much like Bobby told them it would be.

"Lower the blade. I told ya it's empty… almost," Bobby says as he walks past them, already in the house.

"So what did you want us to see?" Sam asks, following Bobby into a dining room. The question is answered the second they get a good view of the dining table.

Three bodies are laid on it, upon closer inspection they all have pointed teeth bared.

"Dead vamps? In a vamp hideout?" Lou asks aloud and looks to Sam with a wrinkled face. "Mutiny?"

"Definitely not," Sam responds, pointing to the badly burned out mouth and neck on all three, the skin looking singed by chemicals.

"Ok… I've never heard of a way to burn a vamp to death with battery acid. And I've _been_ a vampire." Lou takes a closer look, leaning over the table. Sam immediately pulls her back with an arm around her middle, not knowing what it is and not wanting her too close because of that.

"Only way I know is beheading," Bobby agrees with her.

"Well, something didn't agree with them," Sam says seriously, letting Lou go and giving her a look to remind her to be careful.

"Hey," Lou nods to the other side of the room. "Check out that wall."

Sam looks and then turns back to her, shaking his head with a face to say he doesn't see anything off.

"Look again," Lou tells him as they both head that way.

Sam instantly feels around the edges of the bookshelf and picks up on the slightest of drafts. "Yeah, there's something back there. See if you can find a switch or a lever or something."

"Don't need one," Bobby announces with far too much confidence and walks right through the wall, ghost abilities quite handy in the moment.

"How nice for him," Lou sarcastically bites as she and Sam start looking shelf by shelf.

Sam starts reading through the book titles on the spines of the perfectly stacked books. He hesitates upon reading one.

"Hey," he calls her attention as he pulls out the volume titled 'How to Serve Man' and shows it to her.

She rolls her eyes. "Lamest joke ever."

"Vampires aren't known for their sense of humor," he absently tells her as he looks to the shelf where the book was taken. Behind it is a button he quickly pushes.

The hidden doors spring open and swing their way, both backing up to make room for it. When they can see inside they find Bobby already standing there and looking at a young girl sitting curled up on the floor, her back against a bed.

When the young girl sees the two walk in she stands up, her floral nightgown she's wearing falling to her knees. She clutches tightly to a stuffed bear as she backs up to the wall, wide eyes on the people she didn't expect to arrive.

She eyes the weapons in Lou and Sam's grip and visibly gets more frightened.

"Lou," Sam nods at her machete and they both immediately sheath their weapons.

"Hey, hon," Lou smiles out, softening her voice from its usual edge that she knows isn't always so becoming. She does this while hunting when they find a possible victim, always wanting people at ease if they've been traumatized. "Sorry about the way we just kind of barged in here." She sneaks a look of upset to Bobby. "We're not gonna hurt you. Okay?" She lifts her upper lip. "No fangs. See?"

"We just want to talk," Sam adds in, keeping his composure calm also. She's underdressed so Sam immediately pulls his heavy, canvas jacket off. "Come sit down." He gestures to the chair across from a couch in the small, hidden space that is not unlike an upscale apartment.

Moving slowly, eyes darting around at the three people, before taking a seat.

"Here," Sam offers, moving slowly to show her he means her no harm and he drapes his big coat over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she tells him in a meek voice, pulling the coat around her tighter as her eyes avoid the room of strangers, looking at the floor.

"Honey, what's your name?" Lou asks as she takes a seat across from the girl on the antique floral couch, looking at her with a still kind expression.

"Emily," she answers, a tiny hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, finding Lou comforting and much less intimidating than the other two.

"What are you doing here, Emily?" Sam asks, taking a seat next to Lou and following her lead. He can sense that the poor girl is already at ease with her and he wants to appear as safe as Lou does.

"I'm… this is where I live."

"You live in a secret room in a vampire hideout?" Lou questions evenly.

Emily pauses for a moment, clearly thinking over what to say and how to explain herself. "I was 8. My mom left me at the playground while she ran to the store. A man approached me and said I was the prettiest girl there." She smiles wide with the memory of the compliment. "And I've been living with these... _things_... ever since. At least until now."

"Do you have any idea why?" Sam questions.

"I'm one of his special girls. All the others, it was their job to make sure I was ready for the Alpha, whenever he came. Wash me... give me my IV bags every day. It's my only food. So my blood's pure."

No one speaks for a moment with the story. They weren't prepared for this.

"They've been doing this to you for… maybe, 12 years?" Lou wonders, her heart hurting for this young woman and her experiences.

"Virgins are a delicacy," she says as if it's the most normal thing ever. "He always has at least one of us on hand."

"Not anymore he doesn't," Lou says to her in a promise.

"What do you mean?" Emily asks.

"It means we're gonna get you back to your mother," Sam vows, knowing that they have to.

Emily sadly grins. "Think she remembers me?

"Of course she remembers you," Lou tells her with pure certainty. "I mean, don't you remember her?"

Emily just shakes her head no.

"Well, trust me when I tell you there is no way she doesn't remember you," Lou says and smiles at her reassuringly. "She's going to be so happy to see you again."

"Emily?" Bobby jumps in there, walking towards the doorway they discovered and gesturing to the three dead vampire bodies on the table they already looked over. "These guys friends of yours?"

"They take care of the Alpha when he's here… or they did."

"What happened to them?" Sam prods a little more, needing to understand what the hell is going on.

"A week ago, they came back from what they said was an easy hunt. They dragged in three humans and it was strange… they didn't put up any fight. Not even a yell. But when they started to feed on the humans, the vampires screamed in pain. The ones who ate died immediately."

"And the ones who didn't?"

She looks at Sam and answers him. "There was only one. When he saw what happened, he moved to animals. He's out hunting as we speak."

"Something ain't stirring the Kool-Aid, Sam," Lou says quietly as they try to make sense of all this. "Vamps being allergic to humans? That's unheard of."

"You think maybe it's the corn syrup?" he logics. "I mean, think about it. The grocery store was lousy with stoners. All ripe for the picking."

Lou's eyes widen as she turns back to Emily. "You did say it was an easy hunt, right?"

"That's what they said," Emily responds.

"Ok… Emily, do you know where the Alpha is now?" Sam wonders, the pieces finally falling into place.

"I don't know. Maybe. He has a place he goes when something's wrong. He calls it his retreat."

"Alright," Sam nods and pulls his phone out. He smiles at Emily. "You've been really helpful, Emily."

She smiles softly before wrinkling her forehead at the device in his hands. "What is that?"

Lou grins. "That's Sam's evil dickbag GPS. Helps us find the Alpha. Can you give us the address?"

"I don't know it… but I remember things that maybe can help," Emily offers.

"That's fine," Sam nods. "Just do the best you can."

* * *

Dean unlocks and pushes open the motel room door. Flicking the light switch, he looks around and is pleasantly surprised. "Hey, this place doesn't totally suck." He drops the three bags he has on the nearest bed and inhales deeply while Lizzy walks into the room with Sammy in her arms. "Even smells better than the usual."

"Because I'm done with the flea bag places," she tells him. "Cheap chains are at least clean enough for me to be comfortable with him staying in." She nods at Sammy as she opens up a plastic shopping bag of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Dean nods in agreement as he looks over the channel listings on the menu left on the dresser by the modern television. "Hey, I'll take a flat screen and clean sheets any day. I'm with you on this."

She smiles. "I figured. Hey, can you set him up with some toys or something while I get to making him something to eat?"

"You got any idea what you'll make him to eat?" Dean wonders while pulling Sammy into his arms, the little boy automatically reaching for him.

"I'm thinking some bananas and strawberries first," Lizzy shrugs a bit as she starts to unpack all the bags of items they bought at the local supercenter. "Then some carrots and sweet potatoes but those will take longer."

"Why?"

She points to the boxed hot pot. "Have to boil veggies first before pureeing them into baby food."

"You really think you can pull that off in a hotel room with no kitchen?" Dean wonders, riffling through the packed-to-the-gills baby bag for items that will occupy Sammy enough.

Lizzy pauses, leaving the boxed food processer and hotpot on the small wooden desk. She looks at him with a soft grin. "I've been doing this for almost a year. I can make anything work." She then turns away from him, avoiding the upset she's sure would be in his expression. There was no good way to explain it without bumming him out and she already knew how he'd take it.

Dean slows with the admission. It hits him square in the heart. He takes the stuffed dog that he noticed Sammy seemed to love and sits down on the edge of the bed closest to Lizzy. He settles there, Sammy sitting in his lap with the stuffed dog's ear already in his mouth. "L, I… I don't know what to say to that." He said he'd be honest with her and try. He's trying.

"Don't say anything," she asks of him, pulling the food processer from the box and setting it up without looking at him. "Dean, we're past this. It's different now, right?"

The way she smiles with all the hope in the world over her shoulder before continuing on to setting up a makeshift kitchen, Dean's heart still feels heavy. All that lost time still weighs on him. "Right. I mean… hell, look at me. I'm here instead of with Sam on a blood run. That's a step in the right direction."

"A baby step but a step nonetheless," Lizzy says brightly and even without seeing her face he knows she's grinning.

"Alright, you cook up some food, I'm gonna give this dude a bath because it's been a few days I think," Dean comments, looking at Sammy's wispy hair and seeing it's slightly dirty.

"Good idea," Lizzy nods, plugging everything in and taking all parts that need to be rinsed before using. She heads for the bathroom and turns on the sink faucet. She glances at the tub. "And a clean tub! Ugh, what a luxury!"

"Thank God," Dean comments heavily as he once more rummages through Sammy's baby bag singlehandedly, grabbing baby shampoo and a soft, terry cloth towel. He takes one look at the little rubber duckies on it, butterflies flying over their heads, and he groans. "What the hell is this?" he wonders with an edge, walking up behind Lizzy in the bathroom as she rinses items in the sink and he shoves the embroidered patterns in front of her.

She looks at him with a flat face. "Do you have any idea how many times we've had to ditch so fast that we don't get to pack?"

"Where's the shark one I got him?" Dean bitches. "The one with the hood that had teeth and was badass?"

"Left it in Michigan when we found out there where Leviathan-looking kills in town," she tells him with an edge. "Lou and I thought it would be better to run and live than go back for a shark towel and die."

Sighing, Dean sets the towel on the closed toilet seat and sits on it while leaning over to turn on the tap.

Lizzy watches as his shoulders stiffen while holding the back of his hand under the water to test the temperature.

"We're making it better," Lizzy reminds him. "We're here for a reason."

"To get a nun bone," Dean mutters as he lets the tub fill once he finds the right temperature.

"So we can kill Dick and get our lives back," she fixes his answer. "This is temporary."

"Yeah," Dean nods, not convinced. "And in the meantime we can't even give our kid a towel without that being ripped away from him just like everything else."

It's pathetic. She knows it is and she agrees. Their lifestyle is pathetic. But she's fighting past it because she has to.

"Dean?"

He looks up at her.

"Don't be such a sulky little emo girl," Lizzy smirks as she says it, watching his eyes roll when she insults him. She huffs a small laugh before dropping the blender and processer on the small vanity counter. She leans down and touches his cheek, the stubble so long it's near beard territory with how busy they've been. "You have us. You win." She kisses his lips with a firm press and pulls back a little to kiss Sammy's forehead. "As dark as it is… remember that Sammy is our way back. He's going to push us to get there."

Dean just looks up at her with a brief moment of clarity, running his fingertips gently over Sammy's head without looking down.

"Think of him as our little ray of light at the end of a long, shitty, scary tunnel," she half laughs at that, picking up where she left off. She dries off the items as Dean gets to work.

"He's a smelly ray of light, ugh!" Dean comments, picking him up and tilting him sideways, making the boy giggle with the movement. "Wow! That's a nasty one!" He gets up to get rid of the soiled diaper while the tub fills. "When do you think we should head out?"

"Uh… probably after dark," Lizzy mentions, looking out the big picture window over the third floor as she walks back into the main motel room, the sun almost set and the sky already darkening. "I'd say nine-ish. That way we can have him back by eleven the latest, let him sleep the night through."

"Sounds good to me," Dean comments, laying Sammy on his back on a bed as he sets out wipes. "Alright, dude. No moving around too much, you hear me? I get poop on me and you're gonna pay."

Lizzy walks over to the desk, putting the appliances together as she laughs at the sound of gagging behind her.

And then the smell hits her.

"Whoa!" she says as she pauses, a paring knife in one hand and a carrot in the other when she looks behind her. "He bombed you!"

"Why is it always the smelliest ones when it's my turn to change him?" Dean then dry heaves a bit, only half meaning it.

"Because he knows not to piss off his momma," Lizzy jokes back. "Never bite the hand that feeds you." She holds up a carrot before she starts slicing it on a small wooden cutting board.

"Ugh… no… so gross…."

Lizzy laughs to herself as she listens to his complaints and whines behind her, smiling the entire time. He may bitch but she knows the smell of his own son's poop is nothing compared to what he's smelled on the job… and really, she knows which stench he'd prefer.

* * *

"This sucks," Lou complains as they exit the convenience store and head back to their stolen car of the week, a bag of fresh produce in Sam's hold.

"You'll live," Sam reminds her, knowing she's exaggerating.

"Hey, I'm not against healthy eating. What I am against is a raw vegan diet," she explains. "This is stupid."

"It's just until we take care of the Leviathan…."

"I get it," Lou reminds him. "Doesn't mean I have to _like_ it."

Sam sneaks his hand in hers as they walk, reminding her to focus on the good.

She smiles up at him a little, knowing what he's saying. She's out, she's hunting, and she can handle some raw, boring food in exchange. "Alright, tough guy… what's next?"

"Well, we're almost to the hideout so if we're heading in we should be prepared."

"So… morgue run then?" Lou asks, knowing that was the next step.

"Yeah… or…." Sam looks around himself at the loopy, whacked out citizens around him. No one seems aware of anything other than stuffing their faces and zoning out. And then he remembers the burnt out vampires that most likely feasted from people that had eaten modified corn syrup-laced food….

"Or… what?" Lou asks when Sam stops and stares at a man on a bench sipping a Big Gulp. "What's happening in that big brain, Giant?"

Sam drops her hand and gives her the bag of food. "Come with me."

She follows as they head for the man on the bench, Sam sitting to one side of him as he nods to his other side for Lou to do the same. She does.

When the man doesn't look at either of them, Sam's wide eyes land on Lou. She smiles when it clicks. They're swimming in blood better than a dead man's.

"Excuse me, sir," Sam says to the stranger. He turns his head and meets Sam's eyes, Sam smiling reassuringly. "Hi. We, uh, we're with the... Red Cross." He ignores Lou's stifled laugh at his improvisation. "See, we have an emergency shortage." He holds out his FBI badge. "And we're gonna need you to..."

He stops when he realizes the man isn't even blinking at him, his sights vacant while still on him.

"You're not getting a word I'm saying, are you?" Sam asks, already knowing.

"Hey, dude!" Lou practically yells at him, snapping her fingers in his face. He sluggishly peers at her finally and she realizes what they're dealing with. "Hold out your arm. We need your blood."

"Lou!" Sam yells at her for the blunt way she asks.

But then the man holds out his arm readily, no qualms about the weird request.

Lou's face lights up with how easy it was. "Think if I asked him to bark like a dog and hand over his wallet he would?' she wonders aloud with excitement.

Sam's angered face lets her know he doesn't think she's funny.

"I wouldn't actually do it," Lou tells him, bummed with his lack of lightness in the situation. She pulls out a couple empty syringes as she only assumed the morgue was the next stop. "Here," she hands them to Sam over the drugged man. "Tap the keg."

"Here?!" Sam asks, pulling the syringes out of sight quickly, not accustomed to doing any of what they do out in the open.

"Honey, look around us. It's like a fucking Grateful Dead concert out here," she gestures and Sam checks it out. No one seems with it and absolutely no eyes are on them. "Someone handed out the acid hits for free and everyone seems to have taken it. No one's looking. Show him a little prick, huh?" She winks.

Sam rolls his eyes at her joking. "I thought this was supposed to be a break from working with an always joking asshat," he bitches as he uncaps a needle and pulls the guy's hand towards him, turning it so the vein in the back of it is up and visible.

"Just trying to make you comfortable, sweetheart," Lou says, making her tone low and gravelly much like Dean's while she pulls an arm around the stranger's shoulder to make the situation look more casual.

"Not funny," Sam shudders, hating that his girlfriend is so much like his brother at times. He doesn't want to think about any possible Freudian meanings behind it. It's just weird.

As the man looks to Lou she smiles at him. He stops taking endless slow pulls from the straw in his drink to smile back. Lou just giggles at the dopey face. "At least everyone's happy while they become cattle."

Sam doesn't speak as he concentrates. He slowly slides the needle into the vein.

"Ow!" the man complains with no urgency or sharpness to his tone. "That hurts." His comment is lackluster and Sam doesn't worry too much, continuing to draw blood. The man turns back to Lou after looking down at his hand. "This is for Hurricane Katrina, you said?"

"Yes," Lou nods and goes with it, using a certain voice of what would be considered honesty. "That's exactly what this is for. Katrina."

"You have the flask on you?" Sam asks out of nowhere as he works.

"In the car," Lou answer.

"Good. Ok, uh… so," Sam starts to think head. "When we get there, to the Alpha's hideout, Bobby's gonna have to hang back." He glances at Lou and sees no reaction in her expression. "Do you disagree?"

"He's not gonna like it," Lou warns.

"I know…."

"He's the reason we even found Emily in the first place."

"Look, I'm Team Bobby, too. Okay?" Sam clarifies.

"We all are," Lou sadly tells him.

"But the more action he sees, the more chance he gets to spin out," he rebuts, changing the needle to collect enough blood for two syringes. "We don't need him screwing this up for us."

"Hey, I'm with you," Lou nods, knowing how hard it'll be but willing to do it for Bobby's sake. "We'll just stash the flask somewhere, keep him off the front lines. He can just stay behind at the motel with little Miss Lack-of-Sunshine over there and calmly wait for us to return." The sarcasm oozes from her mouth and Sam knows she's right to assume this will go south at some point.

"I know, he'll hate it…." Sam stops short when they hear the whoop of a police car siren once, then twice but without its usual pattern. He leans over to hide what he's doing.

They both watch as an officer behind the wheel of the cop car fumbles with his corn syrup-laced snack. The siren whoops once more, the car slowly rolling past them as War's 'Why Can't We Be Friends' blares from the speakers.

"If that's what it is to be a cop these days then I should've taken a totally different career path," Lou smirks at Sam as he gets back to filling a syringe.

"Done," Sam lets her know once he pulls the needle out of the stranger's hand and caps it, pocketing the useful weapon. "Let's go."

Sam gets up and Lou follows, shaking the dosed up man's hand. "We thank you for your service, sir."

"Welcome…." He keeps sipping his Big Gulp and returns to staring off into the distance at nothing.

"Jesus," Lou laughs a little as she heads for the car and gets into the driver's seat. "You gotta hand it to those Levis. They're smart as hell."

"Let's just hope we're smarter," Sam comments quickly and turns around to look at Emily in the backseat where she waited for them. "Emily, when they took you off to the Alpha, do you remember how long the drive was?"

"We left at night, got in before dawn," she vaguely answers.

"So, six, seven hours?"

"I think so, yes."

"Do you remember any highways?"

"No. We only took back roads."

Sam nods. "Ok. So, figure they averaged 45 miles per…."

"Would make it no more than 300 miles," Lou figures as she starts up the engine.

"Right."

Lou looks at Emily through the rearview mirror. "Do you know what direction were you going by chance?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry." She shrugs and looks downtrodden that she can't help more.

"Oh, that's okay. Emily, you're doing great," Sam smiles and assures her. "Um...is there anything else you remember?"

"Bells," she recalls. "As we pulled up, I heard these loud bells."

"It was still dark out?"

"You thinking church?" Lou wonders, knowing that if it was dark that wouldn't make sense.

"No, that's too early," Sam agrees with her thought assumption. "It could have been a monastery. Monks get up at 4 a.m. to pray."

Lou just gives him a dirty look. "Why does your brain work the way it does?"

"Just does," Sam brushes it off and keeps looking.

"Monks get up at four in the morning every day?" she asks him, surprised by that.

"Yeah."

"Damn," she thinks about it. "No sleeping late. No sex. Married to the church… at least they make all the most kick ass beers. Otherwise… what's the point?"

"Looks like there's one in our range," Sam says when he finds a monastery not too far. "Just outside Missoula."

"Missoula it is," Lou tells him and puts the car in drive, pulling out of their parking space. She then laughs to herself.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Lizard and Dean are at a nunnery, we're heading to a monk house… just kinda ironic if you think about it."

"That's not irony," Sam tells her with a grin.

"Yeah it is," she answers back.

"No, it's not," Sam corrects her lightly, no harshness meant. "It's more like a coincidence. Irony means that something happens the opposite way than it's expected to, like…."

"Like a black fly in your chardonnay?" Lou tries, proud smirk in place.

"Well… no…." Sam tries to explain but gets cut off.

"How about rain on your wedding day?" she keeps pushing, amused as all hell by herself. "Or maybe a free ride when you've already paid? Is it the good advice that you just didn't take…?"

"Alright, Alanis," Sam stops her there when he knows what she's doing. "That song never made sense. None of the things in it were ironic. All that stuff, it's not irony at all."

"Maybe that's the point," Lou figures. "Maybe when you know a song's name is 'Ironic' you expect to hear about ironic things… yet you get the opposite of expectation, thus making the very song itself ironic."

Sam's forehead wrinkles as he sits back in his passenger seat. Watching the road as they fly over it. Lou peeks at him and can practically hear his brain running a mile a minute.

"Blew your mind, didn't I?" she proudly grins.

"A little bit. Yeah," Sam huffs a laugh. "You might be on to something."

"Don't let these good looks fool you," she smirks. "I'm brains too."

Sam huffs a laugh at her. "Alright, brains. Just get us onto route 12."

"Will do, Chicky," she says and winks at him.

* * *

"This is stupid."

"This isn't stupid," Lizzy says with a smile, adjusting straps for him as she gets the fairly new item secured across his chest. "You need to have your hands free to help, just in case."

"I can't believe you bought one of these things," Dean rolls his eyes, embarrassed already.

"They come in handy. I've used it before and trust me, it's a god-send," she tells him, straightening from her hunched position to look him in the eye. "Feel good?"

"I feel like a soccer mom," Dean responds with an acrid tone.

"Well, you _look_ like a really good dad," she turns it around, trying to be cheerful despite Dean not liking her sunshine. Lizzy bends down into the open back door of the car as it's parked outside of The Sisters of Saint Benedict Convent. She stands back up and has Sammy in her grip, the little boy already bathed and in his pajamas. "Alright, Sammy-baby! Look sharp!" She hold him out in front of her. "You ready to exhume your first corpse, sweetie?" She then blows a raspberry onto his cheek and he laughs.

"Oh, _really_?" Dean bitches, completely unamused by her taking what they have to do and making it acceptable. It isn't.

"Hey, if we have to bring him on an errand this dark and screwed up then I'm not letting him in on how bad it is," Lizzy explains with a light and happy tone, strapping Sammy into the device Dean's wearing. "He might not remember this but he'll remember feelings. He's felt scared far too often. Only good vibes from now on."

"We shouldn't have brought him," Dean reminds her as she makes sure Sammy's in securely.

"He can't be left alone," she responds simply.

"I could have done this myself," he rebuts.

"And I told you no way in hell, Hot Shot," she reminds him and looks up at her husband with a smile. "No going it alone with the Leviathan running around looking for us." She then kisses him quickly once before backing up and looking at them both. She just laughs.

Dean's shoulders are slumped with what she's made him do. Strapped to his chest in a Baby Bjorn is a smiling, happy Sammy with his back to his dad. Sammy's grinning. Dean's scowling.

"You guys are so cute," Lizzy coos, unable to help it.

"Oh, bite me," Dean bitches as he walks to the trunk and unlocks it. "I'm about a pair of jorts and some mid-calf white socks away from being a _dad_."

"Baby, you _are_ a dad," Lizzy reminds sharply.

"Yeah, and I don't wanna be a lame one," Dean fires back as he hands her a sledgehammer.

"You'll never be a lame dad," Lizzy rolls her eyes. "Because you know I'd never have sex with you if you dressed like a lame dad. I'll keep you in check."

Dean considers this for a moment. He nods as he gives over her Glock. "Fair enough."

She checks the clip. Full. "Nice. Thanks."

"Welcome," Dean grins lightly, dropping his own Colt down the back of his jeans. He then takes out a sawed off. "Hey, uh… you got the…."

"Right here," Lizzy tells him, grabbing the noise cancelling headset in Sammy's size. She puts them gently over his head and Sammy immediately grabs at them, hating them. "You're gonna have to make sure he doesn't pull them off."

"Better then blowing his eardrums if we find company." Dean adjusts the headset when Sammy yanks one end. He then lifts one side and tells him, "You gotta be a man about this. Keep 'em on, bud."

Lizzy huffs a laugh.

"Think they work well enough?" Dean question, looking at the blue protective coverings with wonder.

"Sammy!" Lizzy yells and the boy doesn't look at her, just lets his eyes wander around the back of the building. "Sammy! Look at momma!"

Nothing.

"Awesome," Dean nods after seeing the display. "So I can say anything to you right now and he'd never hear it?"

"Anything," she confirms.

"Like, I can tell you how fucking much I want to see those lips wrapped around my cock later so I can watch you suck me dry… and he can't hear that?"

She grins. "He has no idea you even mentioned your cock in my mouth."

"Huh…." Dean starts thinking aloud as he looks down at the back of Sammy's head. "Shit. Asshole. Fuck. Cocksucker. Mother fucker. Balls."

Lizzy just laughs as Dean runs through as many curse words as his brain can come up with.

Dean's eyes light up as he looks at her. "Think he'll sleep in these things?"

"It's a thought," Lizzy laughs and turns, walking for the back door of the large, abandoned convent. "Grab the crow bar for me?"

"Will you let me fuck your mouth later?" he tries again, that boyish smile on his face when he thinks he's being slick.

"Only if you wear the Baby Bjorn while I'm on my knees," Lizzy jokes absently as she checks out the heavy wooden door that's locked tight. "I find it sexy."

Dean stands completely still with a disgusted face on. "You're fucking sick, you know that?"

"Dude, not with Sammy in it!" Lizzy yells at him for thinking such a way. "Fucking idiot. Just… get me the crowbar."

"Your mother is a sick, sick lady," Dean mutters to Sammy, the boy still unable to hear anything being said. Once he has the iron tool, he walks for Lizzy and hands it over.

"Alright," she grins, happy to be active again. She jams the end into the crease of the door and frame, prying the old structure open after who knows how many years of being shut. It takes some time, Dean holding a flashlight to help her out, but she gets the old door to groan and squeal open eventually.

She shoves it the last bit open with all her strength as Dean stands back and watches.

"Damn," he awes when she does it. "Haven't lost a step there, have you, momma?"

"Hell no," she sighs and rolls out her shoulders. "That little dude is heavy as hell. Holding him all damn day is my workout. Let's go."

Lizzy takes the salt round loaded gun from Dean and heads in first, her adrenaline high with being in the game at all for once. It's an easy task but it still feels damn good.

"Excited much?" Dean comments when he follows her through the door, ducking cobwebs hanging from the low hallway ceiling. "Shit," he complains, pulling a web from his forehead and eye. "How old is this place?"

"Closed for about eighty years so… old." Lizzy keeps moving, using the light Dean shines for her to guide her way. After some searching they find the crypt and she pulls out a printed page of the women interned in the old convent. She passes it to Dean.

Reading it over, he tells her, "Okay, well, there was… Sister Mary Eunice. Fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60…."

"Eh. She sounds political," Lizzy worries.

"And power does corrupt," Dean answers while reading into a new option. They get one shot. They better get a truly pure human. "Um... how about this one… Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness." He looks up at her. "What do you think?"

"I like her," Lizzy answers, figuring it can't get any better than that.

Dean nods and looks back down, reading through Sister Mary Constant's accomplishments. "Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this."

"That's got to be what we want then," Lizzy tells him, smiling.

"Alright, well, I lay odds on her," Dean tells her, pocketing the papers and once more holding up his flashlight. They search the wall of crypts and find Sister Mary Constant. He brushes off some cobweb to be sure it's her. It is. "Well... get to work, L. Go ahead and bone this nun."

Lizzy's face drops with the crudeness. "She was a good woman… better than any of us will ever be."

"Sorry," Dean makes an ashamed face. "At least it's safe to say that she'd probably be cool with us using her leg bone to save the world… now that she's not using it and all."

Lizzy makes a face of agreement as she presses a hand to Mary Constant's plaque. "I really hope she does. We need her."

She steps back, rests the sawed-off shotgun on the wall of crypts, and grips the sledgehammer tightly in both hands. She turns back to look at Sammy, his little hands pulling his headset off again so she nods for Dean to fix it.

"Come on, dude," Dean barely scolds as he adjusts the little blue headset, keeping his hands over the ear pieces to ensure it doesn't move. He nods. "Let 'er rip."

Lizzy smiles just a little. She's useful to a hunt. That's a damn good feeling.

She swings hard and smashes the head of the sledgehammer into the plaque. It cracks and she's feeling a smidgen of satisfaction seep in. She gives it two more solid swings and the crypt is busted open.

Coughing with the dust and decay in the air, Lizzy waves the cloud away from her face. "You might want to cover his face a little."

Dean lightly places his hand over Sammy's nose and mouth to try and keep some of the dust out… and the smell, of course. "Just grab a bone quick so we can get him outta here."

"Yeah, yeah," Lizzy brushes his hurry-up message to her and she reaches in blindly. Feeling around she touches one longer bone than the rest. She pulls it out. "Gotcha. Ok." She holds it up to Dean, the femur bone what they decided they should look for.

Dean nods and they start to make their way out.

"That wasn't so bad, huh?" Lizzy says to him, grinning as she follows behind.

"Luckily," Dean says, grabbing his son's hand as he's strapped to him. He squeezes it a little, Sammy gripping his index finger as he does, and he thanks their lucky stars no ghosts happen to be lurking around. He doesn't want Sammy near any of that crap.

When they make it back to the car Lizzy pops the trunk and packs everything up. "No getting pulled over, huh?" she says to Dean as he pulls Sammy out of the Baby Bjorn. "I feel like having all these weapons _and_ parts of a dead person in our trunk wouldn't look very good."

"Whatever. Just get me outta this thing," Dean complains once Sammy is sitting in his car seat. He pulls at the straps of the Baby Bjorn and can't get it off. "I can feel my awesomeness fading the longer I have it on."

"Dude, no one thinks you're less awesome for this," Lizzy reminds, shutting the trunk and walking over to help him. She unhooks a couple things and it's off. "I actually think you look hotter in it."

"Ha-ha," Dean fake laughs at her as she tosses the item into the backseat.

"I'm serious," Lizzy tells him as she pauses and looks right up at him, hands on his chest where the harness used to be. She doesn't joke when she says, "You being a great dad is a total turn on."

"Seriously?" Dean asks with excitement at the prospect of his fatherhood helping him get laid.

"It's how we women are hardwired. A good dad is always way hotter because he's a good dad."

"Wait…" Dean stops as his hands come to her ass in a slide around her hips. He then grips hard and pulls her in against his chest, making her squeal small with the suddenness. "So, if I really do put that thing on later… you'll get on your knees for me?"

"You'll just have to see, now won't you?" Lizzy jokes right back and kisses him full on the lips, diving a bit deeper than she intended before pulling back. "Let's get back and get him to bed."

"So we can fool around?" Dean tries once more. Now that he has sex on the brain he's not going to give up.

"We'll see how it goes with putting him down first," Lizzy laughs and bends down to click Sammy into his car seat.

Dean smirks, ideas already forming, as he pulls open the driver's side door to leave.

* * *

"What's a Kardashian?"

Lou and Sam pause from the other bed in the motel room where they're packing up weaponry to head for the Alpha vamp headquarters. Emily's eyes are glued to the TV screen as she watches some trashy pop-culture news show.

"A whole different type of bloodsucker," Lou quickly answers, grinning at Sam for her quick thinking. He doesn't react to the stupid joke. When she looks back at Emily she sees the girl looks horrified. "Oh, honey. No. It was a joke."

She breathes out in relief but looks still very much confused.

"They're just vapid human celebrities that have too much money and fame," Sam assures her. "Lou's humor isn't always so sharp."

"Dick," Lou says to him. "I'm funny."

"No, you _think_ you're funny," Sam argues back, smirking.

"Fine, I'll show you funny the next time you want this and I refuse," she gripes, sour mood seeping in.

Sam laughs hard at her. "Ok, so maybe you're a little funny."

"What? That time I wasn't even trying to be funny," Lou lets him know.

"Yeah, but you refusing sex? That's the best joke you've ever made," Sam huffs a little and packs the rest of what they might need, zipping the bag closed.

Lou nods, accepting it. "Guess that is a little funny."

"It's hilarious," Sam promises, pulling the bag strap over his shoulder. Lou pulls the old, dented flask of Bobby's out of the side pocket.

As Lou puts the flask in the room safe and sets a code for it, Sam pulls a scrap of paper out of his back pocket and walks for Emily.

"Here," he hands it over. "If we're not back by dawn, call this number. Jody Mills. She's a friend. She'll take care of you. Here, use this phone." He gives her a cell from their stash.

"You have to stay in this room," Lou adds in once the flask is secure. "Keep the doors locked and don't let anyone in. We just need you to sit tight until we get back."

Emily nods and looks up at Sam. "Thank you."

The sincerity of her thanks makes him smile, remembering that this is why they do what they do. Sometimes the reminder makes it all worth it. "You bet."

"We'll be back as soon as we can," Lou tries one last time to keep Emily assured as she opens the door to leave. The door knob flies out of her hand as it slams shut with hard force.

She and Sam share a look. Bobby. He's pissed that their grounding him.

Turning to Emily, Lou plasters on a fake smile. "It was the wind." She then turns back to the door and reopens it, leaving quickly while whispering, "Take it down, Bobby. You gotta sit on the bench for this one."

When they're gone, Bobby stands there. He looks at Emily as the rage fills his being, fired up by the sidelining.

After about a minute, Bobby watches Emily stand up off the motel bed. She takes a look at the paper Sam gave her before crumpling it up and tossing it on the ground. She then dials a number on the cell phone Sam gave her, clearly not as out of touch with technology as she let on to be.

"Hi, daddy," she smiles when the line picks up on the other end.

And Bobby only gets angrier. "Why, you little schemer."

"No, I'm close by. Sending you a present," Emily proudly tells the person on the other line.

Sam and Lou heading for a trap. Emily told on them. His kids are in danger.

"Those idjits," Bobby shakes his head at Sam and Lou for not seeing it and he disappears from the motel room as Emily leaves, needing to somehow warn them if he can.

* * *

 


	7. Bone and Blood (Part 2)

**Just a heads up, this whole chapter will switch between Dean/Lizzy/Sammy, Sam/Lou, and at one point Bobby on his own.  Everything is happening simultaneously.**

* * *

"This is stupid," Lou warns again as she and Sam walk casually up to the monastery. In broad daylight. Without hiding.

"You got a better idea?" Sam asks, looking at the cracked open front door.

"Yeah!" she harshly whispers and follows. "Break in the back way and drain this bitch without being seen!"

"Honesty might be the best policy here," Sam reminds her.

"You really believe that, don't you?" Lou snaps as Sam pushes the front door open.

"I do… shit!" Sam exclaims before being grabbed.

"Sam!?" Lou rushes through the door after him with fear, getting grabbed right after him.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Careful," Lizzy whispers, watching Dean move as slowly and gently as he can as he's hunched over Sammy passed out on his back on one of the queen beds in the motel room.

He places the noise cancelling head set ever so carefully over Sammy's ears, the child having been asleep for a full twenty minutes now. When they're in place, Dean lets the item go and slowly backs away, face of pure awe as he's even impressed himself at this point. Sammy doesn't always sleep so soundly. He must be exhausted.

"Nice work, Hot Shot," Lizzy smiles at him with impression.

"Thank you," he nods appreciatively in a semi-bow. He then walks off for the bathroom, leaving the door open.

"Uh," Lizzy lets out a sigh as she flops onto her back on the other bed. "I'm tired."

"No you're not," Dean says to her from the bathroom.

"We drove for miles with a baby. It took a whole day."

"We do that every week… sometimes twice," he says to her while working away in the bathroom. "Hell, sometimes four times."

"Not Sammy and me," she reminds. "We were living pretty comfortably in a house for over a month. It was nice. And we didn't drive further than the park."

"Yeah, well… you wanted us back together, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then I come with stipulations, sweetheart."

"I'd rather drive with you than stay put, don't worry," Lizzy smiles lightly, reveling in the fact that they're together.

"Good," Dean says as he walks out of the bathroom. He strikes a Superman pose for her, hands in fists at his hips as he looks to the side with an expression of pride. "So, how do I look? Like a good dad?"

One glance at him and she's doubled over in laughter. Dean's standing in front of her with the empty Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest… and not a single other item of clothing on.

"Oh my God!" she gets out while in hysterics, the look of him ridiculous at best.

"Hey, we had a deal," Dean points at her, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he watches her fall apart with his appearance.

"I never made any deals!"

"You told me you'd get on your knees if I wore this and only this," he reminds her, full blown grinning now.

"No, _you_ told me I'd get on my knee if you wore that and only that. There's a difference," Lizzy laughs out, losing it.

"Hey, I got this piece of confusing crap on all by myself. I deserve a reward for that," he jokes some more, still hating the thing.

"Oh, you think so?" she asks, quieting her laughs. He does look silly but at the same time it actually does remind her of how amazing a father he's turning out to be.

"I know so," Dean says, sure of it.

"Well… in that case…." Lizzy keeps eye contact as she slides herself off the edge of the mattress and kneels on the floor across the room from him.

Dean's eyes blow wide and his grin drops. "Seriously?"

Lizzy licks her lips. "Seriously. Get over her, daddy."

As her words rush through him in a jolt of want, Dean takes a step forward…

…and stops when a well-known ghost flashes into vision right in front of him, blocking his path.

"You gotta call Lou and Sam!" Bobby says to Lizzy quickly the second he's able to manifest in the motel room. His back is to Dean and he's standing between the two of them at a most inopportune time.

"Crap," Dean quietly angers out with shock as he rushes back into the bathroom and out of sight, the door cracked so he can hear what's going on without being visible.

"Bobby… what the fuck…?" Lizzy starts to ask but her father figure isn't willing to wait.

"Call Lou now!" Bobby tells her, pointing to the phone on the nightstand he sees as she stands up from the floor. "They're walking head first into a trap and we need to warn them!"

"What trap!?" Lizzy starts to get very scared. That ominous explanation combined with Bobby's agitated state has her alarmed already. She snatches her phone off the nightstand.

"They went after the Alpha but he knows their coming," Bobby fires out, getting madder and madder by the second. "Time's wasting! Dial!"

"Shit," Lizzy says as she opens the contacts and dials Lou's cell. She listens to it ring. And ring. And ring….

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"I told you this was a bad fucking idea," Lou half whispers, not really caring if the vampires manhandling them through the monastery hear her or not. They were caught. Sam wanted to walk through the front door like an idiot and, like a bigger idiot, she followed him against her better judgment.

Sam ignores her to speak to the captors. "Listen, we aren't here for a fight…."

"That's why you walked in here machetes out, right?" smirks a male Vamp holding his right arm as Sam pulls on him to slow down and listen.

"That's just it, we _walked_ in here," Sam points out. "Of course we took precautions but we just want to talk."

The three other vampires all laugh at the idea as the fourth keeps talking. "We'll just see how he feels about that."

Lou and Sam are pressed front first into the wall of one of the hallways and frisked. Every weapon and syringe is taken off of them while they're pinned in place.

"Yup, awesome plan…" Lou complains, so pissed that they took this route. She right then feels her phone in her jeans pocket vibrating.

The vampire notices too. He pulls it out and looks at the screen. "Well, guess Lizzy will just have to wait, hm?" he tells her before dropping it to the floor and stepping on it.

"Fucking asshole," she mutters, pictures of Sammy that have been on there now lost.

The vampire yanks her ponytail back and her head tilts hard, Sam flinching with the sudden harsh move. "Watch your mouth, Lou. Don't think our Father's gonna take too kindly to that tone. Let's go."

They both get shoved down the hallway a little further, on their way to seeing the Alpha.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Shit. She's not answering," Lizzy tells him when the call goes to voicemail. "Louie! Bobby just showed up! He says wherever you're going, it's a trap! Don't go in! Call me the second you get this!"

"What the hell is going on?" Dean asks, walking into the main room as he pulls down the t-shirt he just put back on, now dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.

"Balls!" Bobby complains and paces the room. "That Alpha knows they're coming."

"What!?" Lizzy asks, blood turning to ice in her veins.

"How?" Dean wonders, not seeing how they could have screwed up so badly.

"Long story short, they saved some girl the Alpha held captive but she's got one hell of a case of Stockholm Syndrome. She tipped 'em off."

"Where are they?" Dean wonder, looking around the room to guess how long it would take to pack up and get to them.

"Montana. Ya ain't gonna get there fast enough and they locked the damn flask in the motel safe." He sighs heavily. "What the hell were they thinking!?"

The mirror over the desk in the room cracks into pieces and Lizzy stares wide eyed at the damage that Bobby caused with just his anger. "Bobby, you might need to calm down…."

"They should be goin' after Dick by now!" Bobby fires out and bulb inside the lamp on the nightstand bursts.

"Hey, hey, hey," Dean says calmly as he steps towards Bobby with his palms out. "Deep breathe, Bobby."

"I don't breathe!" he fires back, not coming down at all.

"They can handle it," Dean lies completely. He has no idea what's going to happen and the second they get Bobby to relax a bit he's on his phone calling Sam.

"If you're not gonna help them, then I guess it's all on me!" Bobby shouts and blinks out once more, the chill in the room dissipating, and Lizzy left standing there with shock on her face as Dean walks for her.

"You alright?" he asks, knowing she must be jarred. She used to get upset when Bobby would be even the slightest bit mad at her when he was alive. This is far worse.

"No… but it's fine," she shakes her head, the distress of the moment all over her face. "Call Sam. Now."

Dean grabs his phone from the bed Sammy's asleep on and calls up Sam right away….

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Sam can feel the vibration of his phone in his front pocket as he and Lou get shoved into a big, ornate dining room. He doesn't have time to even wonder who it might be calling as he stumbles forward a bit. Once he stands up tall he looks down from his end of the long, wooden carved dining table to see exactly who he came here to talk to seated at the other end.

"A Winchester," the Alpha Vampire comments when he sees Sam. His eyes slide to his side to see a petite woman with terribly dyed red hair and an angry scowl on her face. "And Louise Becker. I'm intrigued."

Lou's eyes widen huge when he says her name. "I'm sorry… have we met?"

"Never formally, but I never forget one of my children," he tells her in his deep voice, a twitch of a smile in the corner of his mouth. "You were one of mine for quite some time, if my math is right. Four years."

"I was in Purgatory for most of that so…" she just shrugs, her heart pounding in his presence. She had heard so much about him in her time as a vampire. If the vampire legends are even half true she should be terrified.

"Nasty place, Purgatory… from what I hear at least," he snarls with the name of the place. "From what I had hoped for you, it was a shame you were gone for so long. It would have been lovely having you on our side."

"The whole… blood drinking thing? Didn't agree with me, thanks," Lou comments, ready to spew more sarcasm but it interrupted when a door to the side of the room opens.

"Emily," Sam says sharply the second he sees the girl walk into the room, the kneejerk fear and worry for her hitting him hard.

But then she keeps walking, her feet taking her right towards the Alpha. "Hi, Sam," she greets light and cheery as she leans into the side of the wooden chair, carved and designed to look nothing less than a throne, her hand coming to the Alpha's shoulder with a warm smile.

"You gotta be shitting me," Lou comments as they see it all for what it is. They were duped. "Oscar worthy performance there, honey."

"You were gonna hurt my daddy," she explains easily, her smile even wider to be in the Alpha's presence. He hums as he touches her hand and she looks at home.

"As much as I feel like hurting your daddy would be retribution for all I've been through... we weren't gonna do that." She looks to the side at Sam with a patronizing smile, still pissed that she went with his idea. "My man here had a better idea. It was a terrible one but he's lucky I like him."

The Alpha snarls. "A Winchester with one of my own. How very fascinating how this world tends to work out."

"I ain't yours, pal," Lou reminds strongly. "Not anymore."

"Look. We're here to talk. That's it," Sam prepares to put it all out on the table and get this show on the road.

The Alpha just laughs at him. "Now that my guys have taken your blades and your syringes of tainted blood. Is that what you mean?"

"We just wanted protection in case we were attacked before we could talk to you," Sam honestly explains. "The weapons were a backup plan."

"Do you see me as that kind of a savage, to bite first and question everything later?" he wonders, thinking himself more stately and civilized than all that.

"Well… aren't you?" Lou asks, knowing from the inside of the vamp organization that he is that savage.

One of the vampires behind her, guarding the main door out of the room, moves forward immediately and grabs the back of her head. He slams her forward and her face smashes into the heavy wooden table before she falls to her knees with the massive hit she never saw coming.

"Lou!" Sam shouts and steps towards, the other vampires on guard moving closer to him, prepared to stop him. He pauses, not reaching for her in order to keep things calm and together, despite his pull to make sure she's well. He'd dying inside when she tries to slowly get up with a dazed look in her eyes and her hand to her mouth, blood dripping from her lips.

"Don't think I deserved that…." Lou complains, getting up with effort.

"Lou?" Sam tries again, this time making no moves towards her.

"I'm fine, Sam," Lou mutters, spitting blood onto the floor and knowing what the scent might be doing to the creatures in the room.

"I'm going to peel off your faces and drink you slowly…" the Alpha starts, getting angry with their presence in his home.

"Just listen," Sam nearly begs. "You _need_ us."

"Oh, yes. I am _thirsty!_ "

"The plague! We know what it is!" Sam gets desperate, thinking he has limited time to get him to listen as he grows impatient. "What do you know about Leviathan?"

The Alpha snarls. "A bit."

"You know they're poisoning the food supply?" Sam asks, ready to get it all out there, needing to get the Vampire on their side.

"Roman didn't mention that when we met for dinner last fall."

With the information, Lou sighs and drops her head heavily. "Of course," she mutters under her breathe.

"We made lots of plans," The Alpha continues. "We are on excellent terms, he and I."

"Roman's a lying dick," Lou fires out with anger.

"Roman is on our side," the Vampire rebuts. "Monster to monster congeniality and all."

"Did he forget to tell you that the OG Cush he was lacing the food with would be poison for vamps all around the country?" Lou keeps trying. "I doubt he did."

It's small but the quick change in the Alpha's expression with the news, that of serious surprise and concern, isn't lost on Sam. He saw it.

"He said you'd all live together, didn't he?" Sam questions, the lack of respond a positive answer. "You really believe him? You think your children are dying by accident? There's pesticide in the formula!"

"It suits you to think so," he excuses, not ready to believe he's been duped. "You need me on your side."

"Dude, we're not the ones being burned from the inside out when we grab a snack, okay?" Lou points out. "Think about what's happening here. Your children are dying because they just want to eat. That's never happened before now. Why do you think that is?"

With her mouth running like that, the Alpha eyes her. "Shame you somehow made it back and returned to your former, human form. I like your conviction. I like your strength."

"I like that you're not stupid," Lou tells him, turning it around. "You've been around longer than I can fathom. Don't start being stupid now. Listen to us. You gonna let that Leviathan trick you into extinction?"

"Think about it. Whatever deal he made with you was crap!" Sam adds in.

"And I'm not saying this makes us friends," Lou sets it straight. "I'm not gonna lie and make it sound like we're buddy-buddy. We just need to off the bigger bad that's far bigger than both of us right now before both you and I become nothing."

The Alpha takes a moment, looking down at the table to think all they tell him over. He then glances at Emily by his side, her face slightly fearful with everything they're being told, and he looks back at the hunter with new eyes. They aren't lying… possibly. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because we can stop Dick." Lou smiles, knowing he's coming around.

"We can stop all of it," Sam tells him. "We just… we need your blood for the weapon."

The Vampire chuckles to himself. "So now you want to prevent the extermination of the vampire race."

"Hell no," Lou answers very quickly, the words out before her brain can catch up. "I want to stab you in your smug face for what your kind has done to me. But today, stopping the end of the vamps… well, it beats going down _with_ you."

The side door opens once more and everyone looks to it, watching a very young boy walk into the room.

"Allan, darling..." the Alpha starts as the boy walks to the opposite side of him than Emily.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Lou balls her fists and breathes out hard, her blood boiling with anger over the way the Alpha conducts his business. How many kids has he stolen?

"Hey," Sam whispers to her, just enough to get her attention. When she locks eyes with him he makes a gesture, lowering his hand to tell her to take it down. Of course, she rolls her eyes at him.

"What's wrong?" the Alpha asks him.

"Edgar's here," Allen tells him.

Lou and Sam's stomachs drop to the ground as they exchange very concerned expressions. Alpha vamp and his minions was enough. Now a Leviathan in the mix? They weren't ready for this, especially with no weapons.

"What a fucking coincidence!" Lou's arms fly out by her sides with defeat.

Sam stays focused. "We need soap. Any cleaner with borax in it, it'll burn them and make them weak. And we need knives…"

The Alpha holds up a hand to stop him. He then looks to his guards. "Put them in the study."

"What?!" Sam asks, horrified.

"No! You need us!" Lou yells at him. "We can help you take care of Edgar!"

"Word of advice," the Alpha stops them both. "You do not live through centuries of fire and ice and continental divide... by jumping to conclusions."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Son of a bitch," Dean complains as he also gets a voicemail message for the third time. Neither are picking up the phone. They must already be at where they were headed. "Damn it, Sam! Answer the phone!" Dean complains as he starts to leave a message. "Ghost Dad was here and he said you're walking into a trap. Call me! And you better not be dead!"

He tosses his phone back onto the bed, Sammy still asleep and none the wiser with his headset on.

"What the fuck do we do?" Lizzy asks him, confused.

"We leave and head towards them," Dean tells her, pulling his duffle off the floor and onto the foot of a bed, ready to pack quickly.

"Towards them where?" she points out. "We don't even know where in Montana they are."

"Well we can't just sit here," Dean says with an edge to his voice.

"We can't just pack up a sleeping baby and drive in whatever direction we guess… and towards an Alpha at that."

"I'm not gonna sit here while Sam's out there with his balls in the Alpha Vamp's clutches!" Dean yells at her.

"Don't scream at me," Lizzy tells him right away.

"I'm not screaming at you!" he screams in frustration, completely going against what he's telling her.

She eyes him hard and he takes it down a notch, backing a step away from his duffle.

With a heavy sigh, he tells her calmly as he can, "Ok, so maybe I was screaming at you."

"You're not good at helplessness, I know," Lizzy reminds him that she knows him well. "But… it's Sam. And it's Lou. Between the two of them they've conquered Hell, Purgatory, Lucifer, and everything in between. You think they can't handle some vamps?"

"It's the Alpha."

"So?"

"And it's a trap."

"And how many traps have you walked into, yet here you are," Lizzy shrugs.

Dean washes a hand down his face with her good point. "So you're not even worried a little bit?"

"Oh, I'm crazy worried," Lizzy admits. "But at the same time, if anyone can handle it, it's them. I have faith in them."

Dean nods, gritting his teeth. "So what do we do, sit on our thumbs?"

"And wait for them to call us back, yes," Lizzy tells him. "There's nothing we can do. Not right now."

Dean walks across the room just to let out some nervous energy. Lizzy says nothing, just lets him. She does get how hard this is.

And she doesn't know what to do either. The helplessness is awful.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"You got anything?" Lou asks as she yanks on the door handle of the room she and Sam have been locked into. It doesn't budge and since her lock pick was taken when they arrived she's not getting past this door.

"Nothing," Sam answers, trying the yank open a window one more time. He gives up.

"We could always just break the window and run," Lou suggests.

"You don't think they'd hear that and come after us?" Sam counters, knowing it'd never get them far.

"True," she sighs.

"You think Edgar's here for the same reason we are?" Sam wonders aloud as they stand in the middle of the room and look around, trying to be creative about weapons and escape plans. "I mean, look, if they figured out that we're here to get Alpha blood for a weapon..."

"I think the fact that the Alpha and Edgar are both here just spells we're screwed," Lou tells him her honest opinion on their situation. "Trust me, the Alpha is smarter than smart. I know firsthand. Why the hell do you think he locked us in here?"

"We're his enemy." Sam huffs a laugh of helplessness. "And they're, like, monster cousins or something, aren't they?"

"Don't compare us to those dipshit Leviathan!" Lou angrily counters and Sam just looks at her with a shocked face.

"Um… us who?" Sam asks, knowing she's slipped up a bit with that one. She's identifying with the vampires in the situation.

"Not… _us_ ," she tries to clarify as her cheeks heat up. How embarrassing. "Just… even in Purgatory there was a clear line between Leviathans and… well, everything else. Vampires aren't even close to the scum that Levis are."

Sam pauses again, worry ruling his system. "Are you gonna be able to whack the Alpha if it comes to that?"

"Of course!" Lou gets insulted. "Why wouldn't I!?"

"Because he was your father or whatever for four years," Sam reminds her. "That's a long time."

"He wasn't _my_ father, okay?" Lou darkly tells him and he understand through her tone that he needs to shut up now. Hands on her hips, she looks around and sees an IV bag with hose and needle attached. "Hey." She picks it up and shows the needle to Sam, knowing who the more skilled in lock picking is in this room. "You think you could pick a lock with this?"

Sam doesn't answer, just quirks up one corner of his mouth and takes it from her, unscrewing it from the hose. "Only problem is, we gave up all our Vamptonite."

"Says you," Lou smiles, already proud of herself as she walks to the table next to Sam. While keeping eye contact with him, she lifts her foot and plants a boot into the surface. She then reaches down and pulls a hidden syringe from the heavy sock that just sticks out the top of her boot.

"It worries me how sneaky you are," Sam lets her know as he takes the needle from the IV and heads to unlock the door.

"What!? Sneaky?" Lou feigns insult. "More like brilliant…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Standing in the motel room, his flask locked away in the safe, Bobby paces. The fire place roars to life, drawers in furniture fly open, lights flicker, and Bobby's rage grows by the second.

"Gotta get outta here," he comments as the television turns itself on. He pauses and watches as a reporter speaks of Richard Roman Enterprises and the massive leaps and bounds the company has made in the past few months.

His anger goes into overdrive, shattering a mirror and a ceiling light.

Interrupting his ire-tantrum, the maid knocks on the door. "Hello?"

Bobby gets an idea.

The maid enters the room, immediately crossing her arms and shivering with the extreme cold in the air. Her breath comes out in puffs of white.

Bobby appears to her out of thin air and she jumps at the shock of it.

"I need your help."

Fear. It's all over her. "Get away from me." She tries to run but Bobby teleports, materializing in front of her again and blocking her.

"Listen, I need out of here," he nearly begs.

"Please!" she screams and runs for the door.

Bobby lunges after her, diving onto the woman. He gets into her when he jumps for her, possessing her with the amount of strength he's been able to build up. They fall to the ground together.

After a second, the maid's body sits up slowly and brushes away the dark liquid ectoplasm leaking from one of her eyes.

"Just need you a little while," Bobby explains to the maid in her own voice as he stands up and heads immediately for the safe. He's corporeal in every sense and it'll make this jail break a whole lot easier now. "Just till I get the bastard."

He gets ready to try every combination he can think of. He gets it on the first attempt.

Sammy's birthday.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"We come from you," they hear the Alpha say, a touch of anger in his tone.

"Barely," Edgar returns without fear.

"Sounds like trouble in paradise," Sam flatly comments within a whisper as they slink down the hallway together, their machetes in hand after finding their stashed weapons in the kitchen.

"I am the son of Eve!" the Alpha yells and Lou shakes her head.

"Yeah, I think their business deal is falling through," she agrees.

"A pathetic mutt," Edgar brushes the mention of Eve aside. "Hardly one of us. I knew Eve, and honestly... your mommy was a whore."

They hear the scuffle happening right after the Alpha's voice growls. It's hit the fan.

"Come on," Sam says to her a little louder and they drop the spy act. They run down the hallway. By the time they get into the large dining room they watch as the Alpha Vampire douses Edgar with the cleaning solution that was clearly in the silver bowl on the table. Edgar starts to sizzle and burn and Sam sees his opportunity.

He runs up behind him just as he's about to start eating the Alpha and swings hard with his machete. Edgar's head goes flying and his body drops into a pile.

There's a pause for a moment. Lou standing beside Sam and the Alpha looking at them with wide eyes, shocked that they saved him.

But then Lou's brain kick starts. "Grab a glass. We're juicing this freak!" She marches towards the Alpha with her machete raised.

"No!" Emily shouts and stands between the two, protecting her captor.

"Back off, purity ring," Lou warns, not wanting to hurt the girl.

With the threat, the Alpha reaches past his girl and grabs Lou's jacket by the lapels. When threatened, he will defend his children not unlike any other parent. Clearly the hunter doesn't understand that.

When Lou's back slams into the table after being flipped harshly onto it, her eyes looking above her with shock, the Alpha leans down closely to her, fangs bared. "You may have been my child for a time, but you no longer are. I do not have any qualms about killing you."

"Back away from her!" Booms out Sam's voice.

The Alpha looks behind him to see Sam standing with Emily in a head lock, his machete to her throat.

"I'll let your girl go if you let mine go," Sam says with a steeled face, absolutely filled with fire over the threat to Lou.

The Alpha backs away a step from Lou and Sam lets Emily go, the young girl running for the Vampire immediately. She hugs him hard around the middle and he pets her long hair.

"Easy now, Emily," he tells her with her upset state. "I'd never let these swine hurt you."

"Now, that's rich... coming from the guy who took her off the swing-set," Sam counters with anger as he helps Lou off the table quickly, both ready with their machetes as fast as possible.

And the Alpha is fed up with the hunters. "Do you want to do this fight, or do you want my blood?"

Neither hunter speaks. They weren't ready for that question.

The Alpha walks over to the head of the table, Emily following closely behind him, and he takes a seat once more at the head of the long ornate table. With a long fingernail he slices his wrist and lets his blood drip into a goblet from his place setting.

Once he feels he's let enough collect, he stands once more and hands the glass to Sam, the responsible one of the two. "For taking care of Edgar. Now go."

"What about the little boy?" Sam asks, knowing how hard he is pushing his luck.

"Are you joking!?" the Vampire outrages.

"How many other kids you do you have stashed away?" Lou asks him, eyeing him hard.

"At the moment, just him."

Lou twirls her machete once, ready to fight him for the right to save Allen. Emily is long gone, her damage so deep that she really does look to the Alpha as a father. She's a lost cause. But knowing Allen is still there, still so young and saveable? She can't allow it and she knows Sam can't either. They both can just imagine Sammy in Allen's place and they're not leaving without him.

Knowing the fight wouldn't be worth it, the Alpha rolls his eyes and sighs. "Emily... help Allan with his coat. He's leaving with Sam and Lou."

Sam and Lou wait as Emily leaves the room and comes back with a suitcase that she hands to Allen.

"Come on, honey," Lou smiles at him, warming up immediately and hoping to ease the poor kid's worries. "Let's get you somewhere safer, hm?" She drops an arm around his shoulders and Sam follows them towards the door.

"What? No thank you?" the Vampire outrages as they leave without another word. Lou and Sam pause to look back as he speaks to them. "Oh, right, right. Your flesh is crawling. All you really want to do is kill me now. You hate having to wait and come back and try again."

Lou's eyes narrow and get dangerous. "I would love nothing more than to end your bloodsucking, piece of over-inflated-ego ass."

"Is that how a former child of mine should speak to me?" he sneers in return.

"As a former child… I want to chop that arrogant head right off your neck." She turns back around and ushers Allen towards the door again.

"I wouldn't leave that head too close to that body for too long," Sam tells him, joining Lou.

"See you next season," the Alpha snaps with upset.

"Can't fucking wait," Lou responds without turning back, holding up her hand over her head and flipping him off before disappearing out of the door.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Ugh," Lou complains hard as she stretches out her back while she walks with Sam down the motel hallway to their room after dropping Allen with the local police department. "I think that toss onto the table jacked my back up a little."

"Hot shower?" Sam asks her, thinking it's the best course of action to loosen her up after such a long day and harsh attack.

"You coming with?" she cocks an eyebrow up at him.

Sam just huffs a laugh. "Not sure I'd stay awake long enough to not drown."

"What if I promise to keep you awake?" she tries again.

"Tempting… shit," Sam pauses mid step when he looks at their motel room door. It's cracked open and there's no way they left it that way. Granted, Emily broke out and maybe didn't close it but no hunter would make that assumption.

"What now?" Lou complains as she pulls out her gun and pushes the door open. The room is empty. "Bobby?"

"Crap, Lou," Sam calls to her after he follows her in, pointing to the opened safe. "He's gone."

"Fucking old man," Lou bitches as she replaces her gun and tries to pull out her phone. Then she remembers the vamps smashed it. "Shit."

"What?" Sam asks, knowing whatever is happening isn't good.

"My phone's toast. Can you call Dean or something, give them a heads up that Bobby's gone rogue?" she asks of him.

Sam nods and takes out his phone. He then sighs with a groan when he sees the multiple notifications for voicemails and texts from Dean. "Crap…."

"What?"

"I have about three voicemails and six texts… telling my Sasquatch ass to call him yesterday since we're walking into a trap."

"Fucking great," Lou sarcastically says. "How'd he know?"

"One guess," Sam arches an eyebrow, and dials Dean's number.

"Bobby." Lou groans and plops down on the end of the bed in the room.

_Where the fuck have you been!?_

Even Lou could hear that loud and clear. Sam pulls the phone away from his ear, shocked by the volume.

"Dean, calm down," Sam tries to say but Dean won't let him. His mouth runs and Lou huffs a laugh at the way Dean will never change. "We're fine. And we got the blood."

There's a pause on the other line. Sam smirks as he glances at Lou.

"Yes, seriously. We got what we came for and we got out of there…. No, he's still breathing…. Because I figured that without you around I'd get to try something new. I talked to him."

Lou rolls her eyes. She knows it all worked out in the end with minimal pain and damage, but she still stands by the back door, sneak in, kill the Alpha asshole and do it right, but hey. Whatever.

"Yeah, I know. And trust me, Lou's on your side," Sam huffs a laugh. "But the point is we got the blood. But we got other problems now…. I know, just when you think it can't get worse, right?" Sam sighs heavily as he prepares for the verbal beating. "Bobby's gone."

Lou starts packing up the room, knowing Sam and her dream of sleeping for a couple hours before heading back to the cabin is long gone now.

"He… I don't know, man. We got back to the room and the safe we put the flask in was empty. I don't know how he did it but he has the flask…. I know. Makes him free as bird now."

Sam watches Lou packing and gets the picture. No sleep for a day straight and now they're driving all the way back to Whitefish. Damn it, he's tired.

"I don't have a clue but I know Dick is his main motivation. He's been Hulking out over Dick since he died…." Sam closes his eyes and rubs his sockets with his free hand. Sam plops down on the foot of the bed with a sigh. "Lemme put you on speaker," he says and pulls the phone away from his ear. He switches to speaker mode. "Alright, Lou's listening."

"Me too," Lizzy is heard saying. "What the hell happened?"

"No idea," Sam admits as he pulls his EMF meter from the bag on the bed behind him. He switches it on. "Only residual EMF left. He's long gone."

"But how is that even possible?" Lizzy asks.

"We don't know," Sam admits. "We weren't expecting Bobby to find a way to take a physical object with him for more than a few minutes."

"Shit, this sounds bad," Dean comments and at the same time Lou and Sam both hear a babbling voice in the background.

"What's Sammy doing awake?" Lou asks, grabbing Sam's wrist and looking at his watch. Three in the morning.

"Too much excitement," Lizzy says, sounding equally exhausted. "We were about to pack up and head to the cabin before dawn. We knew you guys were probably in trouble but we didn't know what to do…."

"Go to sleep," Sam tells them. "There's nothing more you can do until we meet back up. Let him get some rest before you drive, you guys do the same."

"Nah, we're awake now so we'll start driving. Sammy sleeps like a brick in the car anyways," Dean denies the idea. "We'll just meet you guys at the cabin to summon Crowley for his blood."

"Goodie," Lou complains, not wanting to see him again. She gets the heebs just being in his presence. "Alright. We'll just have to load up on coffee or something."

"What do we do about Bobby?" Sam asks for Dean's opinion.

"What can we do?" Dean points out. "He's in the wind, man. He could be anywhere. We focus on the finish line and we'll deal with him later."

"Yeah, alright," Sam nods and takes a deep breath. "We'll catch you back at the cabin."

"Be safe," Lizzy says to them and the line cuts out.

Lou tilts her head up while still next to him and Sam looks at her. They share a moment, eyes locked, before Lou says, "I'll take first shift driving?"

"Only if you take something for your back," he suggests for her. "Sitting still for that long probably won't help."

Her face morphs into something slightly sad. "I'm tired."

"It's a marathon, Lou. Not a sprint," Sam smiles just slightly, knowing he's just as done.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she says with a lack of enthusiasm as she stands up to get moving. When she tries to walk away, Sam catches her wrist and pulls her back towards him. He lightly holds her hips and moves her closer until she's standing between his knees, their eyes level. "What?" she asks quietly, her hands on his shoulders.

He takes a moment to simply look at her blue eyes. "Nothing. I just… I wanted a second."

She smiles lightly as she looks right back at him, enjoying the quiet stolen sliver of time they've had in the very busy past days. It's been constant and scary and everything she asked for by wanting to get back on the road. But Sam erases the bad of it all just by looking at her with those expressive hazel eyes filled with an affection he shouldn't be capable of after all he's been through.

Lou brings her hands to the back of his neck, weaving into the hair that's gotten a little too long these days, and she shares a very uncharacteristic smile with him before leaning into him again, this time pressing her lips to his sweetly. His hands come up her back and hold her close. This makes it worth it.

When Lou ends the kiss she takes an extra few seconds to look at him. He's just so sweet deep in there, even after being a killing machine all day. "How do you just shut it off like that?"

Sam shrugs and slightly shakes his head. "You."

"Me?" she asks and he nods. "What the hell did I do?"

"Nothing," he answers, wrinkling his forehead with the fact that she doesn't get it.

And there he goes again, making her feel like such a lame-o that her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. She looks away.

"Someday you're gonna accept that we're a good thing and not get weird about it," he grins as he stands up, hands coming to her jaw. He ducks down and kisses her.

"I know we're a good thing, dumbass," Lou tells him as she pushes him in the chest a little before backing up a step. "You just make it a whole stupid, girly thing."

"You know, most women would find that a _good_ quality in a guy," Sam counters, index finger pointed at her before he goes to finish packing up.

"Oh, I ain't most women, Giant," Lou smirks and joins him in packing.

"Well aware," Sam lets her know. "Alright, pack and food stop?"

"Donuts. And a lot of coffee," Lou tells him.

"No donuts," Sam reminds. "Corn syrup."

" _Fuck me_ …."

* * *

**So much happening....**


	8. When It's Your Time... Go

**I was told to put in tissue warnings when necessary a few times before so... tissue warning.**

* * *

"Home… smelly home!" Lou announces the second she walks into Rufus' old cabin after she and Sam finally make it back.

"Shh!"

They're both greeted by Dean's angry face, an index finger pressed to his lips, when they walk in with their bags.

"Fuck you…." Lou starts to say but quickly stops herself.

When Dean points to a sleeping Sammy, his form sprawled out on his play mat set out on the floor of the cabin Lou doesn't finish her insult. She snaps her mouth shut and gives him an apologetic look.

Dean waves a hand over his shoulder for them to follow him. Sam nods, both drop their bags, and they all make their way down to the basement.

Once at the bottom step, Lou gets plowed into.

"Thank god you guys are fine," Lizzy says while bear hugging her sister. "You scared the shit outta us!"

"I can tell," Lou responds with a huff, their vocal volume back to normal now that they're out of Sammy's range. She hugs her sister back, knowing the fear she must have felt during the whole Alpha Vampire ordeal. "We're fine, Lizard. Just really tired."

"Go get some sleep then," she tells her, getting back to work on the spell she started. The gold bowl is set out on the table in the basement, the devil's trap ready to catch their least favorite demonic non-friend, and Lou knows what happens next. "We can handle this."

"Ugh, I hate that limey little bitch," Lou says, shivering with jeebs over the King of Hell.

"That's because he's practically in love with you," Sam smirks as he walks to the table next to Dean, clapping his brother on the shoulder once as he checks out everything they have set up.

"What?" Lizzy asks, smile on her face as she looks at Lou with the dropped information.

"Oh yeah," Lou nods, arms crossed with her grumpy tone. "He _loves_ me."

"Why?" Lizzy asks with a wider smile, the humor of the situation not lost on her in the least.

"Who the hell knows," Lou tries to brush it off.

"Must be your sparkling personality," Lizzy jokes, earning a quiet snort of agreement from Dean.

"Fuck off," Lou spits right out, giving her sister that sparkling personality she speaks of. "You want me to go take a spin with Sammy? Get him outta here?"

"That'd probably be a good idea," Dean nods, quick to agree. "We just wanted to see what shape you guys were in before we asked you to drive some more."

"We're beat but we're here," Sam answers, walking for the table to really check over the work they've done. The spell is almost ready. "Just need to light it up?"

"Yep," Lizzy says, smiling up at Sam as she joins him. "And you have the Alpha's blood?"

"Absolutely. You got that nun bone?" Lou wonders. She watches Dean pick up and show her the femur bone sitting on the table, already sharpened to a point. "Awesome. Can't believe we might actually pull this all off."

"Right?" Dean huffs. "Feels weird."

"Very," Lou nods. "Ok, give it five minutes and get that demon asshole's blood. I'll just slowly go get Sammy into the car and hopefully not wake him too much."

"Thank you, Louie. Really," Lizzy tells her, meaning it from deep in her heart. She knows how much Lou's been over the whole babysitting thing so her volunteering this duty is really helpful and kind of her.

"I love that little shit," she shrugs, looking at Sam and winking once. She then heads back up the stairs to grab her nephew and head out for a little spin.

"Think she shoulda stayed?" Dean suddenly wonders aloud after a few minutes, hearing the cabin door open and close as Lou leaves.

"Why?" Sam asks, not wanting her to. Crowley's eyes unsettle him when they're set on Lou. He doesn't want her ever near him again.

"You said Crowley's got a hard on for her," Dean figures. "Wouldn't it be easier to negotiate if he was negotiating with the eye candy?"

Sam's face goes cold and looks hard at his brother. "We're not pimping her out to Crowley for blood."

Lizzy huffs a laugh off in the corner as she grabs a jar of some herb she needed to finish the summoning spell.

"I don't wanna pimp anyone," Dean comments with offence. "I'm just saying… Crowley's still just a dude at heart. With eyes. Maybe it'll be less of a slimy, douchey struggle to get the blood if his eyes have what they want to see." Dean shrugs innocently.

"You're a dick," Sam says and shakes his head.

"Yeah… I know," Dean quickly acquiesces. "So… we ready?"

"As we shall ever be," Lizzy says to him, dropping a few pinches of herbs into the bowl. She caps and places the jar on the tables before pulling Ruby's knife out from the sheath at her waist. "Let's call King Douche."

Dean smirks at her as he takes up the box of matches. He pulls one out and strikes it, dropping it into the bowl. The flames rise up, flaring brightly before dying back down.

Silence remains. The devil's trap on the basement floor remains empty. Lizzy twirls the demon-killing knife in her hold once, stance still ready despite nothing happening.

"Is he trying to make a grand entrance or...?" Dean shakes his head and looks around the room.

"I don't know..." Sam shrugs.

"Son of a bitch," Dean slams a hand down on the table. "He's standing us up."

"But we summoned him," Lizzy points out. "Doesn't he kind of have to show up?"

Her husband looks at her with a face of fury. "If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you."

"Unless…" Sam starts, walking a few steps and getting a frightening feeling deep down. "He _can't_ come 'cause something went wrong."

"Guys!"

All three hunters snap their focus up the stairs. It's Lou.

"What happened?" Lizzy worries as she heads up while sheathing the knife, worried for her sister and son. They should be gone. "Why are you here?"

Sam and Dean follow her up the stairs. They find Lou, alone, standing in front of the open doorway.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks, wrinkled forehead.

"You two go fucking deal with him," Lou points out front. "I can't handle that much crazy in a single confined space."

"Sammy?" Dean asks, looking out the door.

"No. Emo-boy," she tells them. "I was halfway down the street when he pops up out of nowhere into the backseat with Sammy. Scared the fucking shit outta me."

Lizzy sighs with closed eyes, knowing who she's talking about right away. "Why'd he just pop in?"

"To grab a cup of coffee and catch up," Lou sarcastically answers, clearly pissed off with the scare still. "Why don't you two go ask him? He was both your boy toy first."

"Oh, that's… nice," Dean bites back as Lizzy heads outside right away, Dean following her. "Mature."

"Look who's talking," Lou bitches right back with a smirk and Dean jokingly shoulder-checks her on the way past. She gives him a snarl before they disappear outside.

"Great," Lizzy grumbles to herself as she pauses when she's fifteen feet from the car. The lame-ass song 'Vincent' is playing loudly and she can see the sullen look on Castiel's face in profile as he sits in the backseat looking straight ahead.

"She wasn't kidding about that emo-boy thing, huh?" Dean asks as he gets a small kick out of Castiel's odd mood.

"Nope. This song blows," Lizzy comments and they move forward. They reach Lou's current stolen junker and Lizzy crouches down until her head is level with the open side window closest to Castiel. Dean bends forward and presses a hand on the open ledge.

"Hey, there," he greets the angel, both noticing that Sammy is sat in his lap facing him, playing with the belt of his trench coat.

Castiel simply raises a hand in greeting, looking to neither of them and keeping his downer tone in place.

"Cassie, you ok?" Lizzy wonders and instead of verbally answer he just looks at her with inner pain before his eyes return to the child in his lap. He's being difficult.

Dean straightens up for a moment and looks to the sky, counting to ten to keep his annoyance in check as he feels Lizzy grip his leg in understanding. She's telling him to be patient.

He leans down again and gives it a try. "So, Cass, what's, uh, what's the word?"

"Well, Dean, I've been thinking," the angel starts, watching Sammy gnaw on his fabric belt. "Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?"

The hunter pauses, in awe of the mess that is his friend right now. "Uh… not very."

"Maybe I should ask a woman," Castiel wonders, looking at Lizzy in the eye. "How important is lipstick to you, Elizabeth?"

"I look good with some classic red lips," she smiles lightly, trying to keep things easy for the broken angel.

"Actually, that's very true," Dean adds his two cents in.

"But I don't think that's more important than the health and wellbeing of animals, I guess," she nods a little. She reaches in and grabs Castiel's hand. "You want to come inside and tell us what's going on?"

With a sigh, Castiel answers. "Samuel does smell a bit. Maybe it's best we bring him in and clean him up."

"We?" Dean asks.

"Well, that's probably a job best suited for his parents," Castiel clarifies as he lifts Sammy up under his arms and passes him through the open window. Lizzy reaches out for him with a smile.

"Is my guy stinky? Did you get all stinky?" she says with a bright tone. She pulls him in and smells him. "Oh yes, he definitely did."

"Come on, Cass," Dean says to him, reaching for the door handle. Lizzy gets up and backs away, letting him open it up. Castiel reluctantly stands and steps out. "Come inside."

He slumps his shoulders and walks.

Once they get inside, Dean shuts the door as Lizzy heads for the couch, laying Sammy on his back and grabbing the diaper bag to the side of the furniture.

Looking around the room, Castiel can tell the group is ready for action, Sam and Lou hauling all the items they need for retrying the summoning spell and making the Leviathan weapon to the kitchen table. "Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity."

"Kinda vanilla way of thinking about your private life, don't you think?" Dean jokes as he watches Castiel make his way to the table in the corner.

"I don't have a private life," he absently answers as he picks up one of the femur bones on the table. He smells it. "Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice."

"I thought when you left you'd be gone for a while," Lizzy mentions, opening Sammy's diaper and making a nasty face.

"When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers, and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously," he mentions as he places the bone back on the table. "But I heard nothing from them."

"You heard nothing from the flowers?" Sam tries to clarify, everyone seeing now how jumbled Castiel's brain is.

"The Garrison." The answer is simple, as if it should have been obvious.

"What happened to the Garrison?" Lou asks.

"Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look... to the home of the Prophet."

"Kevin?" Lou questions, eyes wide.

"Yes. You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why my Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison… dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding."

"Um, I'm sorry," Dean walks closer to Castiel. "If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?"

Cass looks off in the distance as he thinks. "I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?"

"Hey!" Dean claps his hands, pulling Castiel back into the present conversation. "Focus. Is Kevin alive?"

"I don't want to fight."

"No, I'm not…" Dean rolls his eyes but Lizzy interrupted.

"Easy." She says it lightly and with a smile, the reminder to be nice as Dean's patience is running thin.

Dean takes a breath. "We're worried."

"They took him. He's alive," Castiel explains what he knows. He then drops his shoulders as if a weight has been removed. "I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now."

"Our hands!?" Sam asks, upset at the way this sounds.

"Oh yes, I don't fight," Castiel reminds.

"Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute," Dean tries to make Castiel stop.

He doesn't. "I feel much better. Uh… what's all this?" Castiel points at the gold bowl used to summon Crowley unsuccessfully.

"We called Crowley," Lizzy says with a big smile at Sammy as she wipes his bottom. He smiles back.

"You… _called_ Crowley?" Castiel wonders, confused. "What did he have to say?"

"He was a no show," Dean tells him.

"No show?" Castiel echoes, confused.

"He stood us up, Cassie," Lizzy tells him, putting a diaper back on Sammy.

Castiel's posture stiffens. "We need to get Sammy out of here."

"What?" Lizzy laughs, closing the diaper before picking him up and pulling him into her while pants-less. "Crowley just didn't come when told."

"Yes, but he could still sh…."

"Show up at any time," a Scottish accent finishes Castiel's sentence as Crowley appears in the room. He's not in a devil's trap. He's roaming free in the cabin. "Hello, boys and girls. Sorry I'm late." He looks around at him company. "Well, this _is_ an embarrassment of riches." His eyes land on Lou by the table. "Hello, darling. It's always a pleasure to see you." He bows and Lou stays quiet, refusing to talk to him.

Lizzy stands up immediately and heads towards the back of the cabin with her son, Dean already moving towards her and putting himself between the King of Hell and their boy.

"Oh… now, now Elizabeth. Don't shy away," Crowley comments. "I've yet to have my chance to hold the little hunter-offspring. Come to Uncle Crowley, Samuel…."

"Crowley! Knock it off!" Dean shouts, hating everything about Crowley's words right now.

"Leave them be." Castiel adds in, standing next to Dean out of instinct to protect Lizzy and Sammy.

The demon's eyes fix on the angel. "Castiel. When last we spoke, you… well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?"

"I... don't know."

"Well, do you want to dead?" Crowley asks. "Because I can help with that. Happily."

"Alright, enough," Dean tells him, irritation all over him.

"It's enough when I say," Crowley tells him, a sharp edge to his voice. "I came here to help you."

"You came here because we summoned you," Sam reminds him, voice hard.

"Same difference," Crowley brushes off. "I come to help and I find out you've all been lying to me, harboring an angel… and not just any angel, the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth."

"Why the hell would you expect us to give him up to you?" Lizzy angrily asks over Dean's shoulder, earning her a look of anger from her husband. "Are you that stupid, seriously?"

There's a pause as the demon narrows his eyes at her and thinks. "You bore me, you know that?"

"Oh, I'm heartbroken," she sarcastically responds, pressed up against Dean's back with need to punch the asshole demon in her presence, forgetting about Sammy in her arms for a quick second.

"L, take it down," Dean grits out through clenched teeth over his shoulder. She gives him look that's only slightly apologetic.

"Leash her, Squirrel," Crowley eyes Dean before turning to Castiel, ignoring Lizzy's fury. "Or her rude disposition is going to get you all into a situation you're not going to enjoy."

"Why don't you come over here and say that to my face, short stuff!" Lizzy gets pissed. Threatening her angel and dissing her while he's at it. No fucking way.

"I don't believe you'd be too happy if I did that, Elizabeth," Crowley warns her.

"Fuck you, demon bitch!" Lizzy angrily lets fly and Crowley's hand raises to fling her into the back wall.

"Whoa! Wait!" Dean stops him, hands out in surrender. "She's just… pissy. Okay? No need to get violent."

Crowley glares at him. "Like I said… leash her. Unless you don't want my help."

Dean nods, giving in. He then turns his head to glance back at Lizzy. "L, shut up," Dean warns her as the demon once more focuses on Castiel.

"Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" Crowley moves on and stares at the angel.

Castiel's eyes widen for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy," Castiel explains, his nervousness and inability to keep his mind on a single train of thought making him ramble. "I haven't even been back to Heaven. I, I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have... trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and... miracles, really."

Crowley looks at Dean for an explanation. Dean offers none because he has none. The demon looks back at Castiel with an expression of pure confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess," Castiel answers, thinking this tells all about his mental state instead of thoroughly confuse. "Here. I can offer a token, if you like." Castiel pulls a small Ziploc sandwich baggie out of the pocket of his white institutional-patient uniform he's never changed out of. "It's honey. I collected it myself."

Shock in his eyes, Crowley stares at Castiel for a beat before telling him. "You're off your rocker."

The room holds its breath as everyone realizes that the angel that they have is a worthless defense this time. Crowley knows he has the upper hand now.

"Dear, tell me the truth," Crowley says to Lou. "He's off his rocker, is that it?"

Lou's steeled face is all he gets in return.

Crowley doesn't wait for an answer as he understand he won't get one. "Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" With a smug smile, the demon calmly walks to the kitchen counter with arrogance, pouring himself a glass of whiskey from the bottle left on the counter. He takes a sip. "Glad you found yourself a sensible woman, Dean. The whiskey she buys is in an actual glass bottle instead of the plastic encased bleach-substitute I normally find around your redneck presence."

Dean sighs. "I know how to pick 'em. Look, did you come here to donkey-punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle, man."

"Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both but where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur?" Crowley snarks and sips his whiskey. "Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile..." he says while pulling a vial of blood out of his inner suit coat pocket. "A prezzie."

"Really?" Sam skeptically asks as Crowley tosses the vial to him. He catches it, face still concerned. "Just boxed-up and ready to go?"

"I'm a model of efficiency." Crowley shrugs with an evil grin and sips his whiskey.

"Then why were you ten-fucking-minutes late?" Lou finally speaks up, asking what everyone wants to know. "Summoning spells, like the one we used, never come with a delay."

The demon smiles at her slightly warmly, or at least as warmly as he can manage. "Dick had me in a devil trap, my beauty. He's not an idiot. He knows what you are all after."

"So what did he offer you?" Sam interjects.

"A fair deal in exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine?" He smirks with mischief.

"Is it, douche bag?" Lou wonders, wanting confirmation.

"I'd never lie to a lass like you, Louise."

"Don't call me that," she fires back.

"Why not?" Crowley wonders. "It's a lovely name for a lovely girl. It means renowned warrior, befitting of a creature such as yourself, no?"

"Dude! What the hell!?" Lou asks, breaking with his odd kindness sent her way. "Why are you all up my skirt?"

"What I wouldn't give," he smirks. Lou looks at him with further anger. He sighs. "Why wouldn't I be, darling?"

"Because I'm just some chick," she tells him, annoyed as all hell.

"Are you?" he challenges knowingly.

"Yeah, I am," Lou answers back swiftly. "Go find a demon bitch to chase or something."

Crowley narrows his eyes for a moment, thoughtfully entangled in his own mind, before moving on without another word on the matter. "It's my blood. Real deal."

"And why should we trust you?" she further pushes him.

"Good God, don't. Never trust anyone, darling," Crowley tells her before turning his sights to the angel.  
"A lesson I learned from my last business partner."

Castiel narrows his eyes at the demon, no verbal response needed.

"And as much as I'd love to take this little cherub of yours to Hell and roast him 'til he's jerky… you boys and girls need him in order to get Dick. Don't they, Cassie-poo?"

The guilt paints itself onto Castiel's face quickly. "Oh, I… I don't fight anymore."

"Come on," Crowley sighs with the angel's reluctance. "Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital and you know it… just like your dear Elizabeth here. You both could be the key to punching Dick's clock, hm?"

With that, Crowley disappears.

"Uh… ok…." Dean turns around and sees Lizzy standing there with Sammy. His expression drops. "Hey, uh… the next time a demon that powerful comes by while Sammy's around, try not to pick a friggin' fight with him." He reaches out and Sammy leans for his dad, Dean taking him from his mother while he's upset at her.

Lizzy feels quite at fault for her temper flare. "Yeah, I'm… sorry…."

"You should be," Dean tells her, his voice light and understanding despite his words. He runs a hand over Sammy's dark, thin hair and kisses his forehead. "Even if he has it coming, you can't just mouth off to a guy that powerful with Sammy here."

"I know, I know," she admits, hands covering her face with embarrassment. "He just asks for it, you know?"

"Oh, we know," Sam assures her. He looks down into his hand and sees the blood vial. "You guys think Crowley's, uh..."

"Double-crossing us? Totally," Lou answers as Sam walks to the table and starts to set up what they need to make the weapon. She starts to help him, clearing the summoning spell and readying everything.

"You've got to figure who he wants dead more… us or Dick," Dean mentions, wandering around the room with Sammy, just happy that they're safe without King Demon around to threaten his family.

"Definitely not us if Lou's a part of our group," Lizzy smirks at Lou a little.

"Dude… shut up," Lou tells her sister, completely on the spot with Crowley's shining to her.

"Maybe you're, like, demon bait or something," Lizzy laughs lightly, keeping a distance from Lou as she says these things. "Demons are drawn to you."

"He's the only one I know of so far so cram it," Lou tells her, placing a fresh, clean bowl on the table as Sam pulls out the three small bottles of blood they've collected. "Seriously though… you think this is really his blood?" She picks up the vial and looks at it hard.

"Depends what Dick offered," Sam answers, still also unsure of what to think. "But it's all we got. And if he didn't want to help I don't think he'd bother giving us anything… right?"

"Maybe," Lou shrugs. "Guess we just… assume he's telling the truth."

"Aw, would he lie to a lass like you?" Dean interjects with a shit-eating grin from a few feet away. Lou just flips him off.

"Here we go," Sam nods to Lou and together they pour the three bloods into the clean bowl. "Okay. Um…." He picks up the bowl of blood and looks around the room as everyone gathers together at the kitchen table. "So do we, uh..."

"Uh, there's no magic words. No nothing," Dean reminds him, tapping an index finger on the notebook Kevin left them. "We just... just go."

Sam thinks for a second before saying, "Alright, then." He picks up the gold summoning bowl and dumps out the contents onto the middle of the table. Sam then places the sharpened femur bone into it. Pouring the blood over the bone he winces. Once done, everyone closes their eyes and waits. And waits.

"Uh, where's all the thunder and lightning?" Dean asks, pulling his hand away from Sammy's head as he'd blocked his ear assuming it'd get loud in there.

" _M_ _aybe_ it worked?" Sam says skeptically.

"We're just gonna assume?" Lizzy has to question, worried about sending anyone in their group after the most powerful Leviathan with a possibly fault weapon.

"And hope we don't look like asses, yeah," Lou says. "We should let those dry and start planning this attack out, huh?"

The whoosh of wings is heard and when they all look they see Castiel standing there, a large plate of sandwiches piled onto it in his hands. No one had even seen him disappear in the first place. He was silent.

"So, none of this should cause you any ill effect," the angel immediately starts speaking as he places the platter onto the table in the last little nook of uncovered space. "I went to a little farm in Normandy for the wheat and the lettuce and tomato and… and I thoroughly examined and comforted the pig before I... slaughtered it for the ham."

When no one moves Castiel can feel how out of the norm his gesture is.

Picking up a sandwich, he tries to hand it to Dean. He knows if anyone will eat it will be him. "Eat up. You need your strength."

Eyeing him with concern, Dean takes the sandwich and says, "Thanks, Cass."

"We could use something more than food from you, Cassie," Lizzy starts in as he walks over to him, a hand on his shoulder. "Even though the food is great. Thank you for that. But we could use your actual help…."

"I do not fight," Castiel returns with

"We get that, but why was Crowley so certain that you need to come with us?" Sam asks, hanging onto that very key, very obvious point Crowley chose to make before leaving.

"And why did he say L would need to help out too?" Dean adds in, his major concern being that of the mother of his child possibly being necessary to killing Dick. He wants her nowhere near the Death Star.

"Crowley's wrong," Castiel claims, clearly lying as his eyes dart around the room with major guilt.  
"I'll be waiting right here. I can keep watch over Samuel while you're gone. But please, accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity." He motions to the food he made and still refrains from eye contact with the room.

"I'm not buying that, Cass," Lizzy tells him, keeping her voice calm and soothing whenever she speaks to him within his new state. "But if you can promise me that Crowley wasn't talking about anything super important, that we're safe if we go in there without you, then I'll trust you."

He still doesn't look at her. He keeps his sights around the room. "You are all warriors, better than my own brothers and sisters at most points. You should be fine."

Lizzy sighs but makes sure the room lets it be with a pointed look. She doubts he'll let them leave without being sure they'll be safe.

"Well, let's get ready," Lizzy says to everyone and everyone starts to move around the room, preparing for their big attack.

* * *

Once Dean parks their stolen van outside of Sucro Corp, the last known location that Dick was seen in, Dean sighs heavily and looks behind him at Lou. "She text you at all?"

"Did you think she would?" Lou scoffs as she starts to unpack the duffel bag of weapons they brought.

"No," Dean admits, knowing Lizzy's sore over getting out-voted for mission: Kill Dick. She didn't take it well, wanting to follow through with her threat she put on him the day Bobby died, Dick having shown up to the hospital to rub salt into the already gaping wound. She vowed she'd end him to his face and now she's once more sidelined by motherhood.

"Don't worry about it so much," Lou tells him without looking away from her job. "Trust me, any one of us dies in this and she'll understand fully that she couldn't come."

"So… any one of us dies and she gets over being left behind or we all come back and she's still pissed?"

Lou laughs. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Shitty options," Dean grumbles, looking at his phone. No messages. He starts typing one of his own.

"Well, when she's alive tomorrow then she can shut the hell up about it," Lou points out. "No nephew of mine is growing up without his mom."

"At least I got back up on this," Dean mutters, sending his message to Lizzy.

_I know you're pissed. Don't be. We did what we had to for Sammy. It's all for Sammy. I love you._

Dean then pockets his phone and looks to Sam with his laptop wide open, keys clicking away. "You got it yet?"

"Here we go," Sam tells him as he gets access to the security cameras he needs. He holds the screen between Dean and him, making sure even Lou can see it.

They get a solid view of the board room, meeting in progress with Dick Roman at the head of the long table.

"Thank you, Charlie, wherever you are," Sam mutters, thankful that she taught him how to gain access to any security camera, even ones Frank would never have been able to crack.

"Can't wait to meet this chick," Lou comments, Lizzy and she having yet to meet Charlie.

"You guys will like her," Sam assures, knowing they will.

"We got you, Dick," Dean says with an undertone of dark excitement.

"Yeah, that's, uh, the second floor," Sam mentions as he clicks to a new camera view to start a plan of attack. "And… and then…." He stops when he registers the man walking down the hallway on his laptop screen.

"What… the fuck…?" Lou awes, seeing it too.

"What the hell? Is that Dick?" Dean asks.

Sam starts clicking through other views. A different hallway. "And _that's_ Dick." And then a desk in an office. "And so it that."

"Son of a bitch." Dean washes a hand down his face with the stress of what's being presented to them.

"Cycle through again," Lou asks of Sam, needing another look at all the Dick Romans running around the building. Just as before, Dick seems to be in several places within Sucro Corp all at once.

While they watch the live footage, a pickup truck pulls up to the curb across the street. Sam looks up and sees it park in the odd place and he has a weird feeling. Peering through binoculars, he sees a woman in a maid's uniform open the door and step out, a paper wrapped item under her arm. She looks around a bit before walking for the building and when he gets a clear peek at her face Sam's heart stops.

"Shit," he says, dropping the binoculars. Lou and Dean look at the woman with him. "That's the maid from the motel. Lou."

"Wait, what motel?" she wonders, looking at the woman and not recognizing her.

But Sam processes it all at once. Why would the woman from the motel near the Alpha Vamp's hideout be at Sucro Corp right now? Right when Bobby's flask disappears?

"Oh, no. Oh, Bobby, what are you doing?"

"Wait," Dean's face drops. "Are you saying that Bobby…?"

"Look, just, uh, wait here," Sam tells them both and he jumps out of the car.

"Are you out of your mind?" Dean asks.

"Sam! Don't do that…." Lou tries to stop him.

"You guys have the weapons, and… and eyes on Dick, plural," Sam points to the laptop before shutting the car door. "I'll take care of Bobby."

"Sam!" Dean shouts at him.

"Shut up," Sam returns with and jobs off after the maid.

Lou itches instantly as she sits there. He shouldn't being going out there alone, not at the Leviathan headquarters.

"Who's the maid?" Dean finally asks Lou, confused as all hell.

"She worked at the motel we stashed the flask in… where the flask disappeared from," Lou says, watching Sam disappear from sight.

"How the hell would he remember her face?" Dean wants to know, the mind of Sam something he still doesn't get.

"Photographic memory," Lou explains quickly as she digs into a duffle in the backseat by her feet.

Dean just sits and thinks for a second. "Really?" he wonders, never having known that before.

"It's why he retains fucking _everything_ , duh," Lou tells him, picking up an iron crowbar. "He reads it once, sees it once, it's cemented in that friggin' huge brain of his forever." She opens the car door.

"What… where you going?" Dean asks as she gets out too. "You heard Sam…."

"Fuck Sam," Lou says and runs off in the direction Sam disappeared in.

Dean sighs and shakes his head. " _Great_."

By the time Lou catches up she watches Sam holding his own arm tightly, blood trickling from between his fingers. The large knife in the maid's hand has blood on it.

"Get out of here, Sam," the maid growls.

Lou watches Sam straighten up a bit. "No."

The maid then slams Sam against the vehicle and grabs his throat with both hands. Sam chokes out struggled sounds and pulls at the stronger than human hands but can't loosen them.

"Bobby, stop…" Sam gasps. "Stop."

Lou reaches Bobby and quickly, gripping each end of the crowbar in her hands, brings it over the maids head and pulls her back. The second the iron touches her neck Bobby's blown out of her, leaving the maid once more free.

Once she's sure Bobby's gone, Lou lets go of the woman and steps back. "You ok?"

The maid's wide, horrified eyes look at her in panic. "Where am I?" she asks. "Who the hell are you?"

Lou just closes her eyes and sighs. She then looks at Sam. "Are you alright, Giant?"

"Yeah," he nods, shaken with everything that just happened. Bobby attacked him. He attacked him. The decisions that have to make because of this puts fear deep in his heart. "Uh… miss? Why don't we get you somewhere safe, ok?"

* * *

When the door to the cabin opens, Lizzy smiles to see Dean walk through first. She's relieved. But then she takes one good look at his sour, sad face and she knows something went wrong. "You didn't get it done."

"We got distracted," Dean bitterly answers as he walks into the cabin, drops a heavy bag, and marches right for her as she's sitting at the table, Sammy in a high chair as he eats some cut up strawberries laying out on his tray. Dean runs a hand over Sammy's head and kisses his face hello.

Silently, Sammy smiles and reaches up with a piece of strawberry.

Dean ducks down and eats it. Sammy claps his hands together once. "Da-da-da-da."

"Hey, kiddo," Dean greets while chewing.

"Dean, what the hell happened?" Lizzy asks, completely confused.

"Bobby," he says sadly, sitting down in a chair he pulls up next to her, keeping close to Sammy.

"What the hell does that mean?" she wonders, very concerned already.

"It means we have one seriously shitty conversation to have right now," Lou answers for him as she walks in with Sam.

"Jesus, you ok?" Lizzy worries when she sees the bruising around Sam's neck as he walks in after Lou, closing the door.

"Not really," Sam answers, a bit shaken still by the fact that it was Bobby that did it to him.

"What happened?" she asks him, using Sammy's bib to wipe down his face as Dean pulls him out of his chair.

"Bobby happened." The second Sam says it he watches the fear coat Lizzy's face. She already knows enough. And then she spies the blood on his cut open jacket sleeve.

"Shit," she sighs. "He did that!?"

Sam doesn't answer, just makes a sorrowful face that lets her know he did. She sighs.

"Come on. Family pow-wow," Dean says and moves for the couch, sitting down and putting Sammy in his lap. He hands him his favorite stuffed dog as everyone sits in a small circle. Sammy chews on the dog's ear, like usual, and stays quiet aside from some random noises of contentment here and there. He's generally a happy baby, a toy and a lap making him quite appeased.

"What happened?" Lizzy very quietly asks after grabbing her medical bag, afraid to know. She sits next to Sam on his hurt side and tugs on his jacket lapel once, letting him know to take it off.

"When we got to Sucro Corp we were staking the place out," Sam tells her, his heart already broken enough. He pulls the jacket off and starts to open the buttons on his flannel shirt under it. "As we were trying to make a plan of attack a pick-up pulled up. I recognized the woman that got out. She was a maid from the motel we stashed Bobby's flask at while going after the Alpha."

Lizzy face goes white as she pulls out supplies to patch Sam out and arranges them on the coffee table. "Why would she be there?" She already knows.

"Bobby was possessing her," Lou tells her sister plainly, getting this over with as she watches Sam wince as he removes his next layer. "He was using some poor woman to get to Dick and kill him himself."

"He didn't have the weapon needed to even put a dent in Dick though," Lizzy points out.

"Doesn't seem to matter," Dean says. "The guy's not thinking. He's gone full agro."

"Oh shit," she says, voice wavering. "What do we do then?"

"You know what you gotta do, Liz," they suddenly hear a familiar, gruff voice say. Bobby appears in the cabin and they all look at him with worry and a little fear. "Don't look at me like that."

"We're worried about you," Lizzy tells him, her voice shakier now that he's here. She busies herself with cleaning the blood off Sam's now exposed arm, the slice just below his t-shirt sleeve.

Bobby's eyes land on Sammy. He shares a slight smile with just the sight of the little boy. "Me too." He pauses, accepting what comes next and accepting that he's no longer going to be around to see Sammy grow up. "Well, ya got the flask. You idjits should've burned it right off a long time ago."

"Bobby…" Dean begins to speak but the older man doesn't want to hear it.

"No. I'm still jonesing to go back... grab some poor bastard, kamikaze 'em going after Dick," he tells him walking closer to Dean. He stops right in front of him, watching Sammy chew away while still teething. "It's bad."

Without asking, he reaches down for Sammy. The little boy instantly reaches up, small hands outstretched for his grandfather that he hasn't seen in some time. Bobby picks him up, pulls him in, and sits him on his hip, displaying his ghost strength if anyone in the room had doubted it. Without thought, the young boy rests his head on his grandpa's shoulder.

No one says a word when they watch Bobby's eyes close, leaning his head against Sammy's. And they certainly don't mention how he clears his throat just to find his voice again after a moment with his grandkid.

"Let's be real," Bobby finally is able to talk, the lump there in his throat. He looks at Sam with guilt. "I damn near killed you. And that woman."

"It wasn't your fault, Bobby… not really." Sam concedes quickly despite Lizzy pressing gauze to his still bleeding arm. He was upset and angry for the way Bobby acted the entire way back to the cabin. Now that he sees the hurting ghost of the man he's loved since childhood he doesn't care as much. He just doesn't want Bobby to leave now.

"Right," Bobby scoffs, tone sarcastic. He pulls Sammy closer without thinking. "That's just what ghosts turn into. I really bet the farm I could outsmart that."

"You tried," Lizzy attempts to smile but fails.

"I'll always try, but you kids know what happens when you try sometimes."

"Yeah, you get your own ass handed to you," Dean gripes, having been burnt over trying to do the right thing so many times in the past. "So, what's it feel like?"

"What? Going vengeful?" Bobby asks, Dean nodding. He peers down at Sammy's face, awake yet calm, and he keeps his eyes there. Sammy seems to control his anger like nothing else has been able to. "It's an itch you can't scratch out. It keeps… nagging 'atcha. And nothing can fix it."

Bobby pauses and hugs Sammy in, his face so sad it's painful. What's left of his heart hurts terribly as he says his silent goodbye, clinging to every feel, sound, and smell of his grandkid that he never thought he'd have. He drops a kiss on his head, something he's rarely if ever done before, and then heads for Dean again. He hands the boy back over, his eyes rimmed with tears.

"Look... kids, I'm done," Bobby tells them. "I know. You know."

No one can tell him he's wrong, even if they desperately want to.

"Go get Dick. Send his ass packing," Bobby tells them. "But don't do it 'cause you think it'll scratch the itch. The itch ain't ever getting scratched. Do it to save the world for him." He nods at Sammy. "Now, you kids suck up the tears and meet me out back."

He blinks out.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

The four hunters stand around a small fire in the back of the cabin. Bobby's there, watching the flames as he prepares to leave them for good.

Lizzy's face is already streaked with tears. Ever since her son was born even a sappy commercial could break her down into sobs so this isn't easy for her. And the fact that she has Sammy there with them, holding him so he's facing away from her with his back against her front, makes her hurt more. Sammy's losing his grandfather for good. It's killing her. He has so little as it is.

"Bobby, we can burn the flask easy, but…." Sam pauses, his analytical brain having thought about this minor issue. "We can't burn Sammy."

Bobby nods, looking at the little guy he's so attached to. "I made my peace with him. At first… I just could deal with not being there to see him grow up. But… I know you all. You'll take care of him. I'm not needed."

"That's not true," Lizzy sniffles out, her tears making this harder for Bobby.

"Maybe no," Bobby huffs a quiet laugh at her. "But he's gonna grow up right with the four of you having his back. I don't need to worry about him. I've let it go." He nods and makes sure they believe him.

No one responds. They trust what he says.

"Uh… if I can give a little advice before," Bobby speaks up, Dean holding tightly to the flask as he prepares himself for this. "When it's your time... go. It was damn fool of me to think I could beat this."

"We understanding why you stayed," Sam tries to comfort the man. "Not sure any of us would have moved on either."

"Well then, you best learn from me," Bobby warns. "If you ain't gonna learn from my mistake then you ain't gonna learn."

No one speaks as Bobby's eyes move around their little circle. Sad eyes of all his children, the adopted crew of strong, relentless hunters with hearts of pure gold. To say he's proud of each and every one of them would be putting it lightly. Life was ninety-percent shit for Bobby Singer, but he did have one damn bright spot within it. Well, maybe five bright spots.

But now, after a heart-stopping realization, he's ready to go. "Here's to... running into you guys on the other side. Only... not too soon. Alright?"

Lizzy sniffles loudly and Bobby can't help but smile at her.

"Suck it up, Liz," he taunts with a little smirk, knowing she can't. She just wipes her face and cries more, knowing he never expected her to suck anything up.

"You ready?" Dean very painfully asks.

One more glance around, Bobby's heart full with the way Lou is tucked under Sam's arm, the two of them relying on each other and genuinely happy, and how Dean and Lizzy seem mended and back to where they're meant to be, he knows he's not leaving them in a bad place. They have each other.

"Go ahead, son," Bobby nods.

Dean drops the flask into the fire, the cheap metal softening quickly.

Bobby can feel it happening from the inside out, his ghostly form burning off as he leaves the earth for the afterlife.

The warm orange glow starts to brightly light from within his form. Knowing he has only seconds left, Bobby chooses to leave with his eyes on his boy, his grandkid, the reason he had to live on and be happy in the last year of his life. He's said his goodbyes, detached himself from him so he could leave, but he'll never forget that little boy.

Looking at Sammy, Bobby smiles sadly. "I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow."

And with those final words, his form burns away and the air is empty, the metal flask melted into a pile of salted liquid in the middle of the fire.

Dean looks over at his brother, Sam doing the same once Bobby's gone. He's gone. They've known him practically their whole lives, the man being one of the few constants in their lives they could depend on. He never let them down. He never gave them anything but understanding and love, even when they hadn't earned it. Without a word, they mourn for a second and understand each other within that sorrow.

But they know what they have to do.

Dean turns to Lizzy and sees her wet, devastated face.

"How many times do we have to say goodbye to him," she looks up at him with a pathetically sad face.

Dean doesn't say anything. Instead, he bites his own tears back and gives her a hug, mindful not to squish Sammy.

"Shit," Lou sniffles and backs away from Sam after having been hugging him the whole time. "Alright." She tries to calm herself and roughly wipes her face. Sam discretely does the same, not wanting to admit he cried a little there. "We gotta make a game plan."

"We do," Sam agrees, sucking it all up because Lou's right. He clears his throat loudly. "Let's, uh, head in and figure out what to do about the Dicks."

"The _Dicks_? Plural?" Lizzy asks Sam. Dean backs off the hug and grabs her hand.

"Yup. A whole bag of them," Dean tells her, leading her into the house. "Let's get to work."

Lizzy glances up as she walks for the cabin, catching Castiel's saddened face as it peers out of the window at them. Clearly he watched the whole thing.


	9. The Gift of Sight

* * *

"Alright, thanks," Sam says into the phone as he walks for the kitchen table where Lizzy, Lou, and Dean are sat. Sammy is passed out in his father's lap, which has become his common nap spot when Dean's around. Sam stands next to Lou and looks at her. "She's fine. Checking out of the hospital tonight."

"The maid?" Lizzy wonders.

"Yeah," Sam nods.

"Well, that's positive," Castiel says as he comes over to Sam with a plated sandwich, handing it over as he once more tries to feed the group. Sam takes it and looks around, seeing that everyone else also has a sandwich in front of them. Only Dean's has one single bite taken. Everyone's appetite has been affected today.

"Alright, so… Dick made more Dicks," Sam comments, putting his plate on the table and sitting down also. "He must've kept a chunk of the original Dick Roman somewhere. Uh, they'd all have to touch it."

"And boom, they can shift into Dick," Lou laments. "I don't know how we get past this. We can't just barge in there and start stabbing all the Dicks."

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean watches Castiel move oddly, his eyes avoiding the group as he heads back to the sink. He starts drying dishes. "Hey, shifty, what's your problem?"

Swallowing hard, Castiel turns around. "Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?"

"We're not getting a cat," Lizzy tells him simply. "Dean's allergic."

"Oh, well I can fix that…"

"You got anything to say on the topic of Dicks?" Dean asks, getting a nagging feeling Castiel is hiding something. "Crowley seemed pretty sure that you could help."

His eyes dart around the room again. "I can't help. You understand? I can't."

"You could try," Dean tells him.

Castiel gets upset. "I destroyed... everything, and I will destroy everything again. When I fight I mess everything up. Can we please just leave it at that?"

"No," Dean denies quickly, standing up and holding Sammy with one forearm as he walks to the angel. "No, we can't."

"Dean..." Sam tries to warn, the angel too broken for an outburst.

"We can't leave it," Dean harshly whispers, not wanting to wake Sammy yet too mad not to speak up. "You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cass. Clean up your mess!"

"Ok," Lizzy gets up immediately and walks to Dean. With a hand on his shoulder, she suggests, "Can you go put Sammy down, please?"

"L, this is ridiculous…."

"Trust me?" she asks of him and he shuts his mouth. He stares at her, thinking. He then glances at Castiel with a hard face and heads for the stairs, listening to her. She's become like the Cass Whisperer over the past months so he knows it's best to go with her.

Lizzy sighs and then looks at Cass. He smiles at her and says, "You know... we should play Twister."

"What?" Lizzy asks with confusion.

Castiel disappears without an answer.

"Nice. You scared off the whack job," Lou smirks, shaking her head with how disastrous Castiel has been.

"Don't call him that," Lizzy quietly says, hating that Castiel's still broken and getting the shit end of every stick. "You know, if people around here could manage to be nice and keep their mouth shut I might have gotten out of him what Crowley meant."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I've been there for him since he woke up. I know how to get through to him and if you and Dean would let me we might have some answers by now."

"Dude, no one is getting through to that guy," Lou tells her. "I say we get it out of him the old fashioned way, huh?" Lou pulls out her knife from her boot and twirls it once, knowing she's just getting on Lizzy's nerves now.

"I'll kick your ass first," Lizzy fairly warns, seriously meaning it.

"You've been outta the game too long, sis," Lou taunts her. "I'd wipe the floor with you."

"Big words from such a short little shit, Louise."

"Don't call me that, _Elizabeth_."

With the flapping of wings, Castiel returns in time to interrupt the argument. He appears with a Twister mat set out on the ground and he's spinning for his first turn.

"Oh, Jesus," Lizzy shuts her eyes as she takes a moment to prepare to deal with him.

Lou just laughs and replaces her knife in her boot. Sam is smarter and keeps his laugh silent.

"Cassie, can we play something easier?" Lizzy requests. "I'm a little too tired for twisting up into a pretzel right now."

Castiel sits down on the mat and pauses everything instantly. "You're tired."

"Very."

"Then get some rest, Elizabeth," he suggests. "I can help you sleep."

He stands up and heads towards her, two fingers aimed at her forehead.

"No, no," she quickly tells him and grabs his wrist to stop him. "We don't really have time to rest, Cass. We need to get to work."

Castiel steps back, looking at his shoes. "I'll be here. I can watch Samuel for you while you're gone…."

"Thanks for offering," Lizzy smiles, knowing she could actually trust Castiel with her son these days and how good it feels to think that way. "But I have a question for you."

Castiel holds his hand up, a deck of cards in his hand suddenly. "Uno?"

The frustrations starts to settle in again but she gets an idea. "How about we play like we did in the institute?"

Castiel considers this for some time, unsure.

"Lou and Sam will play too, right?" Lizzy offers, looking to the seated pair at the table with a face that says they better agree to this.

"Ye-yeah," Sam half stutters. "Uh, we'll play."

Lou's eye roll is audible. She's picking up on Sam's ticks these days.

"Okay, let's play," Lizzy grins warmly and sits at the table, pushing a chair out for Castiel next to her. He narrows his eyes but sits anyways. He shuffles the Uno deck and starts to pass out cards to each person. No one speaks, waiting for Lizzy's cue as this is her setup.

Lizzy waits a moment. She holds her cards, organizes them, and even plays a few rounds all while observing Castiel and trying to figure out his head space. "So, Cass…."

"Reverse," he cuts her off and drops a Reverse card. "You need to go again."

"Fine, but you have to answer my question before I go again," she tells him with a cocked eyebrow. "You know how this works."

Sam and Lou watch on with fascination. They knew Lizzy was good at reading people and handling them, but this is interesting.

"Yes. I do," Castiel looks at his cards again. "What is your question?"

"Why are you so fascinated with bees?"

Sam's face drops. He looks at Lou and she's equally confused. This is not what they need to be talking about right now.

Castiel smile genuinely, unprepared for such a lovely question. "Bees are a wonder of this Earth."

"They _are_ important."

"Very much so," Castiel says and watches her drop a card onto the discard pile. "This whole world, every crop and therefore every living being, would perish without the work of the honey bee. It's amazing how one little, seemingly insignificant creature can be the key to it all, isn't it?"

"It's something," Lizzy nods, watch everyone take their turn. She's up again and plays anyways, this one a free-be without question. "You know, I've always thought of hunters as kind of like honey bees."

"Really," Castiel wonders, captured by her idea.

"Oh yeah," she nods happily. "I mean, think about it. We're relentless, we work tirelessly… and, most of the time, the fate of the world relies on us. We save it all the time and hardly anyone even notices. Hell, when people see us coming in our ripped clothing and lack of manners they tend to think of us as a nuisance just like they do a bee in the house."

"Yet without either of you they are doomed to perish." Castiel smiles.

"Exactly," Lizzy smiles back.

"Very interesting take." Castiel's thoughtful face stares at her, forgetting the game for a second despite it being his turn.

And still Lou and Sam watch on quietly, wide eyes witnessing a hell of a display by Lizzy. Her short amount of time working with Castiel one-on-one once he woke up is clearly coming in handy.

"And you know that the honey bees are dying off oddly, right?" Lizzy keeps trying, placing a card into the discard pile.

"Ah, yes. Colony Collapse Syndrome. Science cannot explain it and I have tried to study it but I've been unsuccessful in figuring it out myself. It just… it makes no sense. And it's sad."

"And like you said, this world relies on them, right?"

Castiel narrows his eyes and places his hand face down on the table. "You're going somewhere with this."

"Am I?" she asks innocently.

"I know you, Elizabeth," Castiel rolls his eyes. "You're smart. Very smart. I know this is some thinly veiled way for you to get me to help you kill Dick and you know that I…."

"Don't fight anymore, I know that," Lizzy cuts him off, dropping her cards also. "But, Cass… don't you see how the world will end if we don't help it? We're like the honey bees you love and respect so much. We can't just let the world die. We have to do something."

"And you're a hunter. I am not. I told you, I would stay behind with Samuel while you hunters go after Dick Roman."

"Cass… I don't know if you noticed but… you're a hunter too," Lizzy tells him with certainty.

"I am no hunter…."

"Excuse me, but you are," Lizzy tells him, turning to face him straight on. She grabs his hand and looks right at his eyes, daring him to look away as he tends to when uncomfortable. "What would have happened if you didn't help us with Lucifer and Michael? Or When Dean went to Hell? Huh? Raphael would have taken over the planet and restarted the Apocalypse, taking my whole family from me and killing millions if it wasn't for you."

Sighing with shame for the messy way each of those instances ended, Castiel looks away. Lizzy's having none of it and she grabs the sides of his face and pulls him back to her. He stares back at her with surprise.

"You're one of the best hunters out there," she tells him. "You're more powerful than any of us and you come out smelling like shit at the end of every hunt but you never give up… not even now."

His eyes soften as the guilt shows up all over his expression.

"We need you," Lizzy tells him, hands moving to his shoulders. "You've been there my whole life. Don't ditch out on me now."

He still doesn't answer her. He instead looks away just like she didn't want him to.

"Come on, honey bee," she pokes at him as she sits back in her seat, keeping a more comfortable distance with him. "We need your help. What did Crowley mean when he said you and I were useful in killing Dick?"

Placing his hands palms flat on the table, he experiences guilt like so many times before. And the guilt is aimed at Lizzy like so many times before. And… once more he gives in to her. She needs him. He can't say no to his Elizabeth.

"Dick was… inside me. For some time," Castiel very innocently explains.

Lou stifles a burst of laughter and she does it poorly. Castiel and Lizzy look at her and see her with a hand smashed to her mouth, Sam next to her with his eyes aimed at the table and praying his hair covers his smiling expression as he suppresses laughter. It doesn't.

"I fail to see the humor in that," Castiel takes offence. "It wasn't pleasant at all."

"Funny, I've always enjoyed some dick in me…."

"Lou!" Lizzy shouts at her, fearful that Castiel will clam up with the joke. She turns to him. "Don't listen to her dumb ass."

"Why would she enjoy that?" Castiel asks angrily, not getting the double meaning.

"Dick is also… you know, dick. Like male genitalia," Lizzy explains with an even tone. "Seems to be the lame running joke of this year."

"Ah," Castiel nods slowly when he understands. "When I mention Dick having been in me Lou used it to joke about penis and having sex with a male partner."

"Exactly," Lizzy glances at her sister. "She's like a friggin' child."

Lou proceeds to stick her tongue out just like a child.

"Ok, so, we all know Roman was stuck inside you with all the other souls from Purgatory," Lizzy attempts to get Castiel back on track. She also points threateningly at Lou in warning without breaking eye contact with Castiel, knowing the whole souls and Cass thing is still a sore point for her. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"We spent time together," he explains. "I know them. I know them all very well. And… I can see past their exterior appearance to the monster they are behind their masks."

"So, you're able to spot the real Dick Roman just by looking at him?" Lizzy surmises.

Castiel looks away from her with fear. "Yes."

She smiles. "You're our key to all this, you know that… don't you?"

"I've been mildly aware," Castiel says to the window as he looks out it. He sighs. "I just… I don't want to fight. I don't want to make it all worse."

"It's already worse, Cass," Sam jumps in, his voice calm and friendly as he tries to help. "You couldn't possibly make it worse than it already is if Dick Roman keeps his plan in motion."

"What if I fail again?" Castiel asks him.

"Then… the world is doomed. But it's one-hundred percent doomed if you sit on your ass here anyways. It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

They all hear Sammy start to cry from the upstairs bedroom, his voice making the whiny, and interrupted-sleep kind of cries they all know well.

But what Castiel hears is the reason for everything. That little boy is the hope for the future he holds for humanity. If Samuel can be alive, happy, healthy, and cared for, even as the world has already started to end, then saving his future is the least this one broken angel can do.

Without speaking, Castiel presses two fingers to Lizzy's head. She closes her eyes and doubles over a little, her head cloudy and odd for a moment.

"Ugh," she shakes her head, confused and very disoriented for just a second. She recovers quickly and looks at Castiel. "What the hell was that?"

"You surely have noticed that our connection to one another has been stronger than ever since I woke up at the institution," Castiel says to her with obviousness.

"Uh… I guess," Lizzy nod, going with it. She hadn't really noticed but she'll take his word for it.

"Well, the channel between us is wide open. I took advantage of that and I was able to pass along my knowledge of the Leviathan."

She just looks at him with wide eyes.

"You can see the difference between them just like I can now," he tells her. "You'll be able to see which Dick is the real Dick for yourself. You no longer need me."

Lizzy's face drops with a mix of fear, excitement, determination, and dark, angry bloodlust. "Really?"

Castiel looks away. "Really. I can't go. You go. You're far braver than I am."

Wide eyes land on Sam as Lizzy starts to settle in with the idea that the key to everything might be her. He stares back, shocked hazel eyes on Lizzy as they both come to terms with the change in plan. "Dean's not gonna go for this."

"Fire up your laptop," Lizzy ignores the comment.

"Lizzy… Dean's _not_ gonna go for this," Sam tells her again, thinking she didn't hear him.

She shares a dark look with him. Lizzy knows everything Bobby just told them. Don't go after Dick for revenge, for the scratch of the never ending itch, but she can't help it. She wants Dick's black blood on her hands. He killed her father figure. He killed Sammy's grandfather.

She promised she'd kill him. She's not reneging.

"Laptop," Lizzy restates. "I need to test this out."

* * *

"That's him," Lizzy points to the Dick Roman on security camera seven. "I know it's him."

Sam looks at her as he sits next to her, both sharing the laptop screen as he once more pulled up the footage from before. "How?"

"Just do," she answers, her certainty clear. She looks at him with a small, hopeful grin. "He just looks… I don't know. I can't explain it."

"So…" Sam pauses and looks over at Castiel as he looks through the paper bag of produce and unprocessed food he blinked out and retrieved for the group just a moment ago, looking to avoid conflict and conversation about the view he just bestowed upon Lizzy. "He really gave you his perspective?"

"Really," Lizzy nods, grinning. "I can see it all."

Sam nods, brain clearly flying as Lou sits down next to him, joining them both as she hands a glass of whiskey straight to each of them.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Sam checks again, peering over at the stairs unknowingly as Dean and Sammy are just a flight up away. Lizzy sent him to cool off with Sammy and he's luckily not around for this.

"Yes," she answers all too quickly.

"Ok, I know you're pissed still about Bobby… we all are," Sam reminds her.

"What about Sammy?" Lou blurts out, really worried. She's seeing the old, angry Lizzy coming out and overpowering new, motherly Lizzy and her new set of instincts.

Lizzy nods and looks down at her lap. "I know I'm crazy for wanting to go after Dick when I'm a mom."

"We just want Sammy to have a better shot at a better life than Dean and I had," Sam mentions.

Lizzy nods her head, wanting the same. "But I'm our best shot at ending the Leviathan threat."

"We agree," Lou nods.

"So I have to go, there's no way around it," Lizzy says and swallows hard. "And Dean has to stay here with Sammy."

Sam and Lou go completely silent with that idea.

"World War III right?" Lizzy laments, knowing what she's about to start with that plan.

"And four and five!" Lou whispers harshly.

"Are you prepared for this conversation with him?" Sam has to wonder, making sure the gravity of leaving Dean behind and Lizzy risking her life instead isn't lost on her.

"Only if you guys are there," she pleads with them. "Help me convince him that this is the right move."

"Is it!?" Sam asks her, sure it can't be.

She sighs. "I'm the only person that can see the real Dick. I'm the only one that can do this. It's not just us at stake here. So… we risk my life, just mine. I'll be the one going after Dick. I have to or else the world goes down in black goo all because my husband doesn't want me to try and prevent that. I think it's an obvious choice here."

Sam smirks a little, liking how pigheaded Lizzy is. Dean needs a pigheaded, strong woman in his life. She's still just so good for him. "But what about Sammy?"

She looks down at the floor, horrified internally. "He has his dad and he'll have you two. I'd say that's about as good as it can get for a hunting family."

"But Sammy's _your_ boy," Lou reminds.

"And my boy won't grow up with Leviathan using him for food if I have anything to say about it," she rebuts, knowing her duty. "I _have_ to do this. I want him to have a chance at a future. You both know I'm right here."

They're silent.

And Lizzy sits in that silence with her terrified thoughts. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't. Ever since Sammy was born the thought of dying and leaving him has been the worst thing that could happen. But as of right now, if she doesn't end the Leviathan threat, her son is a good as dead and that's the _absolute_ worst thing that could happen.

She knows she has to do this.

"Look, tomorrow is Christmas," Lizzy reminds them, every one of them having completely forgotten the holiday. "Everything will be shut down for the day, even Sucro Corp, so we can't go after Dick until the 26th. I say we shut the hell up about this new plan for the day and enjoy it. We… eat a lot of food and stay here together. As a family. I'll go get everything for dinner tonight before everything closes."

"I'll go with you," Lou nods, knowing how important Christmas is to Lizzy. "And we need to get Sammy more gifts. We had to ditch all of his presents when we ditched our house."

"Right," Lizzy smiles only slightly, the heavy burden felt deep in her gut. "It's his first one. He should have a decent one if we can give it to him."

"Ok, that's fair," Sam nods and agrees. "But… what about Dean?"

"We hold off on telling him any of this." She can tell by the way they stare at her that they hate that idea. "Please?" Her voice gets choked with dread and worry. "We just fixed… us. We're finally good again and I don't know what… I don't know what the day after tomorrow is gonna look like. Just give me one day with my family. One good, happy day. I'll tell him the next morning when we get ready to leave for Sucro Corp."

Lou and Sam look to each other, silently communicating whether or not to go along with this. They can tell easily that the other feels exactly the same. Lizzy deserves this day but Dean deserves the truth. Shit.

"I'm with you," Lou nods finally, choosing to be the first to speak. "You know I'm always on your side."

Lizzy smiles, the expression filled with impending doom despite the need for one more good, happy day, and she then looks to Sam. She can tell by how deep his forehead is wrinkled that he's not happy with her idea.

"I don't like it," Sam admits. "Lying and hiding shit from each other is part of what broke you two apart in the first place…."

"This isn't the same," Lizzy stops him. "I'm not lying to him. I'll tell him after Christmas is over." She swallows hard, reaching across the table to grab onto Sam's hand. "I love him. So much. And I love my son. After everything… don't we deserve one day? _One_. One day to be with family and smile and… feel normal?"

He already knows he's given in, Lizzy being a true weak spot for both he and his brother since they met her. She's so sincere and honest, always wanting the simplest things in life and never anything more than that.

"On the record, I still don't like it," Sam tells her sternly.

"Thank you," She smiles before taking her hand back, wiping her eyes. "I know it sucks but I really appreciate this."

"Well, you _are_ about to risk your life for the world. It's the least we can do," Lou shrugs.

"I'm terrified," Lizzy admits to her, knowing she can say anything to her sister and not be judged or pitied.

Lou nods. "I would be too. But don't worry about it." She stands up and moves to Lizzy's chair, Lizzy also getting up. Lou pulls her in tightly to a hug. "You'll have Sam and me as backup. We'll make a plan and a backup plan and a backup plan for the backup plan. We'll get this done."

"Thank you," Lizzy closes her eyes and clings to her sister. She's never been this scared but she's never been this ready to take a monster down. Dick and his minions are threatening the world her boy will live in. And Dick killed one of the only people she had left in her life that meant anything to her. For her son, for the world, and for Bobby she's going to get this job done, no matter the consequences.

* * *

 


	10. Have Yourself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: Merry (belated) Christmas! I wrote this in December. It didn't get out until now. Oh well! Enjoy!

 

* * *

It's the shifting of the old, lumpy bed that wakes him up. The movement is slow and cautious, clearly an effort is being made to try and avoid waking him up. It doesn't work.

Rolling over, Dean watches as Lizzy slips back under the covers in the oversized brown sweatshirt she must have once more stolen from Sam. She would live in that thing if she could and at this point maybe Sam should just give it to her. He hasn't worn it since his hair was above his shoulders anyways. That was years ago.

"Hey," Dean drowsily greets as he opens an arm for her, Lizzy smiling softly as she finds that nice, warm nook under his arm that she loves. She lays down next to him, pulling the thick covers over her and sliding an arm around his front, hugging him close.

"Morning," she grins, pressing her face to his t-shirt. "It's cold out there."

"It's winter," Dean reminds without harshness. He yawns wide before asking, "Why you up already? It's not even light out yet."

"Had to get the bird started," she answers, yawning right after him. "Want it done by two so it has to go into that crappy oven before the sun is up."

"Hm," he makes a sound of understanding as he rubs his hand across her arm wrapped around him, eyes once more closed with his head heavily on the pillow. He's exhausted. "The kid still sleeping?"

"Of course not," Lizzy complains, eyes heavy also. "He heard me get up, unlike you."

"Too tired to hear you."

"I know."

Dean lifts his head slightly, looks around the room, and then drops back down. "Where is he?"

"Sam has him," Lizzy tells him. "I dropped the pan for the turkey and woke him up. He came out to see me balancing Sammy in one arm and a turkey in the other and offered to take him for a few."

"That was… awesome of him," Dean mentions, surprised.

"I know," Lizzy laughs lightly. "Usually he likes to sleep in if he can… on the rare days there's nothing to research or drive to."

Dean absently nods, agreeing with her. It grows silent in the room for a moment, the ease of the morning, the warmth of each other, the comfort of knowing Sammy's taken care of and they're allowed to lounge freely all culminating in something akin to perfection.

"Hot Shot?"

Her quietly using his name like that, her voice filled with love as she does, he peeks down at her. Big brown eyes are staring up at him and he smiles back.

"Merry Christmas," she says to him.

The simple words, the same ones said everywhere all over the world to loved ones today, make his heart nearly burst. They made it. They're here. As of just a few weeks ago they were planning out their Christmas as a separated couple, divvying up gifts and figuring out how this broken family thing works on a holiday, but today they're together. She's here. Lizzy's body is molded to his side like it was made to be there and he couldn't be more thankful or downright relieved that he gets to wake up like this again.

Dean leans his head down and kisses her lips once, something sweet about it in the moment. "Merry Christmas, L."

They smile at each other, waking up more and more as the time passes. He can feel her leg bouncing a little under the covers.

"You nervous or something?" he asks her.

Her leg freezes when she then realizes what she's doing. Of course she's nervous. She's going up against the thing so scary it eats angels for breakfast and a couple demons for dinner every day. But he doesn't know that yet. This day will be a lovely day if it kills her so she tells him about the other thing that's making her anxious… but in a good way.

"Wanna go see what Santa left for Sammy?" she grins so wide he can see every one of her white teeth. He remembers that smile from when they were younger. It was one of the things about her that made him fall for her so quickly. Her big, bright, honest smile. He loves that.

"Thought you'd never ask," Dean admits his own excitement as he's already half out of bed. He also has been dying to do the day with his kid, his boy's first Christmas. He's getting a real Christmas, just like the ones he barely remembers as a kid. Presents under the tree, food, family, and the feeling of being truly loved. Christmas was everything. Sammy's going to get to feel that today.

"Knew you were excited for Christmas," Lizzy accuses while pointing at him. She gets up too, already dressed in her requisite yoga pants, warm socks, t-shirt, and Sam's sweatshirt. She pulls her hair up in a ponytail as she watches him get dressed in some black sweatpants and a t-shirt under his own, rarely ever worn gray sweatshirt.

"I'm not happy about us having to wait to kill Dick but if we have to take the day off I can find the fun in it," Dean admits.

"You just want food," Lizzy calls him out as he pulls on some socks and then looks over to her.

He smiles once and leans down to kiss her good once. "Damn right, I want food."

"You're so easy," Lizzy laughs at him and head out of their room.

"Yeah… I know," Dean says simply, knowing he is, and following her to the first floor.

When they get down there they find Sammy in his highchair, Sam sitting in front of him with a container of homemade blueberry and banana baby food in one hand and a spoon in the other.

"Merry Christmas!" Lizzy greets once more to the two men in the room, her grin wide.

"You already said that," Sam reminds, poking fun at her Christmas excitement. They saw each other just a few minutes ago. "Thought you guys were sleeping in."

"Couldn't wait," Lizzy admits, heading for the coffee maker to fire it up.

"Not surprised," Sam laughs at her, another spoonful of fruit to Sammy's mouth, the little boy opening wide for it and eating it all.

"Morning, dude," Dean greets his son as he walks for the highchair. He leans down and plants a kiss on his cheek before gently rubbing his fingers over his thin hair. "Hey," he nods at Sam.

"Hey," Sam greets back, staying relaxed and pushing his anxiety for tomorrow aside. Lizzy wants this and he can let her have it. No fighting on Christmas and no spilling coveted secrets.

"He eat that whole thing?" Dean asks, seeing the small plastic container almost empty. It was meant to be two servings.

"Are you surprised?" Sam huffs slightly, scraping together the last full bite of breakfast. Sammy eats it down happily, his mouth a mess of food globs. Sam places the empty container and spoon on the table and goes into autopilot, having cared for Sammy enough to know how it all works. He uses Sammy's bib to wipe up his face before taking it off. Sam then grabs a wipe from the container he wisely got out before he started breakfast time. Once Sammy's hands are cleaned off along with the highchair tray he pulls the tray off the chair and unbuckles his nephew. "Up and at 'em, kiddo."

Sam picks him up and pulls him in, putting Sammy on his hip as cleans up the mess they made during meal time.

And Dean just watches it all happen. He's shocked. Of the two of them he didn't ever really know how Sam would be with children. Most kid-involved hunts made Sam take a step back and take care of business while Dean was always the more hands-on hunter when it comes to person-to-person interactions, checking on the children and making sure they're generally alright within their scary situation.

But right now, with his nephew in his arm as he speaks intelligently to him without being too dumbed down or patronizing, Dean's highly impressed. And proud. Sam's a great uncle, better than Dean could have hoped he'd be.

"Food done, big man," Sam speaks absently to him. "And most of it made it into your mouth this time too!" Sam then licks the pad of his thumb and wipes at a spot of purple mush that he missed on his Sammy's cheek. "And now, you're about to find out what it's like to be spoiled by Santa!"

"Da. Da-da," Sammy says, his finger pointing at the other man in the room, and Sam smiles.

"Who? That guy?" Sam nods at Dean after dropping the used plastic contained in the sink. "You want that guy?"

"Dada. Daaah," Sammy babbles on and smiles wide when he looks up at Sam. He presses his hands together with excitement to see his dad in the room.

"Yeah… alright," Sam laments as he heads for Dean. "I'll let you go to him but you should know he isn't actually as cool as he thinks he is."

"Cooler than you are," Dean comments quietly as Sammy leans into him with outstretched arms. He grins wide to get his arms around his little boy for the first time all day. He feels a little bad taking him from Sam but only a little. "What's going on, buddy?"

Sammy just grins up at him, drool on his chin and his few teeth visible. For the millionth time his heart nearly explodes with love for this child.

Dean blows a hard raspberry on Sammy's cheek, the boy squealing with delight.

"Here, dada," Lizzy smiles and jokes as she hands over a mug of black coffee to him.

"Thanks," Dean tells her, very happy to have it. It's damn early. "You ready for this?"

Lizzy pauses, knowing he couldn't know the actual meaning behind that question, and she grins anyways. "Very."

"Wait… let me just get Lou," Sam says, heading for their bedroom where she's sleeping. "She'll wanna see this."

"Be careful," Lizzy shouts back in jest, knowing waking Lou up isn't always pleasant. She takes a seat on the couch, Dean sitting next to her with Sammy in his lap facing him. She grabs Sammy's hand and looks to her husband. "I'm really glad we get this… today, I mean. Christmas and all."

The way she smiles he can tell something is off. "What's wrong?"

She looks shocked by his assessment. "Nothing. I'm actually happy today."

He narrows his eyes at her. "You telling the truth?"

She rolls hers. "Yes, Dean. I'm seriously happy. Maybe you're just picking up on my fears for tomorrow."

He nods, thinking she's worried about his life being on the line. "Don't think about tomorrow." He leans over and kisses her forehead.

"Trying not to," she responds and sighs, moving on quickly. "The tree looks pretty good."

They both turn to the pine tree Dean and Sam cut down from the back of the cabin last night. They decorated it with empty beer cans, the fluff from an old pillow draped to look like snow, the little, multicolored Christmas lights Castiel randomly appeared with, and other random knickknacks they were able to rummage around the cabin for.

"My favorite one? The tampon tied to a tree branch," Lizzy laughs as she looks at it. Lou pulled it out of her purse as a joke but Lizzy found it funny enough to keep it.

"I like the shot glass myself," Dean comments, nodding to the upside-down shot glass at the very top of the tree instead of a star.

"You like it because you took the shot," she grins, nudging him in the shoulder.

"Maybe," Dean nods, knowing that was it. He then looks at Sammy. "We're actually pulling this off, aren't we?"

"He won't remember it… but we will," Lizzy smiles wide at that idea. "We did our job for once."

"Up top," Dean says, deadpan. He raises a hand and Lizzy high-fives him for their success for once.

Lizzy then leans her head on Dean's shoulder while watching Sammy look around the room curiously as always. "I love you guys."

Dean's mouth quirks up on one side as he looks down at her. He then lifts Sammy up without a word and presses his drooly face to hers.

"Ugh," Lizzy laughs out, her face wet with the somewhat Sammy kiss. She wipes her cheek and mouth when Dean plops their son back into his lap. "Thanks for that."

Dean lets go of an uncharacteristic laugh before leaning into her, pressing his lips to her sweetly once. "We love you too, momma."

* * *

When Sam cautiously pushes the door of their bedroom open he's grateful that Lou doesn't move yet. He knows she can be grouchy when woken for no good reason. She values her sleep too much.

Shutting the door quietly behind himself, letting it click into place nearly silently, Sam walks to the bed in his sock-clad feet without a sound. He slips his sweatshirt down his long arms and drops it on the floor. He then gets slowly back into bed, his sweatpants and t-shirt from the night still on.

Lou breathes in deeply when an arm snakes around her waist, pulling her just slightly from her sleep. She hums groggily when a long frame moves up against her backside, knowing already it is Sam. He settles in there, Lou pulls his arm around her tighter as she prepares to go back to sleep.

Sam has other ideas though.

Now, waking Lou is a scary task. He's been yelled at for it, called some very creative names, and even punched in the chest once. She sleeps like a log now that she's really readjusted back into the world. Purgatory doesn't affect her all that much these days. Instead, she's reverted to the early-twenty-something she was when she left. Sleeping is pretty high up on the priority list.

"Merry Christmas," Sam says in a hushed voice, face buried in her terribly red-tinted hair.

"Shh," Lou shushes him, patting his forearm around her middle. "Sleep."

Sam smirks at that. Usually that will work on him, a lone hushing and a warm bed with her in it. He'll go back to sleep, it's too inviting not to.

But not today. It's Christmas. She needs to get up or she'll regret missing Sammy opening gifts.

With his free arm, Sam brushes Lou's hair away from her neck. He lays down comfortably behind her and places one small kiss on the back of her neck.

Lou hums again, contented and assuming he's just getting comfortable to fall back to sleep.

He's not. Sam slips his arm out of her grip when it weakens as she quickly starts to slip back into sleep. As his lips brush her neck again, he lets his hand move down her soft, old t-shirt to its bottom hem. He slips his fingers under it, tracing the top line of her panties, the shirt and underwear her usual bedtime wear. He works slowly, lazily, keeping the slow and easy morning to just that. Slow and easy.

Lou shifts a little, her stomach fluttering when some part of her recognizes what's happening. Yet, she's not fully aware. She tired. She heard Sammy crying a lot last night. He woke her up three times. She wants sleep.

But then she feels Sam tongue trace the shell of her ear as his hand cups her through her panties.

She's more awake now, fully aware of what Sam's doing. Morning sex.

"Mm," Lou buzzes when her desire instantly perks up. The stresses and worries of the day haven't been able to enter her mind yet so there's nothing to deter her from getting turned on very quickly.

They move together as Sam scoops an arm under her body, pulling her into him as tightly as he can while still on their sides, her small form always so easily moveable for him. He loves that. He knows she loves it too. He pulls her shirt up and grabs a breast in his hand as his right hand slips under the waist of her panties.

Exhaling hard when his mouth lands on the side of her neck as his deft, skilled fingers find her clit, everything else is gone. The fear of Leviathan, Lizzy's lie to Dean, worry for the future of the world… it's gone. Sam could always do this. Sure, she's been a sex fiend for most of her life, but no one holds a candle to Sam. No one. Not even that one chick she was kind of with for a month during her college experimental phase and she was a _chick_. She knew things men didn't.

"Oh…" Lou moans softly, her ass pressing back into him when her hips start to move involuntarily.

Sam grins prideful, his fingers working at a steadily quickening pace, his left hand still cupping her breast. His thumb brushes over her nipple and she moans out lightly. He does it again, same response, and decides to keep doing exactly that.

"Sam," she whispers his name like a prayer, desperate for all he's doing to continue. She's gone from sleeping to grinding into his hand with neediness in mere minutes. "Oh. Sam…."

"Shh," he playfully takes his own turn at shushing her when her voice grows too loud.

"Oh… fuck yeah," Lou ignores him when his long finger enters her all the while his thumb never stops massaging her clit.

"Quite down or I'll stop," Sam warns her fairly, not wanting the others to know what's taking them so long.

"No, no, no, no," she whispers out, hands clamping onto each one of his forearms to prevent him from ending this. "Please, Sam. Please… don't stop."

"Shh," he hushes her one last time before his mouth once more lands on her skin, this time starting at her shoulder. He peppers small, adoring kisses in a trail leading to her neck. A second finger enters her and he keeps both thumbs busy, one on her clit and one still teasing her nipple. Lou's a squirming mess in their bed by now.

When her fingernails claw into his arms he knows she's close.

"Oh… Sam," Lou tries her hardest to keep her voice to a minimum as it all starts to wash over her. "Sam, fuck me." She reaches behind her, looking for his dick. She finds his sweatpants and very quietly whines. "Please, Sam."

She just smiles and keeps going, ignoring her pleads. The pleasure builds steadily. Every time they're together it's so easy and so good. In his arms she feels safe and free, with his fingers she always finds perfection, and in his voice she hears the trigger that sets her completely off.

"You have to come on my hand… no dick yet," Sam tells her directly into her ear with a deep, rumbling confidence.

She whines in half disappointment and half turn on, not sure where her brain is with that information. However, as long as he keeps doing exactly what he's doing, his long digits hitting her spot just perfectly, she'll have no problem with his rule.

Lou exhales hard and turns her head. She just catches the sight of his face out of the corner of her eyes. He's looking very predatory right now, something unusual for them. Almost always Lou is the one on the attack, Sam her prey that she's ready to devour. It's been rare that she's given him the chance to turn the tables.

But holy hell is it hot to see him this way.

"Fuck, I want you," Lou tells him, her hand gripping his hip behind her as she can feel him hard against her ass.

"Relax, Lou," Sam says in a low voice and she can hear the smile in his voice as he's totally amused by her desperation. "I'm gonna make you feel good. Just let me."

Lou nods as her hips keep rocking, his hand picking up speed. She sharply turns her head down into the pillow under her, her voice muffled as she lets out an actual moan with her full voice. She couldn't help it.

Sam's hand grips her breast a little harder as she clearly starts to let go, his thumb still brushing her nipple. She squirms and makes noises of true satisfaction and he kisses her neck once before letting his teeth graze her shoulder just enough.

"Oh God! Fuck!"

Or at least he's pretty sure that's what she says into the pillow as he feels her contract around his fingers, Lou coming hard first thing in the morning.

Her nails dig into his hip but he couldn't care. She's fully in it, feeling the moment and falling into the pleasure hard. That's exactly what he'd hoped for. She can't be mad at him for waking her up like that, now can she?

When she's past the intensity, Lou goes completely lax in Sam's arms, breathing deeply with closed eyes.

"Oh fuck yeah," Lou huffs out in a grateful voice, one that has Sam letting out a little laugh at her as he lets her go, pulling his arm out from under her and removing his hand from her panties.

"Alright, time to get up," Sam says simply and with a tone that gives nothing away of what they were just involved in.

Lou quickly turns to face him in bed, eyes wide. "What!?" she asks with shock. "No fucking way. We have some more work to do." She reaches for his pants immediately.

"No time," Sam denies. "It's Christmas. Time to see what Santa brought."

Lou opens her mouth to protest but her voice disappears when Sam pops the two fingers he had inside her into his mouth, quickly sucking them clean in a very nonchalant way. He then grins and gets out of bed.

"You can't just… and then, with your _fingers_ … and then leave!" Lou tells him all flustered, her engine revved and ready to keep going.

"You miss Sammy's first Christmas morning and you know you'll regret it," Sam tells her, pulling some sweatpants of hers off the one dresser in the room and tossing them onto the bed for her.

"Yeah but…" she pauses, mind blown with how quickly his attitude has shifted. "What about you?"

"What about me?" he wonders, picking his sweatshirt up off the floor and pulling it back on.

"You're hard on is making it a little obvious that we've been up to something," Lou motions towards the front of his pants.

Sam looks down and sees the tent.

"Let me take care of that for you," Lou suggests, eyebrows wagging a little.

He looks at her, seemingly thinking it over, before saying, "Nah."

" _Nah_?" Lou asks with shock.

"Nah," he repeats, adjusting himself so he's pinned to his own stomach with the waist of his sweatpants. "That's what elastic waists are for." He then holds his arms out to the side, showing he's dealt with the issue. No tent.

"You're really gonna just leave this room right now," Lou states, knowing he will.

Sam just smirks, winks at her, and opens the door. "One," he says to her before disappearing into the cabin.

"One what?" she whispers to herself, confused.

Once she can't see him anymore, just hear his voice say that Lou's on her way out, she flops onto her back with frustration. Yes, that wake up was good. Very good. But it got her ready for more. She knows she's insatiable, that most women would be fine with that wake up and nothing more. Hell, most women would be proud of their men for not expecting more for themselves. But she wouldn't have minded a little more fun.

Then again, it is Sammy's first Christmas. She knows why Sam woke her up like this. She's in a good mood. And if they spent more time in their room than they did then Dean and Lizzy would have given up waiting, which she's sure they're doing right now, and opened presents without her. That would suck.

"Alright," Lou says to herself, shoving her tired and sated body out of bed to get some clothes on. She knows when he's won.

* * *

"Ok, you guys know we can't pack up all these toys in a car, right?" Lou asks Dean and Lizzy as they are both spread out on a blanket on the cabin floor with Sammy. There's ripped up wrapping paper everywhere, toys all strewn about, and a little boy sitting in the middle of it with wide eyes and overwhelmed senses.

"Downer," Dean name-calls as he's holding a big toy car he found the night before. It's red, cartoonish, but a car nonetheless. He's popping batteries into it so it can be played with as he's sitting Indian-style in jeans and a t-shirt.

"She makes a valid point," Sam comments as he opens up a trash bag and starts to collect the wrapping paper.

"We know we have to ditch some of this stuff," Lizzy explains. "But now he gets his pick. Whatever Sammy likes the most, we take. The rest we leave behind. Plus, who knows? Maybe we'll be back here in the future."

"And it's not like we paid for all this ourselves anyways," Dean tells them with a slick smirk as he finishes his task.

"Josh Smith did," Lizzy laughs a little as she watches Dean turn on the oversized, plastic toy car. The head lights flash, the horn beeps, and when he puts it on the blanket it starts to drive around on its own in a random pattern. "Oh boy, Sammy! Check it out!"

When she points at the toy making its way somewhat slowly across the blanket the little boy takes a look. The lights. The noise. It moves on its own. He's very intrigued.

Moving quickly, Sammy crawls for the car. When he reaches it, it turns and heads in a new direction. Sammy chases it down, crawling quickly, but every time he just about gets to it the car speeds away faster than he can go.

At one point he sits back on his diapered bottom and watches it. His wide eyes land on Lizzy when he's totally enthralled by the toy.

"So exciting, right?!" she says to him with a bright smile.

Sammy smiles wide, his hands clapped together a couple times with excitement before he gives chase again.

"That thing is awesome," Lou tells them, sipping her whiskey-spiked mug of coffee as she watches. "It'll keep him happy for hours."

"And get him nice and tired, hopefully," Lizzy laughs a little, watching her son have total fun as he finally catches up to the toy car. He grabs at it, touching the headlights with curiosity.

"Knew he'd like that one." Dean grins proudly.

"Yes, he has grease in his veins already," Lizzy jests with an eye roll and Dean gives her a look.

"He better."

"I still think he has ballet in his veins, but whatever…."

"He's not a ballerina, L…."

"Have you seen him pointe his toes?" Lizzy asks in rebuttal. "He has great arches…."

As Lou listens to Lizzy and Dean slightly jab, she doesn't notice right away as Sam sits down next to her on the couch. He drops the bag of trash next to him on the floor for now and he smiles at her.

"Hey," Lou greets, still happy from her lovely wake up that morning.

"Hey," Sam repeats and holds out a small box wrapped in Christmas paper.

Her face drops. "What's this?"

He shrugs. "Just something." Lou still doesn't take the box. "Take it."

"I didn't get you anything," she worries immediately.

"I don't care," Sam half laughs at the idea.

"I do," she says. "Shit. I knew I should have gone with you guys into town…."

"Lou. Stop," Sam sweetly says to her with a small smile. "That's not what this is about. You stayed here to plan out tomorrow and that's pretty damn important, more important than a present. And I didn't head out yesterday with the plan to buy you anything at all. I just… saw it. And got it for you."

Lou's expression melts along with her heart. "Oh my God. You are way too good to be with me."

"Shut up and take it," Sam tells her, holding the small box out for her once more.

Lou reluctantly does, holding her coffee between her knees in order to open her gift. Her heart skips when she sees that it's a small, square shaped jewelry box under the wrapping paper. Shit. It's a ring box. A fucking ring box.

Lou's eyes scan the room quickly. Dean and Lizzy are still focused solely on Sammy and each other. If this were… a specific kind of ring… Lizzy would be staring at her with some sappy, stupid face as she got ready to watch a very important question be asked of her. Ok. So maybe she doesn't need to be scared.

When she turns to look at Sam he reads the worry all over her face. "Oh, come on! It's not _that_. Relax."

She exhales hard with relief and presses a hand to her forehead. "You scared the shit outta me there, Giant."

His face drops. "You know, you might be the only woman on the planet that's actually scared of diamond rings."

Her face gets red. "I'm sorry. It's not anything against you, Sam… you know that."

"I get it," Sam nods, pretending the reaction didn't hurt a little. "Just open it, would you?"

Lou sighs, hoping he isn't just saying that he understands. She wish she wasn't this broken. Instead of dwell on it, Lou lifts the top of the box and looks in.

She grins wide. "Oh my God," she lightly laughs with fondness as she sees the basic, simple silver ring. It's identical to the ring her mother gave her years ago. But this one is brand new, no dents and scratches from all her years hunting. "It looks just like the one mom gave me."

"I know," Sam says, reaching into his t-shirt collar. He pulls out the leather cord that's always around his neck, the very ring Lou's speaking of still hung there close to him at all times. "Same size and everything."

"Why are you giving me a new one?" Lou asks, not upset. On the contrary, she's quite happy with the gesture.

"Well, you gave this one to me so… I replaced it." He grins and remembers Lizzy giving it to him after Lou had died. He hung onto the ring with a fierceness, the item always reminding him of the best friend he'd ever had and that she'd always want him to keep going and doing the right thing. And then when she came back, Lou told him to hang onto it for her… knowing that even if he had it she'd never be far from that ring her mother gave her. He pulls out the collar of his t-shirt again and drops the ring back under it. He nods to the box. "Take it out. Read it."

Lou does. She pulls it out of the box and looks to the inside of the basic band. There it is, inscribed just the same as her old one. _Do What You Believe is Right._

"I didn't want you to go without it just because I had the old one," he explains. "And even if you're better at remembering to do the right thing than I am… it's still a good reminder."

"But how the hell did you find this exact ring _and_ get it inscribed in one shopping trip?" Lou finally asks, not seeing how it was possible.

This is where he clams up a bit, looking away with a guilty smile.

"What?" Lou wonders, not getting his reaction.

"Ok. So… one of the jewelry stores at the mall we went to has a special line. It's… I guess you could call it their nerd line."

"Nerd line?" Lou repeats, wondering what the hell he's talking about.

"Yeah, you know… the ring from Lord of the Rings, the Titanic heart necklace, the Green Lantern ring… and this."

"This!?" Lou asks with wide eyes. "Why is my ring a nerdy replica thing!?"

"Apparently, avid fans of the book series have been asking for it so the company started making them," he explains. "You can buy Dean's necklace too, if you want."

"No thanks," Lou says with a faraway voice as she thinks. "So… there are people out there with this exact ring… wearing it because they're fans of the book that our lives are basically chronicled in?"

"Yeah," he huffs with amusement. "Trippy, right?"

"Super trippy," she furrows her brow with surprise. "And it kinda makes my ring less special."

"How so?" Sam wonders.

"They're manufactured now. This used to be a one of a kind."

"Well, that one's still pretty special."

She looks at him funny. "How do you figure?"

"I gave it to you." He says it simply and she smiles again.

"Stop being cute. It's annoying," she says, pushing him lightly in the chest. Sam just brushes it off, knowing she loves it even if she'd _never_ admit it. "I, uh… I feel weird about this whole thing."

"Don't," Sam tells her. "I mean, I was pretty weirded out at first too. It's bad enough that our lives are paperback novels in the sale section of comic book stores all over the place but… it's not all bad."

"Oh no?" Lou wonders, wanting his outlook.

"Think about it. There are girls out there wearing a ring that's reminding them to be a good person, to think about their lives before acting and to live well, all because of you. I can think of worse things."

Lou's face lightens with that as she stares at him. He's so right. She's helped out people without even knowing she was doing it. And only Sam would think so deeply about a situation like this one and come out seeing the positive of it.

Leaning towards him, Lou places a hand to his jaw and kisses him in thanks. It's a weird gift but it's also very thoughtful. And now she gets to know that a simple pop culture reference turned wearable accessory might touch other lives like it has hers. That's a true gift.

"Thank you," she tells him, kissing him once more before backing away. She looks down at the ring in her hold and smiles as she puts it on. "Seriously, Sam. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he tells her and kisses her temple before getting up and continuing his pickup duty.

And Lou just sits there, grinning like an idiot in love as she looks at the ring. Her Sam. He's not bad.

* * *

"Don't wake him!" Dean warns with a harsh whisper as Lizzy gets a little too close to their son as she takes a picture of his snoozing face.

"Back off, man," Lizzy smirks as she takes a few more pictures before slowly backing away. "We have Christmas music on and he's barely hearing that. I'm fine." When she stands up Dean walks up next to her, arm around her shoulder as they look down.

"I mean, come on," Dean says, grinning as they watch Sammy unmoving on the blanket on the floor, his head resting on the new stuffed moose that's all but replaced the ratty stuffed doggy he's had for a while now. He's surrounded by toys and he's in little kid heaven.

"That's the cutest thing I've ever seen," Lizzy says to him, not taking her eyes off her boy.

"I think we pulled it off," Dean mentions, looking at her face. His wife is happy for the first time in a while. Just truly happy. Nothing less.

"We totally did," she says proudly and high-fives him. "We rule Christmas."

"Yeah we do," Dean agrees, pulling her in a little. They just stand there for a quick second longer before silently agreeing to let him snooze off the morning excitement.

They walk for the kitchen table where Lou and Sam are sitting, diving into breakfast.

"Ah, Lou. You outdid yourself," Dean cheerfully says as he sits down to eat.

"And thank you for covering breakfast without burning it," Lizzy adds in as she also sits. "I'll be busy with dinner the rest of the day."

"Yeah, 'cause you're insane," Lou rolls her eyes. "I woulda been happy with some sandwiches."

"You shut your mouth," Dean points at Lou quickly. "Dinner is happening."

Lou just looks at him blankly, not liking his tone directed at her.

"Take it down, Hot Shot," Lizzy covers over his index finger with her hand and lowers it. "I'm making dinner no matter what. That's how I do Christmas."

Dean sits back in his chair and nods. He wasn't willing to lose a real Christmas again. He'd never really had one in his adult life until Lizzy showed up. Every year she does what she can, either in a crappy motel room or at Bobby's that one time they were able to make it back to Sioux Falls in time. She makes a huge meal, the best food he eats all year, and it's made with love. He has so little normal things in his life. He's not letting this one go.

"Done?" Lou asks as she looks at Sam's empty plate.

"Yeah," he tells her and she stands up, taking both their plates away. They got a head start on eating as the parents couldn't pull themselves away from their son.

"So what's up for the rest of the day?" Sam asks Lizzy, knowing she probably has a plan.

"Mm," she hums, swallowing her first bite of eggs. "Dinner should be done around 2:00. Then I figure we can watch Christmas movies, drink, and generally do nothing but relax. Then maybe the town Christmas thing they do if we're up for it. The schedule's pretty open. All I ask is that we don't speak about tomorrow."

The request has a different meaning for Lou and Sam. They keep her secret.

"Other than that… whatever we do is good for me," Lizzy smiles at Dean solely, hoping he hasn't yet picked up any more off behavior from her due to nervousness.

"Sounds fan-freakin'-tastic to me," Dean says, shoveling a large bite of eggs into his mouth. He groans with delight immediately. "Mm. Best eggs ever."

"Damn straight, dude," Lou smiles at his enjoyment. Praise like that from Dean over food is always the highest of all compliments.

"How long you think he'll be out?" Sam asks, nodding at Sammy and raising his mug for a final sip of his coffee.

"Not too long," Lizzy admits. "Sleeping on the floor makes for short naps for whatever reason."

"Yeah… we got about an hour tops," Dean says with yet another full mouth, bacon this time.

"Hey, easy. Don't choke," Lizzy makes fun.

Dean just shoots her a look. "What? It's good."

"I couldn't tell," Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"I'm gonna get the diaper bag then," Sam says to Dean and Lizzy. "He'll need to be changed when he gets up."

The parents pause as Sam stands up, intent to head to their room. Lizzy clears her throat. "Excuse me… what?"

"I'll change his diaper," Sam shrugs and heads for the stairs.

"Uh… ok…." Lizzy gets confused.

"Consider it my gift since I didn't get you one," Sam smiles.

"Will do," Dean says in shock.

"Thanks, Sam!" Lizzy yells after him. Once Sam disappears upstairs she looks at Lou. "He's in a good mood."

"Yeah… he is," Lou suspiciously says, looking at the staircase. "Should I be worried?"

"Because he's happy?" Lizzy huffs a laugh.

"It's not like him. Should I get the silver and holy water?" Lou wonders, glancing at her new ring she's wearing. He's exceptionally cheery today, he gave her a gift… something isn't normal here.

"He's never liked Christmas this much, so maybe," Dean jokes, plate half cleared already.

Lou makes a concerned face. "Don't get me wrong, it's a nice change of pace but it makes me wonder what's got him decking the damn halls like Saint fucking Nick…."

"Hey!" they all hear Sam call down. "You guys know where the wipes are?"

"Should be in the baby bag!" Lizzy shouts up.

"I don't see em'!"

She puts her fork down. "I'll take a look…."

"No, no! Stay there," Sam calls down. "Eat up while it's hot. Lou, come help me find the wipes!"

Lou makes a sour, confused face. "Seriously!?"

"Seriously, come on up," Sam says to her.

The three others all look at each other with the strange moment.

Lou stands up without saying anything. She walks to the weapon packed duffle by the door and fishes out a silver knife quickly. She shows to the other two as she twirls it once with expertise, eliciting a smirk from Lizzy, before heading up with it in her grasp.

When she walks into the bedroom she finds Sam standing there, waiting for her. The baby bag is on Lizzy and Dean's bed, a box of wipes sitting next to it.

"Uh… I found em'," Lou flatly tells him, pointing at the wipes he 'couldn't find'.

"Thanks," Sam smiles at her oddly, not moving from his place.

"Here." She holds out the knife, sliver handle first.

Sam just gives her a questioning look.

Lou sighs. "The offering to change Sammy, the getting up early to take him Lizzy, the ring and the wake up you gave me… I'm not convinced you're you. Take it. Prove you're Sam Winchester."

"Are you serious?" Sam asks, arms crossing over his chest with insult.

She drops her arm to the side, lowering the knife. "You're not Mister Claus, Sam. You don't care about holiday shit. This is all kinda weird."

Shifting on his feet, Sam knows she makes a good point. He's never enjoyed Christmas. He always knew that everyone else out there was having a day he'd never had, with family and a home, a real home. But this year… it felt different.

"Give it," Sam tells her, holding his hand out. Lou drops the hand in his hand. No sizzle. "It's me."

Sam then tosses the knife into the corner of the room somewhere, doing it blindly as his eyes never leave hers, and reaches for her.

Before Lou knows what's happening, Sam grasping hard to her black yoga pants she stole from Lizzy and shoves them down her legs, taking her panties with them. She's shocked and her head spins when he then picks her up by the waist and drops her swiftly onto the cleared-off dresser top.

"What are you doing?" Lou wonders frantically as Sam yanks her clothing that is bunched around her knees fully off.

Stepping up between her legs, Sam doesn't answer her. He leans down and presses his lips to her, taking a moment to kiss her. It's deep and filled with promise. And she pulls him closer, falling into it hard.

When he ends the kiss he just smiles at her once, something playful behind her eyes, before dropping to his knees.

"Sam, what is going… oh… ooh, oh god," Lou tries to ask him what is happening but she gets cut off by his tongue.

With open hands pressed firmly into her thighs, keeping them wide open, Sam grips her skin hard as he runs his tongue slowly, deliberately up her center. He doesn't move too fast, even if they have a time limit to this before Dean and Lizzy figure out their siblings are fooling around in their bedroom. But diving into this too fast can make it just plain uncomfortable. There's an art to licking pussy, as Dean once let him know when he was much young. Too fast is very bad.

Luckily, Sam's a studious man and he'd found this to be true years ago. Now? Well, now he knows how to play Lou like a damn professional.

"Oh… shit…." Lou leans back into the cold cabin wall behind her, her hips still right at the edge of the dresser she's on. Her hands weave into Sam's longer hair, eyes closing, and she relaxes into it. No, she never got an answer as to what the hell is up with Sam today. But does she care in the moment? Hell no!

Moving along once he gets the hallmark clues he needs that she's ready (her hands slightly tugging his hair with pleasure, her voice moaning just a certain way), Sam really gets going. His lips wrapped around her clit, sucking just slightly, her hips jump a little and her voice punches out a surprised groan.

Sam reaches up and presses his index finger to her lips, reminding her to quiet down. When he does this, it reminds Lou that they're in Lizzy and Dean's bedroom, the taboo of it somehow sexy in the moment. And the turn-on of the door being open, Lou never having assumed this was about to happen so she didn't bother shutting it, only helping push her closer to the edge. Danger has thrilled her ever since Purgatory. More than she cares to admit, even.

When Lou's bottom lip partially disappears into her mouth, her teeth biting to keep her silent, Sam lets out a little hushed groan of his own. He's come to love the look of her teeth digging into her lip like that. She does it while concentrating, whether it be on research or on his ministrations, and every time it kicks him into high gear.

"Mm," Lou tries to keep quiet, her voice hidden behind clamped lips, her eyes screwed shut. He just feels so damn good. There needs to be an award for this, one in which she can nominate him. Sam would win easily.

And the sounds she makes, trying so hard to keep quiet, makes Sam want to torture her a little more. He slips one lone finger inside her and curls it towards him slowly just a couple times.

"Sweet… fucking Jesus," Lou whispers harshly, doing what she can to keep it silent.

And that's when Sam decides it's time to end this little secretive moment as he tries not to laugh at her choice of words.

He does the move, the very move Lizzy and Lou have gossiped about for years. The suck and flick. The Winchesters know it and damn do they know it well.

"Yes," Lou hushes with pure excitement. "Oh, I love that. Oh fuck…."

Once more, while still working away, Sam presses a finger to her lips, asking for her to quiet.

"Oh god, Sam," Lou keeps talking anyways, her hands tugging his hair hard now, out of necessity. It feels too fucking good. "Oh, fuck… I'm gonna…."

She can't finish her sentence. Sam's playfully pinching her lips shut with his thumb and forefinger. And he keeps his mouth busy.

Lou lets go of a squeal of excited pleasure when she comes.

It takes all Sam has not to laugh at how hard she tried to stay quiet and failed. Tongue lapping slowly as she comes down, Sam grins a little to himself. She shaking a little, her breathing quick as she lets go of that one perfect sound that makes Sam's life worth living.

Lou giggles.

She's never been the type of girl to giggle but she damn sure does ever time she's come particularly hard. It's earning a gold star in class. It's the pat on the back after a job well done. It's her version of giving him the knowledge that he's thoroughly wrecked her.

Sam stands up while looking her right in the eye. He runs a palm down his mouth to clean off his face a bit and Lou's wide eyes are glued to him.

"Found 'em!" Sam yells out the door as he smirks at Lou knowingly, picking up the baby bag off the bed and grabbing the pack of wipes.

She looks at him with bewilderment for his quick change in demeanor.

"It's Jesus' birthday… don't use his name in vain, huh?"

"Are you joking?" Lou gets upset with his lame joke.

Sam just smile his million watt, easy smile that he rarely ever has. He then says breezily, "Two."

And he leaves the room.

Lou sits stunned on the dresser, legs still wide open and not an item of clothing on below her waist. He came at her hard and fast. And that orgasm was big. It was amazing.

"Oh god," Lou says to herself when it dawns on her. Two. That was the second time he made her come that day. "He's gonna keep doing this."

Sam's giving her the gift of unexpected orgasms.

Who is this man? He certainly isn't the super uptight boy she had to pry the jeans off of when they met anymore. Maybe she finally is pulling that stick out of his ass and making him fun. Or maybe he's finally seeing he needs to enjoy life while he has it.

Whatever it is, she's loving this new version of him. He's awesome.

* * *

"How's it going in here?"

When Lizzy turns to her side she sees Lou, hip leaning into the very tiny counter with her arms crossed.

"Slowly… and difficultly," Lizzy answers, her voice still light however. "But even if we have an old fashioned ice box for a fridge and a counter that's smaller than a fucking coffee table, I'm making work." She then grins warmly before looking back down at the bowl she's working with, the boiled potatoes halfway to properly mashed.

"You need anything?" Lou wonders.

"From you? No," Lizzy laughs at Lou's expense.

Lou just gives her a stern, narrowed look. "What do you have left to do?"

"I have to… sauté the green beans and finish up the gravy… and I was gonna ask Dean or Sam to carve up the bird."

Lou doesn't say a word. She just walks around the small kitchen space and gathers what's needed, making it clear that she's taking over the green beans.

"What are you doing?" Lizzy asks her with light joking.

"Watch and learn, darling," Lou sasses right back, placing the large pan on a burner to warm it up.

"Learn what!?" Lizzy laughs at her. "How to burn food?"

"Watch and learn," Lou quietly repeats, her confidence hidden. She knows what she's doing. She had time to learn while living the boring domestic life for over a month. Her skills have vastly improved with time and patience. And a nephew to feel the need to cook for.

"At least if you ruin the only vegetables set for dinner you'll make a new best friend in Dean," Lizzy laughs to herself, Lou still keeping her voice quiet.

"Watch and learn."

Lizzy gives up and just shakes her head. Sure, if Lou screws up a dish she'll be a little pissed but life is bigger than a side dish. So she lets it go.

"So… get anything good from Santa?" Lizzy asks, her playful tone of voice being used as she looks to Lou next to her at the tiny counter out of the corner of her eyes.

Lou, knife in hand as she begins to chop up the fresh green beans, rolls her eyes.

"What?" Lizzy wonders, seeing the reaction.

"You know what I got," Lou says with a mopey voice, not wanting to talk about it.

"I do," Lizzy admits, grinning giddily. "You love it?"

"It was a very nice gesture."

"Nice gesture?" Lizzy scoffs at her. "Are you fucking kidding me with that? It was so fucking sweet."

"Alright, alright. Calm the fuck down," Lou hushes out, not wanting Sam to hear them talking.

"Why are we suddenly whispering?" Lizzy wonders. "He already knows what he got you. He's the one that _bought_ it."

"I know… I just, I didn't want him to hear us talking about him or whatever."

Lizzy sighs heavily. "You're so fucking frustrating."

"Bite me, bitch," Lou says quickly, chopping away and trying to keep busy for the conversation. "I'm not used to gifts and attention and that kind of stuff, you know that."

"Yeah, I do… and eventually you're gonna have to get used to it because he's always gonna be that way," Lizzy tells her. "Sam, under the hunter bullshit, is still a conventional kind of guy. He believes in holding doors and buying flowers."

"And I don't need any of that crap," Lou points out. "Never have, never will."

Lizzy shakes her head. "Every girl likes that stuff even if she says she doesn't."

"Not me," Lou strongly returns. "That shit is empty and pointless. Buy me a six pack and don't forget the condoms, I say."

Face screwed up in confusion, Lizzy just says, "Well, at least pretend you like that stuff when Sam does it. It makes him happy to do nice things for you so let him and shut your loud fucking mouth about it."

"Excuse you?" Lou eyes her hard for her rude ways.

"Most women would die to be in your shoes," Lizzy lets go of the masher in her hand and turns to her sister. "You know that? A hot man like Sam, one that's also attentive and sweet and caring and always thinking of you? Hell, I'm still not convinced you deserve him."

Lou's blank face stares at her sister a second before saying, "I don't."

Lizzy jokingly shoves her in the shoulder before returning to her mashed potatoes. "I was being mean. You totally deserve him."

"He's too nice for me," Lou says easily. "I know this. I'm a bitch and he's incredibly sweet. It's unfair to him."

"You're not a bitch," Lizzy says.

"I am, but thanks," Lou gripes right back.

"No you're not… and I bet whatever you got him proves that you aren't a bitch," she says to her.

Lou stays silent.

"What… you don't want to tell me what you got him?" Lizzy questions.

"I… didn't get him anything," Lou admits. "You guys when to the mall. I was here the whole time. I couldn't get him anything."

"Dude, it's not about money," Lizzy reminds her, adding a splash more milk to the mashed potatoes. "It's about knowing him well enough and proving it."

"Alright, smart ass. What'd you get Dean then?" Lou asks, looking right at Lou as she pauses her work. She never saw Lizzy hand a gift over so she thinks she didn't give one.

Lizzy grins. "You mean besides a son?" Lou rolls her eyes. "Pie."

"You got him _pie_?" she asks incredulously.

"Yep, about five of them," she explains. "We needed to go low key after buying so much for Sammy. We didn't want to shut down the credit card we've been using by buying too much too fast."

"Weren't you just gonna make a pie anyways?" Lou wonders, knowing Lizzy always did pie with Christmas dinner.

"This one doesn't count," she nods to the already made blueberry on the table ready to be baked. "I gave him five coupons, redeemable for one pie each. Whenever he wants."

Thinking for a moment, Lou conceded. "Ok, that's pretty fucking good."

"I know." Lizzy grins wide, recalling the way Dean's face lit up when she handed them over amid the chaos of presents that morning.

"What'd he get you?"

Her smile grows wider. "A Van Halen t-shirt just like the one dad got me years ago… that got ruined." She stops there, not needing to rehash getting shot by Buck and Wade and the whole heaven trip that ended the life of one of her favorite mementos.

"Seriously!?" Lou asks, shocked at the thoughtfulness.

"Yeah," she answers, unable to stop grinning. "Apparently he's had it for months. He saw it out on the road at some point and kept it stowed in his bag until Christmas." She huffs an unbelieving laugh. "Even when we were a mess and I wanted out, he kept that shirt. He was still gonna give it to me anyways."

" _Shit_."

"What?" Lizzy asks.

"I didn't get Sam anything," Lou admits, feeling like shit. "Told you he deserves better."

"Relax, ok? He's not expecting anything…."

"That's worse!" Lou panics slightly. "He doesn't expect anything of me. That says a lot about how he sees me."

"Not what I meant…."

"I'm totally gonna fuck this up, aren't I?" Lou wonders.

"Fuck what up?" Lizzy gets confused.

"All of it," Lou says, going back to her green beans and chopping even harder. "I'll fuck this up like I fuck everything up."

"This again," Lizzy rolls her eyes. "How, after all this time and all this… _everything_ … are you still convinced that Sam will leave you?"

Lou doesn't answer that. She's never seen a fully functioning, healthy relationship. Even Lizzy and Dean have had their messes. What makes her think she could get any guy to want her for good when she screws up something as easy as Christmas?

"Alright, stop freaking out," Lizzy starts to try and help when she can see the internal conflict happening.

"I'm not freaking out."

"And I'm not someone you can lie to," Lizzy reminds, bumping her with her hip. "And Christmas isn't over. You can still give Sam a gift. Just think about it hard. What would Sam really love from you? Something that doesn't cost anything and you can make happen in this cabin?"

Lou already knows the answer. It comes to her so quickly that she knows it's right. It'll be the hardest gift she'll ever give, it'll be something she never planned to ever do in her life, but she's got to trust and have complete faith in a man at some point, doesn't she? And if she can't trust Sam then she's doomed to be alone anyways.

"I got an idea…."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One More Note: So, I need to explain my slow down in publishing. I've been all over the place, about a week's time between chapter publications, and they're inconsistent. Sometimes it's Monday, then Thursday, then maybe Wednesday... it's been all over and I've never been like that in the four+ years I've been writing. But my life has changed recently. I'm pregnant. I never saw it coming after two years of trying but we got extremely lucky and this shocked us that it actually happened. I am not flaunting this, I am not looking for congrats and well wishes. After suffering infertility for so long, I would never. I just needed you all, you lovely readers you, to know why I've slowed down and why I will probably only get worse in the future. Right now I am exhausted and that doesn't seem to have an end for me. And later on my free time will severely dwindle. However, I will promise to do everything I can to keep this story going through to the end of the show and the end of my story line. I could never quit now. But it may be crappy when I don't put anything out for weeks on end in some future months. I just wanted you all to understand and I hope you all have the patience to deal with me and stick with it for me. Thanks everyone!


	11. A Merry Little Christmas

**Christmas, part 2!**

* * *

"You two sure you don't wanna come with us?" Lizzy checks one last time, zipping up the front of her coat as Dean pulls a knit hat onto Sammy's head.

"I think we're good," Sam tells them over his shoulder from the couch, his arm around Lou. They pulled the piece of furniture over from the TV to face the big stone fireplace and got a nice, warm fire going. They're just sipping whiskey and relaxing under a blanket, the moment perfect after the very filling meal.

"You sure?" Dean checks again, sounding annoyed. "I mean, wouldn't you rather go to an outdoor event on a freezing cold night where there's too many people and screaming children everywhere?"

"No thanks," Lou smiles, leaning her head onto Sam's shoulder. She's completely content where she is.

"Dean, it'll be fun," Lizzy reminds her husband. "I'll even buy you a hot chocolate while we look at the park light up with Christmas lights, huh?"

"Hot chocolate, _ooh_ ," Dean patronizes, the incentive weak.

"Kicked up hot chocolate," Lizzy reminds, knocking on the metal flask in her pocket.

"Alright… that's better," Dean grumpily admits. He's only doing this for her. She wanted to bring their son to a local light display, something Whitefish does every year, to keep their lives normal and for Sammy to get out of the cabin. He thought it sounded terrible but he just couldn't say no when she looked so excited.

"We'll see you guys in a few hours!" Lizzy cheerfully tells them, winking at Lou with encouragement before leaving.

"Few hours!?' Dean complains as the walk through the door with Sammy in his hold. "How long does it take to look at some friggin' Christmas lights…?"

The door shuts and Sam exhales hard. "Poor bastard."

"He's so whipped," Lou laughs, her head on his shoulder again. She sighs, happy to be where she is but she's suddenly worried about what she needs to do now that they're alone.

"You know, staying here was a really good choice we made," Sam tells her, taking her glass from her. He places them on the floor to the side of the couch before turning to face her. He smiles once and leans in, kissing her lips.

She knows what he's up to. When he kisses her some more, his tongue making itself known, Lou presses a gentle hand to his chest and backs him up.

With a confused face, Sam asks, "Something wrong?"

"Is this meant to be number three?" Lou has to wonder.

Sam breaks out in a wide smile. "Maybe."

She smiles back. "Can you maybe wait a minute on that?" Lou requests.

Sam, taken by surprise by this, sits back in his seat with a slightly hurt face. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes," Lou assures and grabs one of his hands, it barely fitting between her two. She grips tightly enough and looks at them as she tells him, "I just… I wanted to give you your Christmas present."

Sam just grins lightly. "You said you didn't get me anything."

"Well… I didn't," she admits, looking up at him. "But then you got me this ring. And you got me a few other _surprises_ throughout the day…."

"I thought you'd like those," Sam interjects, smirking.

"You know I did," she emphatically lets him know, always loving a good orgasm or two peppered into her day. "And after all that… I felt the need to give you something too."

"You don't owe me anything…."

"I owe you _everything_ ," she corrects him, turning to face him directly and gripping harder to his hand. "This might take a minute but, um… just kinda bear with me. Ok?"

Sam nods, eager to know what she's doing.

"I'm… difficult," she starts. "I know it. We've talked about that. I know I'm closed off and I'm cold sometimes and I… push you away even if I don't want to. I swear I'm trying to, I guess, overcome the damage my dad did to my view of relationships but it's really fucking hard to do that."

"We're not all like him. And Lou, I know you're trying," Sam nods, making sure she understand he's aware.

"Good," she smiles slightly. "Because if you ever… if you didn't want me anymore at some point, for whatever reason… I would get it but it would kill me."

"You really think that's gonna happen?" Sam asks, his heart breaking over her vulnerability that she's allowing him to see. It's a rare thing she does this and now he knows why. She's shattered deep in there and it's hard for her to present that to him.  At the same time, it's hard for him to be shown that.

She shrugs. "I hope not… but I'm realistic."

"Lou…." Sam pauses, his thoughts needing to formulate as he grips her hands tighter. "I don't ever want anyone else."

"You say that now…."

"And I'll say it the day I die," Sam tells her with nothing short of certainty. "I _love_ you. I may not come from a very open and honest family, but I've never lied to you about that. The way I feel about you… that's not going anywhere."

"How do you know that?" Lou has to question, his self-assured view of her something she's trying to understand.

"Because… I love you more now than I did just days ago," Sam tells her, his words sounding so simple despite how huge they are. "The way I feel about you, how strong it is, it grows. It doesn't lessen. It just gets stronger."

She nods, swallowing hard. She understands this completely. It's an exact description of how she herself feels.

"I figure, by the time we're old… if we make it that far… I'm not really sure how I'll be able to handle how much I'll feel for you by then," he says with a huff, meaning for it to be lighter despite the strength of his words.

It's no joke to Lou, though. She grabs for his jaw and pulls him in tight, kissing him hard. Sam lets her, kissing her right back and feeling that spark in his heart. He loves her so much.

When Lou ends it she leans back a bit to look him in the eye. "You know how hard it is for me to say this kinda stuff, right?"

"Is it all that hard for you?" he asks with a wrinkled brow and she smiles a little at the sarcastic joke.

"Just know that whatever you're feeling… it's not just you. I… I love you more than I know what to do with. It scares the shit outta me. And I know I've run from in it the past but... I've decided I'm not gonna do that anymore."

"No?" Sam asks happily.

"No. I mean, I'm not about to pour sappy love lines down your throat every day but… I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Sam wonders.

"You. This. All of it," Lou explains. "I've played the part. I've been with you but I've always felt that at times I make you feel alienated or I go cold… but that's all been my personal fears and all my crap. But I'm starting to realize how ridiculous that is. You've proved over and over that you're not going anywhere or giving up on me.  What am I being such a baby about?"

"I have no idea," Sam answers honestly. He never did totally understand her perspective. He's been patient and he's been kind because he honestly does love her, but he's never quite been able to grasp her fear of him and this. He's never been scared of his feelings for her, only what it could lead to for her own safety.

"Okay."  Lou nods and takes a deep breath.  "So… for Christmas, my gift is… and I swear if you make fun of me for how I say this I'll punch you because there's no non-sappy way to say it…." She pauses and eyes him. He draws an X over his heart with his index finger, promising. "It's my heart. It's all of me. I'm done being scared of you and of this. I'm done being scared of the idea of being with one person the rest of my life. I love you. I _know_ I do. And I love you so much it makes one night stands look completely unappetizing these days."

" _Whoa_ ," Sam jokes.

"I know, right?" Lou answers back with a laugh despite it being a joke. "But it's true. It's very true.  So, from here on out, I'm yours. Completely. I want to be yours. I want to commit to you and only you." She licks her lips with nerves, her hands grasping his harder than before. "I want to be in this family."

Sam cocks his head to the side, narrowed eyes on her as he can tell there's more to it. "What are actually trying to say?"

"I'm saying…," she inhales deeply again. "Let's get married."

"What!?" Sam asks, eyes widening as his brain nearly short circuits with her suggestion. She just looks back at him.  "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel great. Shockingly great, actually," she tells him with full disclosure. "And I know what I want. I want you. And I know you want this. We've talked about it and you've claimed you can live without getting married but I know you better than that. Every time I say I don't want to get married you're face drops. You want all that normal stuff still…."

"I can live without it though," Sam reminds her. "I don't _need_ that."

"But Christmas is about want, not need," Lou says to him what her mother always said. "And for Christmas I want to give you something you _want_."

Sam looks completely unaffected, not a sign of excitement anywhere on him.

"Well, calm down, Giant," Lou sarcastically says with his lack of reaction, taking her hands back. "Don't want you to get too excited over there."

His expression remains stoic. "I'm concerned."

"What about?"

Sam clears his throat and moves over, pulling an arm around her shoulders and sitting right up next to her. "As of just yesterday you believed that marriage was a bullshit tradition and you were never going to change your name,"

"I'm still never changing my name," Lou informs him quickly. "I've been Louise Becker my whole life. My family all had that name. I'll die with it."

"I have absolutely no problem with that," Sam answers back honestly.

"Better not."

He just smiles a little at her attitude, the one he knows well and that she usually has. "But… how do you expect me to take this sudden change of heart seriously when you've been so gung-ho about no marriage, no family…."

"I never said anything about _having_ a family," Lou points at him with her finger in warning. Sam nods, his hands out in surrender. "That shit is still _off_ the table. We're hunters. No fucking kids."

"Plus… you don't want them… right?" Sam asks, having heard her words. She's not saying she doesn't _want_ them. She's only saying it isn't safe to have them. There is a massive difference in the two.

She pauses, clearly thinking. "Nah. Too messy."

Sam smiles to himself. Maybe she is changing. Better not mention it though, baby steps.

"Point is… Lou, you haven't wanted this at all. And suddenly… I just don't get it," Sam explains, his voice never angry or annoyed to make sure she'll stay in this conversation.

"I know it seems kinda out of nowhere," Lou admits, leaning her head onto his shoulder. "But it isn't, not for me at least. I've been thinking a lot about us and our lives lately and… it's so short, you know?"

"Yeah. I know." Sam nods.

"And after everything with Lizzy and Dean, it made me really look at what we have. We kept seeing them fight and the only thing I could think about was how much time they were wasting. Every fight took time away from them living life right. I knew they'd be back together at some point so this whole thing was so stupid."

"Couldn't agree more."

"And then it made me think about my life, and you. And I started to think that I wasting my life with you."

"Harsh," Sam laughs, knowing she didn't mean it the way it came out. She always does that.

"Shit… I'm not wasting my life _with_ you…."

"Deep breath," Sam smiles at her. "I know what you meant. Just busting your balls a little."

"Thanks for that," she rolls her eyes. "Thing is… when I'm looking down the barrel of a gun or bleeding out on the floor of some warehouse someday… all I'm going to think about is how I never made an honest woman out of you."

"Oh, that's… _nice_ ," Sam responds to her joke with a little grin. Lou lightens up and smiles back at him.

"I would hate to think that I would leave this world not a Winchester… in spirit, not name. And I would completely regret not doing this since I know you want it. You still do, right?"

"Yes." Sam nods earnestly.

"So… what the fuck? Let's do it," Lou smiles wide, the expression honest and hiding nothing. "I want to get married to you."

"You're really serious about this," Sam states, still just plain shocked by all this.

"Yes I am."

"What happens when we go to do it?" Sam asks her. "What if you freak out?"

"I won't," she tells him, sure of herself.

"But you might."

"But I won't," she fights back, leaning into him and holding eye contact, almost challenging him.

"You know, I'll be ok if you do," Sam tells her so that she understands he's not pressing the issue in the least. "You change your mind then we won't do it."

"Honey," she starts, moving so that she's sitting with her legs folded under her. She reaches for his jaw again. "I'm not changing my mind."

Sam smiles small before leaning into her. He kisses her thankfully, feeling a tension leave his body and soul. He always wanted more from her and he always feared she'd never want the same from him. It's damn good to be on the same page. She wants this. Truly wants this.

"Did we just get… like, engaged or whatever?" Sam asks between kisses.

Lou pauses to think. "Huh. Yeah, I guess we did."

"So weird," Sam tells her, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

"You call me fiancé and I smack you, by the way," Lou warns seriously. "That word is so weird."

"Deal."

"And can we not tell them about this?" Lou requests. "Lizzy'll get all sappy and weird and I'm not dealing with Dean with that one…."

"No one needs to know but us," Sam shrugs, having no problem with it.  Having a secret like that with her sounds good to him.

"Thanks," Lou says, her nerves still making her jumpy but at the same time she's so damn happy. This is a good thing. This will make her and Sam even stronger and it'll prove to him she's trying to change and be better for him. She sighs. "I love you, Giant."

He grins, all dimples and boyish charm. "Love you too, Louise."

"Fuck you!" Lou gets mad instantly and shoves him in the chest, making him lean away from her.

"Okay," Sam says easily to her words and plows right into her, getting her on her back and attacking her mouth as they sit by the fire and revel in the nice, quiet, beautiful moment they just shared.

* * *

 

"Ooh, Sammy! Look! It's Santa!" Lizzy delights when they see the big set up in the park. A big throne for the big man, helpers dressed as elves, and pictures being taken of kids on Santa's lap all amid the commotion of the well-lit and overly decorated park.

Dean doesn't say anything. He knows they're going over there already and even if he protested he'd lose. That seems to be their way now that Sammy's in their lives. Mom wins a lot.

"Come on, Grinch," Lizzy pokes fun at Dean as they walk towards the line to see Santa. Dean's hunched over, Sammy's small hands in his, as he lets the little boy walk them there. "You know you're dying for a picture of Sammy with Santa."

"Just dying." His tone is flat but he goes along with it.

"Boy, so glad we brought you along," Lizzy gripes a little, keeping her tone light enough. "Just bringing that Christmas cheer to a whole new level."

"Hey, you're the one that wanted to come here," Dean reminds her.

"My mistake for inviting you to the family outing then," she quickly returns with. "Thought you'd lighten up and enjoy this."

They arrive at the end of the long line and Dean picks Sammy up, perching him on his hip. "Hey, we never did this stuff growing up."

"And it's a shame," Lizzy lets him know. "My family always did Christmas right and we went to fun events for the family… I just want Sammy to have that. And you too."

"I don't need it," Dean answers honestly, not thinking it was insulting. Just honest.

"I beg to differ," she complains right back and Dean knows he screwed up.

He looks at her, her arms folded and her eyes far off as she looks around at the families with _two_ smiling parents, and feels bad already. He's been a tough case this whole trip and he knows it. The cabin was quiet and warm, Sammy's toys were there, and everything was easy and calm. Dean's not a crowded area, stay out in the cold at night, deal with other whining kids kind of guy. He'd rather it be just his family.

But Lizzy loves this and it's all for Sammy. He's being a dick.

"Hey," Dean calls to her and she looks at him. He hands over their son and she takes him. "I'm gonna get some hot chocolate. Huh? You want some?"

With a straight face, Lizzy says, "Sure. It's cold."

"I'll be right back."

Dean marches off away from his wife, hoping to give her a second away from his grumpiness, and walks right for the little shack selling food and beverages. Luckily there's no line.

"Hey," Dean says to the young girl behind the counter window. "Can I get a couple hot chocolates?"

"Sure thing," she says and smiles wide at him in a way that makes Dean pay attention. She's eyeing him over. Shit.

She puts together the drinks, bending over to reach something he's sure wasn't actually there, and he knows she did it on purpose. She's cute, too. Great ass, long blonde hair, cute face... she's everything a teenage Dean used to love.

"Here, honey," the cute girl tells him and places the drinks in front of him. She then leans over the counter on her elbows and gives him a clear shot down her shirt. "Anything else I could get for you?" She smirks and eyes him.

"Why don't you get me a bucket of that popcorn over there? Extra butter, sweetheart," Dean adds in, winking at her.

She lights right up, eyes sparking with hope as she skips off to scoop a bucket of popcorn, not skimping on the butter like he asked. When she gets back she has a massive grin going. "Just like you asked. Extra butter."

"Thanks… Kara," Dean says, looking at her name tag. "My wife loves a little too much butter on her popcorn. I tell her it's unhealthy all the time but, hey… it's Christmas."

Her face falls terribly. "Eight is your total."

Dean hands over a ten. "Keep it."

"Thanks," she grumbles and starts to walk away.

"And, Kara?"

She turns back to him.

"I'm old enough to be your father," he winks one last time and heads back for his family, a little pep in his step.

Lizzy sees him coming and eyes him for his new attitude.

"Here you go," Dean says to her, handing her the bucket of popcorn.

"What's with the sudden mood change?" she eyes him funny.

"Can't a guy just suddenly get some Christmas spirit?" Dean lightly asks.

"No, he can't."

He grins at her and takes Sammy very carefully, not dropping their stacked drinks. After some maneuvering, Lizzy has a hot chocolate and a bucket of popcorn, Dean has a drink and a child. "Alright, so maybe I'm happy because daddy's still got it."

"What does that mean, daddy?" Lizzy asks, voice unimpressed.

"It means I totally just got hit on," Dean tells her. "By a very cute young lady."

"Oh did you now?" Lizzy plays right back.

"Yes," he returns with, still full of pride.

"And what did you tell this cute young lady?"

Dean smirks and steps in closer to his wife. "I told her to load up on the butter because my beautiful, sexy, amazing wife loves extra butter on her popcorn," he says and leans in, pressing a slow, meaning-filled kiss onto her lips. When he pulls away he sees her smiling bright.

"Good boy," she says, popping a kernel in her mouth. "I have you trained so well."

Dean doesn't respond, just gives her an annoyed look. She just laughs at him as the line moves up.

"Alright, we're up, baby!" Lizzy says to Sammy when they realize they made it to the front of the line. "You ready to meet Santa!?"

"You do know that he'll never remember this, right?" Dean reminds her one last time as they walk up to Santa sitting in his oversized, ornate chair.

"We will," Lizzy shrugs and brushes his statement completely off.

"And who is this little one?" they hear Santa asks as they approach.

"This is Sammy," Dean tells him, cringing on the inside. He's caught somewhere between embarrassed and amused. Luckily Sam's not here to see this. Handing his boy over, Dean watches Santa settle his son on his lap.

"You're much smaller than Santa's last several kids," Santa tells the baby in his lap. "And lighter. I like you, Sammy."

Lizzy laughs at that. "Long night, Santa?"

"Oh no, I'm fine, young lady. Don't you worry," Santa jokes lightly before looking down at Sammy. "Now, did Sammy get everything he wanted for Christmas?"

"Sammy got everything and more," Dean answers for his boy. "Not sure we have the space to keep it all."

"Aw, then that means Sammy must be your first," Santa once more jokes. "Every first child is spoiled on their first Christmas. Just wait until there's more."

Lizzy smiles with thin lips pressed together. Her first child. Wait until there's more. How badly she wishes that were the truth instead of Sammy being their only but his birth wasn't clean and easy and there will be no more kids for them. Luckily Dean catches her mood shift and places a hand to her shoulder to comfort her immediately as he knows this is a touchy subject for her. It still hurts her to know that she can't have any more children, even if the hunting life would never allow it.

"He's all we need, momma," Dean says quietly to her, gripping her shoulder. He kisses her cheek.

She nods slightly, watching Santa speaking with Sammy as the little boy touches his long white beard. "I know."

She smiles at her husband and he kisses her quickly, making sure she knows he's got her back.

"Would you like a picture with Santa?" one of the girls dressed as an elf asks the two of them.

"Definitely," Lizzy grins back and steps to the side.

"You can get in there with him if you want," the girl says to them, offering the full family photo.

"Yeah?" Lizzy lights up right away, looking at Dean. She knows how much he already hates the idea.

"We're fine. Just the kid," Dean tells the elf.

And Lizzy looks up at him with a massive, playful grin. He's in trouble.

"What, L?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"Come on!" she cheers, placing her drink and popcorn bucket to the side. "Don't be a Grinch!" Lizzy practically skips over to Santa's chair and sits onto the arm of it. She looks at Sammy with wide eyes. "You want dada in the picture? Dada?"

With the name, Sammy turns his head to look at Dean and reaches a hand out to him. Dada. He knows who that is.

And Dean's already rolling his eyes. Lizzy's excitement and the way Sammy's reaching for him… he knew he would never be able to resist. He knew he was screwed already.

Without a word, Dean walks to the opposite side of the big chair as Lizzy and stands to the side. He leans in and grins, saying through his teeth, "Take it quick."

"Cheese, everyone! Look over here, Sammy!" one of the other elves says and clicks, the flash going off and making Dean blink rapidly.

"Think I'm blind," he gripes, standing tall.

"I think you'll be fine," Lizzy warmly responds as she leans down to Sammy. "Can you say bye-bye Santa? Bye-bye."

Sammy lifts his hand and opens and closes it a few times.

"Bye-bye, Sammy," Santa laughs back, following it up with a ho-ho-ho. "You keep being a good boy!"

"Thanks, Santa," Lizzy smiles at him and picks Sammy up, she and Dean then gathering their hot chocolate and snack before grabbing their picture from the elves.

Lizzy takes a moment to look at the image, a proud smile spreading over her face. Everyone, seriously _everyone_ , is smiling, even Sammy… even Dean. If she didn't know any better she might even think Dean enjoyed the moment, his grin all teeth and looking very genuine. Even his body language looks relaxed, his arm resting on the back of Santa's chair as he leans down to fit into the photo.

Looking up at him with a grin, Lizzy feels her heart skip. He doesn't love doing this stuff but he'd never let her down. They're in a far better place these days and sometimes the reminder of that just feels so damn good.

As they walk away through the crowd, kids screaming with excitement and Christmas music piped through the park, Lizzy peers up at her husband and tells him, "Thank you so much."

He looks back at her and lifts an eyebrow. "Anything for you, dear," he answers back, pulling an arm around her shoulder, still gripping his hot chocolate with Sammy tucked into his other arm. "So… back to the cabin?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

* * *

 

"We need to get engaged more often," Lou tells Sam as she lays under him on the couch, limbs tangled.

"Why's that?"" Sam asks, kissing her yet again as he pulls the large, plaid blanket over them for warmth. It's been over an hour that they've been occupied and they haven't put any more wood on the fire. Nor have they put any clothes on. The cabin is getting cold.

"Because apparently getting engaged leads to really good sex." Lou cranes her neck and kisses his jaw slowly a few times, the lazy feeling they're left with after the quite meaningful talk paired with some very emotional, surprising deep sex has them in a lovely place. They lay there together, hands moving languidly over still fully exposed skin and mouths landing much more softly than before, basking in what's been one of the bright moments in their lives as of late.

"I'm still not convinced that you really agreed to do this," Sam comments, rolling onto his side and pulling her tightly in.

"I did, so get used to it," Lou harshly puts, pulling him in by the back of the head and kissing him good one more time. She then smiles at him and when Sam smiles back, the cute smile he always used to have then they first met, the one with dimples and innocence, she flushes a little. With heat on her cheeks, she complains to him, "I hate what you're doing to me."

She ducks her head under his chin and snuggles closer, Sam laughing quietly at her. "You hate that I'm making you a real girl?"

"Girls are so lame," she bitches, voiced muffled against the skin of his throat. "I feel like such a damn girl around you."

"You _are_ a girl…."

"I was a _cool_ girl until I met you, though," she returns quickly with. "Now I'm all… sappy and stuff."

"Just wait until I get you a ring," Sam threatens. "You'll go girly fast."

Her head pops up and looks right at him. "Don't get me a ring."

"What? Why not?" Sam wonders, almost hurt.

"Why bother?" she wonders. "I don't want a diamond. What if I punch something and it pops out of the setting, or I dent it while hunting… or lose it. I'll feel terrible."

"I can't _not_ get you a ring though," Sam denies.

"Why not?"

"Because… I want you to, you know… have normal things."

"It's cool," Lou shrugs. "I'm not all that normal anyways."

"Yeah, but…." Sam stops there. He realizes now how traditional he is deep down. He thought it was gone, along with all hopes of normality, but Lou makes him long for those things. Diamond rings and a white wedding dress, flowers and vows… shit. "Don't worry about it. I won't do it if you don't want me to."

She sees right through him. "You're the worst liar ever."

"What? I practically lie for a living," he denies.

"Yeah, but I can tell you're lying," Lou eyes him hard and sighs. "Alright, fine. You can get me a ring. But nothing too fancy. And too big. And don't blow a bunch of money on…."

"Relax," Sam stops her and kisses her on the lips. He holds it for just a moment to make sure she'll shut up and listen before saying, "I got it covered, ok?"

Lou just nods and kisses him again, her leg wrapping tightly around his and pulling her body closer. One roll of her hips into his and he gets it.

"Yeah?" Sam asks, knowing she wants to go again.

"Uh… always…."

"We're back!" Lizzy announces as the cabin door opens. Lou groans with annoyance and Sam yanks the blanket fully over them to cover up.

"Hello?" Dean calls out, the sound of a babbling child coming with his voice.

"Uh… hey, g-guys," Sam meekly greets and pops his head over the back of the couch facing away from the door.

Dean's face drops immediately when he sees bare shoulders. " _Really_?"

"Sorry?" Sam apologizes without meaning it.

"No you're not," Dean calls him out as he drops Sammy into his high chair. "Did you two forget that we all like to sit on that couch?"

"It just happened, Dean," Sam excuses as Lou's head peeks up over the couch and looks at him.

"Don't give him crap because you're pissed you had to visit Santa instead of fuck by the fire," she says to Dean.

"Louie!" Lizzy scolds very quickly as she reaches into the refrigerator to grab some already made blueberry baby food for Sammy.

"Sorry… _made love_ ," she corrects, her tone completely patronizing and rude.

Lizzy shoots her eyes over to the couch and can see Sam has no shirt on. "Alright, get dressed or something, will you two? It's dessert time."

"About time…." Dean comments, nearly skipping to the counter to grab the pie and a knife. He then heads for the kitchen table.

"Deep breath, Dean," Lizzy jokes, knowing how excited he is for the rare moment of homemade, fresh baked pie.

"Oh… yeah," Dean sighs with sheer love as he cuts into the crust, slicing a quite big piece and placing it expertly onto a plate without breaking it. He plops down into a chair, cuts a bite lightning quick with his fork, and shovels the forkful in. And he hums damn near pornographically. "Oh my god…."

"Ha, he sounds like you a few minutes ago," Lou jokes to Sam, standing up from the couch with the blanket wrapped around her small form. She swats Sam on the shoulder and smirks.

"Cute," Sam sarcastically responds as he pulls his boxers on before standing up. At least he has _something_ on now….

"Aw, man… come on! I'm eating!" Dean complains with a fell mouth when he sees a nearly naked Sam across the room.

Sam gives him the patented bitch face before getting fully dressed.

Lou gathers her clothes and heads to the back bedroom to get redressed.

"You know, Sam," Lizzy starts to speak as she scoops a bite for Sammy and feeds it to him while sitting in a chair next to Sammy' highchair. "You had almost two hours to screw my sister and be fully dressed before we got home."

Sam heads for the refrigerator and shrugs. "We… lost track of time."

"Unless you spent a lot of it talking before… other things," Lizzy tries. She knew Lou was going to explain her whole 'I'm yours forever now' gift but she knows nothing of the commitment Lou just made to him.

Instead of tell her he just grins. "We did." He pours two glasses of milk.

"And?" Lizzy asks, peeking over at him while feeding Sammy.

"And what?" Sam challenges, capping the milk and putting it back.

"And… how'd it go?" she wonders.

Sam glances quickly at Dean, wondering if he's listening as usually Lizzy and Sam talk when he's not around, but his brother is fully engrossed in his almost finished pie slice. "Ah… really well, actually." He smiles a little at her.

"Good," Lizzy grins brightly. "Just, you know… remember how hard that was for her."

"That wasn't the only thing hard for her…."

Lizzy's eyes bug out as Sam places the glasses of milk on the table. He grins at her.

"Crap. She's rubbing off on you," Lizzy jokes.

"Maybe. And yes, I know that wasn't at all easy for her," Sam assures, cutting two pieces of pie and plating them. "But… it was good for us. She's okay."

Lizzy can't stop smiling to hear the news that her sister was able to have an adult, emotionally heavy, honest conversation about feelings. Sam deserves someone that can be open with him and give him everything he's willing to give. Finally, Lou's getting there. It gives her some peace of mind.

Sam places a glass of milk in front of Lizzy along with a slice of pie. "For when he's done," Sam nods at Sammy.

"Thank you," Lizzy smiles, flattered that he'd think of her. She then looks to Dean. "See? That's what a gentleman looks like."

Sam just grin as he sits down.

"Can't hear you," Dean says over a full mouth. "Eating."

* * *

 

The rest of the night was lovely. They had some whiskey, played with Sammy, and sat by the fire laughing and reminiscing about past Christmases when John would bring home beer can wreathes and the multiple ways Lou and Lizzy got themselves in trouble Christmas nights when they had their annual sleepovers. It was exactly what Lizzy wanted for the day. Everyone together, happy, enjoying the moment. It was light. It was picturesque.

And now? Now, it's the middle of the night and Lizzy can't sleep for the life of her.

Tomorrow. It's coming fast. And she's going to either kill Dick Roman or die trying.

Her stomach hurts. She's frightened. She's so scared she starts to shake a little every time she thinks about it. But she'll do it because Sammy deserves a future, as do they all. It'll be fake names and no home until the Leviathans are taken down.

She has no choice.

When Lizzy looks to her right while laying on her back she sees the resting face of her husband. Dean drank maybe a little more than he meant to (it happens) but it made it easy for him to pass right out when the time came despite the plan that they need to set into motion tomorrow. She wonders how he does that. Even if she were drunk as a skunk her nerves would keep her awake but Dean can sleep through most fears and anxieties. She knows it's due to the life he's had but that just make it worse.

He doesn't even know. Dean's ready to go out there and protect her and their son, willing to give his life several times over for the two of them, and she's been lying to him. He has no idea that she's going and he needs to stay behind.

What if he loses his shit over this? What if he refuses to stay here and goes anyways, getting them both killed? What would happen to Sammy? What if he does stay behind and she doesn't make it back? Can Dean deal with that? Will he raise Sammy right on his own or would he turn into John and bring their son up in this terrible world?

She can feel the panic rising in her chest. She can't hack it. She should have been honest. She should have told him. He's going to hate her. They promised honesty from here on out. She lied by way of omission. She's a terrible wife.

Lizzy's breathing starts to quicken and she pulls the blankets off her legs, sitting up sharply. She drops her feet on the floor and stays there, perched on the edge of the bed as she can feel the panic attack threaten her.

And then she looks over to the crib in the room. Sammy's sound asleep, no idea what's about to happen within his family. He had a wonderful day, his new moose sitting cutely by his head, and she can't fight it anymore. She can't. What if this is the last night she sees him?

She can't handle this.

"L?" Dean calls out when he hears her, the struggled sounds waking him up. He opens his eyes, looking at her back that's to him. Shoulders rapidly and jerkily rising and falling and he knows what's happening. "Shit," he complains, very quickly sitting himself up and scooting in close to her. He puts a leg to either side of her body, hanging off the bed parallel to hers, and pulls an arm around her middle. Once she's flush against his chest he starts to speak to her. "No, no. Come on, L. Breathe with me."

She tries, the deep breath not all that deep before her spastic exhale proves she's not getting better.

"In and out, Lizzy. You know how to get out of this," Dean talks directly into her ear in a quiet tone, her hands clamping down on his forearm around her body. "Breathe with me. Deep. In." He inhales big. "Out," he pushes the air out and keeps her back pressed to him so she can feel it and follow. "Again, L. In."

She tries to inhale hard, it getting easier once he literally has her back.

"Out."

They both breathe out and Dean smiles. "There it is. Keep going." They breathe together for a bit. "Make that attack your bitch, L."

After a few more minutes, Lizzy's back to normal. She's caught up to her panic, the sheer anxiety ebbing and leaving behind a profound feeling of real guilt.

"Better?" Dean asks, peering at her face from the side. What he sees is not relief. It's pure pain.

Lizzy turns her head to the side. Her eyes lock onto his and even in the dim moonlight from the single window in the room he can see the tears rimming her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out and collapses into sobs.

When her back hunches and she curls in around his arm, Dean's shocked. She hasn't acted like this in so long. Not his wife, the toughest damn woman he's ever known. "Is this about tomorrow?"

She nods while crying, her absolute guilt crushing her. What was she thinking keeping this from him? How did she get through the day?

"L… it'll be fine," Dean tells her, both arms wrapping around her now as he hugs her tightly. "I'll be fine. You know that if anyone's coming back from a fight with Dick it's me…."

Shaking her head no, it's the best she can do through her sobs at the moment. She takes a deep breath, attempting to calm herself enough to talk.

"You're worried I won't come back?" Dean asks, his chin on her shoulder as he just holds her, trying to understand.

"You… can't go," she tries to get out, the phrase broken as she fights her breakdown.

"You know I have to," he gently says to her, trying to be kind and understanding despite not knowing what she actually means.

"No!" she says louder. "You can't go! I have to!"

She can feel him tense a bit with the statement. "We talked about this…."

"Stop," Lizzy says quietly, crying still when everything overwhelms her. "Please. You have to listen…."

She's interrupted by whining that is sure to become crying. Lizzy woke Sammy up.

"Relax a second," Dean says to her, shifting to get out of bed. He pauses in front of her, bending down to kiss her forehead. "I'll get him, you calm down, and we'll talk, okay?"

When she looks at him she's seeing a brand new man. _We'll talk_? Who is he?

Dean reaches into the crib and picks up a tired and now cranky Sammy. When the little boy leans his head onto his father's shoulder, Dean instantly bouncing him and humming the riff from 'Carry On', her heart melts a little. He's humming a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song, something she's imparted into his life. That was the band she and her parents always turned to, all three of them agreeing on the excellence of that band. And now, after playing it in the car enough, Dean's right there with her. And he's helping give that to their son.

And she was supposed to stop crying.

"Hey," Dean quietly calls to her as he eventually sits down next to her. With Sammy held on his shoulder closest to Lizzy, he looks at her with sheer concern. "L, you gotta calm down. Tell me what this is about."

Looking at her two men, one so small and falling asleep and the other wide awake and staring at her with serious worry, she just can't stop the feeling of love for them both. "You have to stay here tomorrow. With Sammy."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean questions right away, brow lowered. He keeps a hand rubbing Sammy's back as he falls back asleep.

"I'm talking about me having to go… and you being the one to stay with Sammy. I have to."

"Why?"

"Because… Cass told me the truth," she sucks it up and starts to spill it all. "After having the souls of Purgatory in him for so long he... I guess you could say, he got to know them."

"Meaning?" Dean asks, brow still lowered.

"Meaning he can tell which of the Dicks is the real Dick just by looking at them," she sighs. "He can see it."

"That's good news," Dean nods slightly, his concerned face still on.

"It's great news," she agrees. "But... um, since Cass woke up he and I have had a… stronger connection than usual."

"Okay…."

"I think it's because he isn't as burdened," Lizzy explains, wiping her eyes. "But whatever it is… Cass has a wide open connection to me and through it he was able to give this vision to me. He just kinda passed it on."

Dean's face drops when he gets it. "You can see which is the real Dick?"

"Yes. I tested it out with Sam. I looked at the surveillance cameras and I knew instantly which one was him."

Dean looks away and Lizzy can see his jaw clenching with fear. She knew this would be bad.

"When did he do this? Yesterday?" Dean wonders and waits for an answer. She keeps quiet and he already knows. Deep breath in, Dean keeps his composure for his sleeping son. "You didn't tell me…?"

"I wanted Christmas," she starts to cry all over again, her voice high pitched and so sad. "I just wanted one day to be real people. I missed you so much these past months and Sammy's first Christmas should have been good. And it was. Please don't be mad at me, Dean. I felt like shit all day about it but it was such a good day. You have to understand."

He closes his eyes and reels in his anger. She lied. "We said we weren't gonna lie to each other anymore."

"I know," she sobs out. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I just… if anything goes wrong, I wanted a good day to go out on, you know?"

"Don't fucking say that," Dean says low and angry, knowing he shouldn't say such words in front of Sammy as he absorbs everything so quickly these days but he couldn't help it.

Lizzy looks down at her knees, hands folded when she doesn't know what else to do as the guilt kills her. She's ashamed now, regretting having ever kept this whole thing from him.

After a long silence, giving Dean time to process everything, Lizzy repeats, "I'm so sorry."

Shocking her, Dean reaches over and grabs her hand. When she looks back up at him he has a much softer expression on that she was never ready to see.

"I get why you did it," Dean admits, fighting his need to fire out hurtful words or punch a wall. They said they'd work on their relationship and he's working hard on it right now. "I hate to say it but I probably would have done the same thing."

With wide eyes she lets him keep talking.

"It was a really good day," he nods slightly. "And… even if I'm seriously pissed that you kept this from me… thanks."

She exhales with hard surprise. "Who are you?"

Dean huffs without smiling. "I'm a guy that's trying to keep our marriage together."

She nods rapidly, ready to cry again with how happy she is to see him like this.

"But… I mean… L, tell me how I'm supposed to let you walk out that door tomorrow without me," he asks of her, his heart on his sleeve with how emotional his voice gets. "How do I just let you leave without me and head into a boss fight like that?"

Unable to answer with the massive lump in her throat for a moment, Lizzy looks over the pain in Dean face and the tired, slacked face of her once again sleeping son. "You need to be there for him. Just in case."

Dean looks away, struggling with this. He can't imagine her not coming home, what life would be like without her in it. "You can't do this."

"I don't have a choice if we want Sammy to live in a world he won't become food in," she reminds him. "We need to save the world for him."

Dean shakes his head. "Just… no. You have to come back."

Her hand gently smoothing over Sammy' head as he rests, her eyes fill up again. "I will do everything I can to come back. I love too much of what I have right here to not come back. No matter what… Dean, I'm coming back. I'll always make my way back to you both."

He knows she can't promise this but what choice do they have. If he goes, unable to know which Dick is the real monster, he could so easily never come back. She has the advantage. She has to be the one to go of the two of them and both going isn't an option, not with their son still needing at least one parent around. "Shit."

"I know," she nods, hating this situation too.

"Alright, one condition," Dean says to her. "Cass goes with you."

Her shoulders drop further. "He can't…."

"Screw his problems," Dean gets heated. "I'm not letting you walk in there without an angel in your back pocket to help out. He'll cover your ass. And he'll make sure you get back in one piece. He doesn't have a choice."

"He seems to think otherwise," Lizzy laments. "He's a mess."

"Then he's a mess that goes with you tomorrow," Dean decides right then and there. "He's going. I'll talk to him."

"You'll yell at him and he'll flee," Lizzy says cautiously, knowing it's mostly likely what will happen.

"I'll… control myself," Dean tells her. She shoots him a look. "Hey, I didn't yell at you, did I?"

She nods, agreeing. "Okay. Talk to him. I couldn't get through to him but… I hope you can. It'll be good to have him with me."

"It's the only way anyone goes tomorrow," Dean determinedly says. He sighs and closes his eyes a second, still trying to understand what tomorrow is about to look like. He then looks at her, really looks. "You're exhausted."

"I've been too worried to sleep," he admits.

"Well, stop worrying so much. I know now. So get some sleep. Come on," Dean tells her, standing up. He pulls back the comforter and nods for her to get in.

"Can… uh, you mind letting Sammy stay in bed with us. Just for tonight," she asks of him despite their always stringent rule to keep him out of their bed whenever possible. But tonight is different.

"Sure," Dean answers. He hands Sammy over slowly, Lizzy taking him and curling up around his tiny form as he stays asleep. Dean then climbs in behind her, his front pressed hard into her back and his arm around them both. He'll stay more stoic but that's all for Lizzy. If he were to show even an ounce of the emotion she is then she'll collapse and never get a single second of sleep. But on the inside… he's horrified. How did they get here?

When one of Lizzy's hands weaves into his, she says to him, "You two are my world. I love you so much."

"We love you too," he responds, kissing her hair and laying down comfortably. "Sleep, L."

Even though it takes her a good half an hour longer to fall asleep, Lizzy does get to sleep.

And then it's Dean's turn to lay there, holding onto her tightly, unable to sleep at all for the rest of the night as his mind becomes a jumbled disaster of what-ifs.

* * *

 


	12. Where Do Monsters Go When They Die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter.

 

* * *

"Cass," Dean starts quietly, leaning his ass into the bumper of one of their stolen cars outside the cabin at six in the morning. He never fell back asleep after Lizzy found the courage to spill all to him. He couldn't sleep after knowing all that. So instead he decided to sneak outside and get his talk with Castiel over with, the hope of calming at least some of his nerves motivating him. Hands shoved in his pockets, he hunches over with closed eyes. "Cass, can we talk?"

Nothing happens, no flapping wings, no 'Hello, Dean'.

"Please, Cass?" Dean tries again. "I'm not gonna yell or fight… we just need to talk some stuff out. Like… friends would." He nearly cringes at the lameness of how that sounds coming out of his mouth.

It remains quiet.

"Look, man. I know what you did. I know you gave L your vision, or whatever it is. And now she's gonna head into Roman's headquarters and try to gank him on her own." He sighs. "Come on, Cass. You have to know how dangerous that is… and what the chances are of her… not coming back. To me. Or Sammy."

Dean washes a hand over his face with frustration and fear, those words so damn difficult to say.

"I'm worried about her. I'm… hell, I'm scared outta my mind for her. I'll admit that. So please, could you just talk to me about this? It's kind of a big deal."

Finally, he hears that ever familiar whoosh of air as Castiel appears directly in front of him. He's roughly ten feet back and purposely out of reach.

"Hello… Dean," the deep voice greets, Castiel's head lowered with worry. He looks tense.

"Hey, Cass," Dean responds, standing up tall but keeping his hands in his jacket pockets. "Thanks for coming."

"You sounded like you could use an ear," Castiel explains, shoulders shrugging. "Maybe a friend."

Dean bites his tongue. He's internally working back to friends with Cass still, even if he used that word first. "I'm concerned."

"About Elizabeth, I know," Castiel nods. "But she is strong. And very capable…."

"No one's capable of doing this on their own," Dean corrects him.

"She won't be alone. Elizabeth will have Sam and Lou with her."

"Not good enough," Dean shakes his head. "Dick is no joke. He's strong and she needs back up… _real_ back up."

Castiel looks away, a suddenly fidgety way about him as his eyes dart around the wooded area surrounding the cabin. "I don't fight. Not anymore."

"You keep saying that," Dean nods, making sure to keep his tone light and whatever the opposite of super-fucking-pissed-off is. "But Cass… you love her too. You know that if you let Lizzy go do this without you backing her up and she doesn't come home…." He pauses. "What would you do then, huh? Can you live with yourself if she dies?"

Castiel jitters a little more, swallowing hard and not answering.

"Please, man. You're all I got right now," Dean gets serious. "If L goes then I have to stay here for Sammy. I can't be with her to help. And even if I could… it'd be better if you went. You have the mojo. You know these damn things in and out."

"I can't," Castiel denies. "I just… can't."

"Cass, she needs a wingman."

"Dean..."

And Dean just sighs with loss. "You don't want to jump into the jaws of death, I get it. No one does." He puts his hands on his hips for a moment. Lizzy always figured out how to get through to the difficult angel and she always did it by doing whatever the opposite is of what Dean would do. Time to use her tactics. "How about you help me out with something else. Let's run a little errand."

"What errand?" Castiel asks, finally looking back to Dean.

He smiles. "We gotta get Baby out of her corner."

Castiel's expression wrinkles in confusion.

"Take me to my car and I'll explain," Dean tells him.

Castiel steps up to Dean quickly and places a hand on his shoulder. In a blink they're at the old abandoned farm, two cars sitting there covered by tarps under a roof that was once a barn.

Itching to pull the cloth tarp off his prized possession, Dean balls his fists and denies the reaction to her close proximity after so long.

"Thanks for the lift," Dean jokes, keeping it light as Castiel needs.

"My pleasure," he responds, his guilt over his cowardice really starts to attack him. He walks around a bit, contemplating. Finally, after pacing and Dean watching him for some minutes, he speaks. "Dean... if they attack Dick and fail, then Elizabeth… Lou and Sam, they all die heroically, correct?"

"I think at this point the only way any of us is going down is heroically… but yeah. I don't know. I guess."

"And at best, if I go with Elizabeth, I die trying to fix my own stupid mistake," Castiel tries to logic it all out for himself. "Or... I _don't_ die and I'm brought back again. I see now. It's a punishment, resurrection. It's worse every time."

"I'm sorry. Uh, we're talking about God crap, right?" Dean wonders, always having a hard time following new-Castiel's train of thought.

"I'm not good luck, Dean," Castiel warns.

Dean nods at him, understanding that feeling. "Yeah, but you know what? Bottom of the ninth, and you're the only guy left on the bench... Sorry, but I'd rather have you, cursed or not. And anyway, nut up, all right? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you?"

Castiel just stares at Dean.

"What?" Dean asks, hearing the impatience in his own tone and regretting it.

"Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness," Castiel says in a light, hopeful tone.

"Yeah, well… life is one pile of shit shoveled onto the next. Gotta know who's more friend than enemy when that's the case."

And everything changes for Castiel. Dean _is_ his friend, even if the human doesn't know how to admit it. That won't change, ever. He's done nothing but give Dean the opportunity to justify hating him and give him reason to never speak to him again… but here the human is. Forgiving him. Being a friend. Asking for help, the kind only a friend can give.

He always thought Elizabeth was his driving factor for everything he did once he became so attached to her. Castiel didn't realize just how attached he became to all of these human counterparts he's been lucky enough to find.

"Well, I'll go with Elizabeth," Castiel blurts it out as quickly as he can before he changes his mind. "And I'll do my best."

Dean swallows hard at that, a form of sheer relief flooding through his entire system at hearing that his wife will have the best back up anyone could ask for. "Thanks, Cass. Really."

Castiel smiles back, hearing the emotional tug in the back of Dean's tone. He affected. He's grateful. "So... can I ask the plan?"

This is where Dean manages a real smile, looking over at the two covered cars. "Well, according to Crowley, Dick knows we're coming, so you guys are gonna announce yourselves. Big."

* * *

"Packed and stacked," Lou shouts into the cabin before immediately walking away, leaving the people inside to themselves for a moment. She's aware of how difficult this is, especially since it was just days ago that the family was mended and put back together, so they need time.

So, she walks back to the Impala to meet up with Castiel and Sam as they check out the surveillance cameras they hacked on Sam's laptop that's open on the hood.

"Still looking good?" she asks.

"Uh, we have a problem," he admits, turning the screen to her. "We found Kevin."

On the laptop is a clear shot of Kevin Tran, locked in a room at Roman Inc. and looking shifty and nervous as all hell.

"Fuck!" Lou complains. "He's at Levi central!?"

"Yup," Sam answers, sliding it back. "And you know we can't leave him there."

"No fucking way," Lou sighs. "Shit. Alright, new game plan. You and I head for Kevin. Cass and Lizard can get to Dick."

"You think that's smart?" Sam asks. "I mean, what happens if we run into the real Dick?"

"What does it matter? We're screwed no matter what Leviathan we run into," she assumes. "We just aim with our so cool squirt guns and hope to burn them enough to run away."

She holds up her plastic, pump action water pistol filled with borax-laced cleanser and winks.

Sam thinks for a second, nods once, and turns to Castiel. "You good with that Cass?"

"I promised Dean I'd stay with Elizabeth at all times," he answers. "So yes. That's a good plan. You get Kevin, we'll get to Dick."

"Alright," Lou lights up, always happy to have a plan. "You have a layout of the building you can pull up?"

"Sure." Sam starts clicking away and they formulate a full blown attack plan.

* * *

Kissing her son's head as she bounces him on her hip, Lizzy takes a shaky breath. "I love you, sweetie. More than anything."

"He knows that," Dean assures her, watching as a lone tear falls down her cheek. He uses the pad of his thumb to wipe it away for her. "And you'll be back when it's all said and done… and with a much safer world to give him."

"I told you I'm be coming back," Lizzy repeats for him, needing this to be her mantra. She's coming back. She'll be back by the end of the day. She'll come home, right after killing Dick. She'll get it done and come back to her family.

"Damn straight you are," Dean tells her. He then gets a little quiet as Lizzy hugs Sammy. He pulls something from his back pocket and gives it a hard look. "Hey, ah… you should take this."

"What is it?" she asks. He holds it out for her to see. It's the picture they took yesterday with Santa, the whole family smiling wide and looking happy. She loves that picture.

"For good luck," Dean winks and he reaches behind her. He slides the photo into her back pocket, the palm of his hand lingering there.

"You copping a feel as we say goodbye?" Lizzy eyes him.

"For good luck," he jokes lightly and gets her to laugh a little bit. He considers that a small win at the moment. He leans forward and kisses her lips quickly once. "You'll be ok. Cass will have your back."

"Thank you for talking him into coming," she thanks once again, knowing she's far more confident now than she was when Castiel was too afraid to fight with her. Having an angel, even a broken one that is no longer the warrior he once was, by her side makes her feel far more confident.

"I told you I wasn't letting you go without him."

Lizzy smiles up at him sadly. "I'm scared."

"Don't be," Dean brushes the statement off as if it were unfounded. "Who's more badass than you?"

"You," she laughs a little.

"Well, I don't have Dick-vision. That makes you far more dangerous," Dean tells her, peeling Sammy out of her arms as he knows Lizzy needs to head out. Once he has their son settled in his hold he looks back at her, watching her reach for her little boy again. She holds his small face and kisses his cheeks and forehead, Dean once more reminded of the spectacular mother she is. "You're just making this harder on yourself, momma."

"I don't care," she shakily says and kisses the top of Sammy's head before backing up a half step. She locks eyes with her husband. "Thank you for this morning."

Dean grins sadly. They had breakfast together, played with Sammy all morning, took a quick hike in the woods… and he never mentioned the task at hand later that day. For her, it was perfect. And he knows that.

"Least I could do," Dean keeps an exterior of calm and sure. "They're ready to go. You better head."

Her face wrinkles, trying not to lose it. Once they're in the car she knows she'll transform from this blubbery mess into Wonder Woman, dead set on ending Dick Roman once and for all, but ever since Sammy was born she can't be that person in front of him. She can't. He makes her so emotional.

"No, no, no," Dean laughs a little, pulling her in by his free arm. "Stop it. You can't go stabbing Dick in the throat while sobbing."

"I know," she wipes her eyes before melting into him. They hold the embrace, the three of them together as they should be. Lizzy peeks up at Dean. "You're the love of my life, you know that?"

He shows a questioning look. "I thought he was." Dean nudges his head to Sammy, the boy now playing with a lock of his mother's hair.

"You both are," her voice quivers some more.

"Cut it out," Dean smiles and hugs her one last time and if he presses a kiss to the top of her head, so what? In the moment, he's totally allowed to do sappy without losing his manliness.

When she looks up again he kisses her. It's sweet, heartfelt. It's everything she loves about him that no one else knows about. Her sweet guy.

"I love you," Dean tells her.

"I love you, too," she tells him thickly.

"Now go kick some ass, huh?" he says, winking.

She smiles slightly, kisses her son's cheek one last time, and heads for the door. When she gets there she turns back to them and smiles one last time.

Dean raises an arm and waves, Sammy seeing it and waving too as he very recently learned how.

Lizzy sighs heavily and waves back before closing the door, leaving Dean there in the quiet, lonely cabin.

He walks to the window and watches. Lizzy climbs into the Mustang, the one Lou's foaming at the mouth to drive again, as Dean begrudgingly sees Sam open the driver's side door of his Baby. He finally gets his car back and he's not the one behind the wheel. So wrong.

When everyone is in a car, Sam and Castiel in the Impala and Lou and Lizzy in the Mustang, Lizzy peers off to the house. She catches the sight of her little family in the window and smiles sadly. She waves to them.

Without looking away, Dean grabs Sammy's arm and makes him wave back once more. Lizzy's smile widens a bit as they disappear down the dirt path and out of sight.

And they're all gone, on a mission to save the world without him. Looking down at Sammy he's reminded of just why he's still here… but it doesn't make his anxieties disappear. The second he's alone with Sammy his fears about Lizzy going out there and him not being there to help start to take over his mind.

This will be the longest day of his life.

* * *

The day is quiet. A little rainy, a little cold, but seasonably warm for December. The three security guards standing in out by the front doors of Roman Enterprises in their tailored suits keep watch stoically and professionally. It's easy and silent… until the noise cuts through it all.

Loud rock riffs and a seriously powerful, classic engine roars through the air.

A car comes crashing through the closed metal gate while blasting classic rock. The security guards just watch, not moving. They were expecting something soon enough so this isn't really all that surprising. The tip off came days ago.

When the shiny black Impala cuts a sharp turn in front of the building, it makes a straight path for the big Roman Enterprises sign out front. It smashes into the glass signage, shattering it as the Impala becomes trapped within the metal framework of the massive sign.

The security guards all look to one another and smile a little, eyes turning black as they watch a man in white scrubs and a tan trench coat step out of the big vehicle.

They pull out their guns and take their shots, several bullets landing hits along the driver's torso but the man looks unaffected. He's fine, the bullets barely affecting him. He stands tall with an angry face as an angel blade descends from his coat sleeve.

The demons now know what they're dealing with.

Castiel charges at them, twirling his blade once as he internally fights the conflict he's feeling. This is the exact opposite of what he's been trying to do since he woke up at the institute.

But Elizabeth needs him. Somehow that will always trump even total fear.

With one quick maneuver, Castiel ducks a swing of a fist and instead stabs one of the demons right through the gut. As he screams out, the angel thrusts out a palm without even looking, landing it on the forehead of a second demon that had been coming for him. Swiftly, he burns out the demon angelically, eyes charred and hollow as the meatsuit crumples to the ground. Two dead.

When Castiel's eyes focus on the third demon it makes a very quick decision. He smokes out.

When the area is once again silent, Castiel all alone with three bodies around him, he disappears, flying off the find Elizabeth. Distraction complete.

* * *

The flapping of wings and Lizzy smiles. "Big entrance done?"

"Yes," Castiel tells her now that he's standing next to her inside the building. "It was fairly easy. Maybe too easy."

While still hiding in the hallway closet she slipped into and planned to meet him at once she snuck in while Castiel made a scene out front, she nods. "Crowley was telling the truth."

"Which gives me hope that the blood he gave us is truly his. We need to move," Castiel tells her, nodding at the closet door.

"Ready?" she wonders, hoping he is.

Castiel doesn't answer.

Lizzy doesn't wait. She opens the door and goes on with the plan, heading quietly down the hallway.

* * *

"This it?" Lou asks, making her way down a corridor of the massive Roman Inc. headquarters and seeing what she thinks is the office they were after just ahead.

"Think so," Sam answers as he follows, machete in hand just like Lou. They came prepared, checked the security footage one last time a few blocks away before breaking in, and they know Kevin's locked in there.

"Alright then, big man," Lou smiles, stepping aside while her eyes continually scan the area for threats. "Do your worst."

Inside the small office, Kevin flinches hard when the door bursts open with force, rebounding off the wall. Shit, what now? These Leviathan have been screwing with him all day. First it was threatening his mother, then locking him up, seeing Polly in her disastrous state… then tying him up and leaving him her for hours? What's going on?

And then in walks Sam Winchester and he fully understands.

"Kevin," Sam says with relief, rushing to him.

"Man, we've been looking for you," Lou smiles a little, happy they found him so easily. As Sam cuts his arms free Lou pulls the tape off his mouth.

"Hey, buddy," Sam says, pulling Kevin's arm so he stands up. "We got to hustle, okay?"

"Wait," Kevin stops and makes the two hunters stare at him. "We can't leave yet."

"Uh, yeah we can. And we have to. _Move_ ," Lou harshly tells him, pulling his arm and heading for the door.

Kevin stands his ground. "No…."

"We got to go," Sam reiterates.

"You don't understand," Kevin rushes out. "Dick's got creamer in his lab. He's gonna kill all the skinny people."

"Wait, what?" Lou asks, completely thrown off by what he's saying.

"Kevin, slow down. What does that mean?" Sam asks, itching to leave but knowing if Kevin's asking to stay this has to be bad.

"There's a creamer Roman developed. It has, like, a poison in it. It effects only people with low body fat percentage. They put that stuff in other food and it gets out, that's a mass killing."

"Fuck. Why can't anything be easy?" Lou bitches when she realizes they can't just stick with the plan.

"We have to blow up the lab," Kevin begs of them. "Please."

Sam and Lou lock eyes. They both silently contemplate the situation and agree on the same decision without a word spoken.

"Yeah, fine," Sam says, gesturing for Kevin to lead the way out the door. "Let's go."

The three leave the room to find the lab, the exactly place they know Lizzy and Cass are. The exact place they know Dick Roman is right now.

* * *

"Good work, gentlemen," Rick Roman jovially congratulates as he inspects one of the small, single serving creamers in the middle of his laboratories. He smiles with pride at the two other Leviathan working around him. "You know, I think this might end up the slickest little genocide in history."

"Thank you, sir," one of his workers gratefully responds while both Leviathans pack up the ready-to-ship creamers filled with skinny-people-pesticide.

"Just sayin'," Dick starts, peering at the little wonder in his hand and peeling back the top to open it. "I smell promotion."

Taking a few steps away, Dick knocks back the creamer while marveling in its good taste combined with zero effect on him. He feels great. His food supply won't be tainted. It's amazing how quickly a species can learn when motivated.

Behind him he heard a couple noises, bodies dropping to the ground. He's aware of what that sounds like. When he turns around he finds two decapitated henchmen lying on the floor, their heads no longer attached, and two newcomers standing over them. Castiel has an open bottle of Power Clean in his grip, Lizzy has a machete.

"Little abrupt... but okay," Dick comments lightly, not in the least threatened by the presence of hunter and angel. He made a deal with Crowley. He's safe, even if they think they have the proper weapon to off him.

Lizzy and Castiel remain quiet. Lizzy glares at the head Leviathan, sheathing her machete as she no longer needs it.

Dick ignores her in favor of the angel. "Castiel. Good to see you again," he grins in his usual smile shellacked in a polyurethane sheen. "Thanks for the ride into paradise."

Castiel doesn't respond. Lizzy does for him. "You aren't welcome, dick."

She then pulls the long, sharpened-to-a-point bone that's stained with the blood of the three fallen.

"Good on you! Pulling that together," Dick cheers. "A-plus."

Ever since she walked into this building Lizzy became something else. She knew it, could feel it. She's the hunter she used to be; vicious, unafraid, bold, and killer with a weapon. She's not afraid of him in the moment. She knows this weapon of hers will work. "You don't think this'll work, do you?"

"Do you?" Dick turns it quickly around.

"You trust Crowley?" she further pushes him.

Dick just smirks at her. "No. Why should you?"

"Because I know who he hates more and for once, it ain't me," Lizzy says with pure confidence.

"Are you two sure I'm even me?" Dick challenges, his own confidence unwavering.

Lizzy peeks over at Castiel, the angel's stone face peering back at her unchanging. His game face has always been strong, even when he's shaking in his boots. Lizzy winks at him to remind him that they have this. She looks back to Dick and ignores the stupid question. They're sure it's the real Dick. "See, here's the thing when dealing with Crowley, Dicky." She waves the bone weapon in front of him. "He will _always_ find a way to bone you."

Dick's face drops. "This meeting's over."

Thinking it was time enough for action, Castiel makes his move. He rushes towards Dick but before he can manage to do much of anything Dick grabs him and tosses him with ease into the laboratory wall. He crashes into the implements on the metal table under him and the distraction is exactly what Lizzy was counting on.

Lizzy doesn't hesitate. She doesn't second guess. She does exactly what she promised, exactly what she's been itching to do for so long.

With every ounce of hatred she has in her for Dick Roman and what the Leviathan have done to her and her family, she thrusts the bone straight through his gut.

The surprised face Dick shows, undoubtedly there because he now realizes that the weapon was real and Crowley cheated him, has the triumphant feeling deep in Lizzy's heart grow quickly. She did it.

Looking him right in the eyes, still holding the hilt of the weapon, Lizzy growls out, "I promised you I'd kill you, you fucking piece of shit."

When Dick Roman's face transforms into an enormous Leviathan mouth of pointed teeth and fear, Lizzy lets go and steps back. Castiel has managed to get back on his feet, standing behind Dick to keep him surrounded just in case.

When the black goo starts to drip down his nose, his face returning to the human looking face he had yet it starts to melt, Lizzy knows they've done it. But the spectacle of it all is too much to really celebrate. She's never seen anything quite like this before.

Right then the laboratory door flies open. Sam, Lou and Kevin all stand there, unprepared to see what they are seeing. They freeze in place, staying far enough back.

Waves of energy, pulsating hard, emanate from Dick's body. A loud heartbeat is heard accompanying each pulse, the speed of them picking up quickly.

Then suddenly it's quiet for just a second. Dick Roman's eyes connects with Lizzy's. He smiles, laughing as he knows what's about to happen and this won't be the last laugh for her. _He's_ getting the last laugh. He's bring her along for the ride of a lifetime.

The explosion happens in a flash, Dick's form turning to black goo that splashes out and coats the entire room. Sam tries to cover Lou and Kevin, turning his back to it all last second.

And then… silence. Calm. Stillness. Once the explosion happens everything changes.

Sam straightens up and looks around the room. Black goo covers everything, including all the people in it. Sam Lou, Kevin… and that's it.

Exhaling hard once, panic hitting him as he looks around the empty room.

"What the fuck?" Lou quietly asks while standing next to him, both slowly starting to realize what's actually happened here.

Kevin finds his voice when he knows they have to flee. "Sam, we should go. Now."

"What the hell?" Sam asks, the full anxious alarm clear in his tone.

"Where the fuck is she!?" Lou falls into true fear.

"More chompers any second, guys," Kevin reminds, aiming towards the door.

"Not to worry. I have a small army of demons outside."

All three look across the room at Crowley as he makes an unexpected appearance amid the confusion.

"Cut off the head, and the body will flounder," the head demon continues. "After all, think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise… you'd be in a kerfuffle, too."

"Which is exactly what you wanted," Sam accuses, his voice shaking. Where the hell is Lizzy? Where did Cass go?

"So did you," he counters. "Without a master plan, the Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you kids love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing."

"Where's my sister?!" Lou fires out, balled up fists shaking.

Crowley's face softens as he looks at her. "Dear, it saddens me to be the one to tell you this. I surprisingly don't appreciate the look of pain and sadness on that lovely face. That bone... has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should put a warning on the box but alas, they don't."

"What are you saying!?" Lou shouts, impatient to know the truth. She's not dead. Lizzy can't be dead. No way.

"You know where she is, my smart darling. Where would she go if she stood to close to a dying monster, hm?"

Lou's face drops when it all makes sense to her.

The King of Hell thinks for a moment, a truly torn look on his face as he does, before saying, "Can't help you, dear. I wish I could."

"Bullshit!" Sam shouts at him, knowing the demon knows something more. He has to.

In response, Crowley snaps his fingers. Two demons appear to either side of Kevin, grabbing his arms.

"Prophet's mine, now." Crowley snaps again.

The demons disappear, taking Kevin with them before either hunter can react.

"I don't think you two are appreciating the bigger picture here," Crowley continues. "You got what you wanted. Dick's dead, you saved the world."

"We had no deal for Kevin!" Lou yells with anger, too many people being taken from her all at once.

"So I want one little prophet?" he brushes off the accusation. "Sorry, Moose. Sorry, Moosette. Wish I could help. You certainly got a lot on your plate right now. I mean, with Lizzy gone…."

"She's not dead!" Lou shouts at him immediately, denial coursing through her veins.

"Never said she was," Crowley retorts. "In fact, you of all people should know where a monster goes when it dies, hm?"

Not possible, Lou knows that. "But humans can't…."

"But Dick can," Crowley rebuts, not letting her finish. "I'll leave you two to it. You most likely have a lot to chat about… like what you're going to tell Squirrel about all this. And which of you is about to take over mother duties for that little mouth-breather. I'd go with Moose. He's more sensitive." He grins and disappears.

"Crowley!" Sam shouts into the air, the terrified feeling washing over him.

"Shit," Lou now really panics.

When Sam looks at her she has a hand pressed to her forehead, her chin quivering as she gets it all. He doesn't.

"What? What the hell did Crowley mean…?"

"Purgatory," Lou says, the first set of tears streaking down her face. "Fuck. Sam. That's where she is… that's where they both are. Fuck."

Sam's eyes widen when she says it. " _Purgatory_?"

"Oh my god," Lou's voice shakes as she paces slightly, unsure of what to do. "Shit."

"Is she in Purgatory!?" Sam panics, asking again as he steps closer to Lou. She doesn't stop pacing. He grabs her shoulders and forces her to look at him. "Is she!?"

Lou just nods yes.

"Oh god…." Sam huffs a few harsh breaths as they come to terms with the sudden situation. "We can't go get her. Or Cass."

"We can't open the door to that place," Lou agrees. "We're in this situation because it was opened in the first place."

"I know," Sam nods, his mind empty with solutions. "What the fuck do we do? We can't let her rot in there…."

"Yes we can. We have to," Lou's face changes. A vague memory comes back to her, a legend of the place she called home for years that could mean a backdoor for Lizzy. "Fuck."

Lou starts to crumble and he sees it happening. Sam moves closer and grabs her shoulders, getting her attention. "What do we do?"

"We lie," Lou begrudgingly says, hating this plan. "We lie to him. We have to."

Sam just closes his eyes, not ready to start lying to his brother about anything, especially something this big.

"What we need to do is research this, figure out if there's a way to pull her out that won't end the world. Dean won't be as patient as we can be and you know it."

Sam nods, agreeing.

"If there's a way out for her… then we do it. If not…."

"We let her go," Sam counters, it breaking his heart to say such a thing. "But we turn over every fucking stone. Every single one."

"We have to find a way," Lou tells him, the helplessness finally hitting her. Her bottom lip pouts a little like it always does when things get to her. "This is so bad."

Her hands fly to her face and she starts to cry. Sam stands there for just a second, looking at her hitching shoulders and black goo spattered hands. He pulls her in tight, both of them completely at a loss.

"She can't be there," Lou cries against his jacket.

And Sam himself is spinning with it all. Lizzy was just standing there, watching Dick Roman die, something she made happen… and then she was gone. Lizzy's gone.

Dean….

"So what do we tell him?" Sam asks, tears rolling slowly down his face as Lou cries while pressed against him. "Damn it, what do we say to him?"

Lou just looks up at him, her heart crumbling with the thought of what they have to tell Dean, even if it's not true. Even if it will destroy Dean.

* * *

"Wake up."

The voice, one she hasn't heard sounding so stern in so long, cuts through the haze in her head. She comes to, eyes blinking open. The darkness surrounds her as she looks up to the sky, leafless trees peeking into her line of vision from the edges. Suddenly, Castiel's face appears above her, looking hard at her.

"Good. We need to get out of here."

"What?" Lizzy asks, still completely lost as to what happened.

Castiel reaches a hand down to her and she takes it. He hauls her to her feet as her mind flies. They killed Dick, she knows that much. He exploded, black goo everywhere… and then she woke up hearing Castiel's voice while lying on the ground.

Eyes sweeping their surroundings, Lizzy asks, "Where are we?"

Castiel's head cocks to the side as he peers around them, his eyes constantly on the lookout. He seems tense and on edge. "You don't know?

"Last I remember, we ganked Dick," Lizzy admits, her heart beginning to pound hard with confusion.

"And where would he go in death?" Castiel challenges, dropping her hand and sharply looking towards a sound made off to the right of him.

Her heart freezes over, icy in her chest. Fear unlike she's ever felt before envelopes her entre being. "Wait… does that mean we're...?"

"Every soul here is a monster." Castiel turns sharply again when something rustles the leaves of a tree right next to them. "This is where they come to prey upon each other for all eternity."

"Purgatory?" she sputters the word, afraid to actually say it. "We're… we're in _Purgatory_?"

"Stop acting so surprised," Castiel's serious tone demands of her, looking right at her. "You don't have time for fear or confusion or uncertainty. Now… everything is a fight. And you don't get to give up."

Her eyes blow so wide it actually hurts Castiel to see. And then he feels it. Leviathan. There are Leviathan still here. And they want him. They're mad at him. He put some of them back after using their souls and he can feel the utter ire they have for him. He's a target.

"Cassie? How do we get out?" Lizzy cuts through his fear-rolling mind.

He needs to be honest. "I'm afraid we're much more likely to be ripped to shreds." She needs to be prepared to fight like she's never fought before. She needs the truth.

She exhales hard, everything hitting her like a freight train as she can make out a pair of red, hovering eyes looking right at her just a few feet back from the clearing edge. She's stuck here, the place that ruined Lou for so long. She's stuck here, creatures she's sent to this very wasteland gunning for her the second they know she's there. She's stuck here… without her family and anyway to tell them where she is.

"Shit, Cass. I think we better…." She turns back to the angel but finds empty air instead. "Cass?"

Her form is frozen. She's alone.

" _Cass_!?"

Nothing. He's gone. He ditched her alone in the land of monsters.

Lizzy closes her eyes and breathes out once, shaking. She gives herself a two second reprieve to accept where she is and what happened to her after killing Dick, the terror in her heart very real, before she pulls out the large hunting knife in her jacket. She inhales deeply, hilt of the knife gripped tightly, and she bolts, running into the woods in the dark of night as fast as her legs can go, until her lungs burn fiercely by the time the light of day hits.

* * *

Late that night, Sammy asleep in his arms as he sits on the couch in the cabin, Dean hears a sound he knows all too well.

The roaring engine of his Baby.

He gets up slowly, not willing to wake Sammy after a very long day of playing, feeding, cleaning him up, and worrying while pretending to be happy for his son's sake.

Once Sammy's laying down on the couch, a couple small pillows acting as a bumper to keep him from falling off if he actually moves in his sleep, and Dean's yanking the front door of the cabin open to find Sam getting out of the Impala while the sound of Lou's Mustang can be heard coming up the dirt path.

"Sam!" Dean calls over to him, happy to see his brother in one piece. He makes his way down the few wooden steps as he ducks, looking into the car. Sam was alone. Lizzy must be with Lou.

When Dean straightens up he watches Sam make him way around the car towards him.

"Is it done?" Dean asks, unsure of how to read the slightly sullen face Sam's wearing. "Is Dick dead?"

"Yeah… he's dead," Sam tells him, his voice still sad.

Dean makes a confused face for the mood but gets distracted when Lou pulls up behind the parked Impala. He's ready to see his wife in one piece after the day of worry he's had.

But when Lou steps out of the driver's side and he can see that the passenger side is empty, Dean's world stops altogether. His brains stops working, his body can't move just for a couple seconds… where is she? Where's Lizzy?

Dean's head sharply turns to Sam, eyes wild with need for explanation.

"We need to talk," Sam tells his brother, the entire thing already eating him up inside.

"Where is she?" Dean asks, his voice small and scared.

"Dean, let's just go inside and talk," Lou asks of him.

"Where is she!?" Dean shouts, already knowing something went severely wrong and the fear wins over.

"Dean…."

"Don't do that!" Dean yells at his brother. "No bullshit! Where's L!?"

"She killed Dick," Lou blurts out. "She did exactly what she said she would."

"Then why isn't she in the car with you?" Dean dangerously asks, tone low.

"She… didn't make it out," Sam says, his eyes glancing at Lou quickly. This was what they agreed on. Dean has to think she's dead in order to keep the entire world safe and keep Purgatory closed. "She fought hard but… she just, she didn't make it."

Dean's face gets angry. "Are you telling me that the two of you made it out but L didn't?"

"Cass didn't either," Sam mentions. "They both didn't."

Dean walks away a bit, making an aimless circle. He knots his fingers together at the back of his head, His back to the two of them as he attempts to process and understand what's happening.

Lizzy didn't make it.

Lizzy's gone.

L is dead.

He shakes his head. "No." Dean turns back to them, tears threatening to spill over from his watery eyes. "No fucking way. Lizzy wouldn't do that. She said she'd come back."

"Dean, I'm sorry…."

"Shut up, Sam!" Dean points harshly at his brother. "She said she'd be back! L wouldn't leave Sammy like this!"

"She didn't want to," Lou tells him, her voice small and eyes wet. "You know she didn't. Dean… she and Cass did the impossible. They saved the fucking world. Sammy gets live a good, real life now…."

"Yeah… without his mother," Dean fires back, anger coursing through him. He stares Lou down as the first tear makes it way down his cheek. His chin quivers once and he storms off, aiming for the cabin.

Lou and Sam watch helplessly at the door gets yanked open, hitting the outside of the cabin with huge force. Dean marches inside and disappears.

"Shit," Lou cries out. "This feels so wrong."

"I know," Sam says to her, keeping his composure amid those that can't. He pulls her in and holds her tight as she cries again, the knowledge of what Lizzy's doing and where she is crushing her. "We're doing the right thing."

"I hate this," Lou tells him, jumping afterwards with the sound of glass smashing in a loud burst from inside the house.

Another loud smash follows it up and they can hear Sammy crying soon after.

"Damn it," Sam says, looking down at Lou. "You get Sammy. I'll get Dean."

Lou nods and they both head into the cabin, unsure of how this is supposed to work, what their future now looks like, and how they're going to get Dean through all this.

When really all she wants is her sister back or to cry until she dies over the knowledge she now has to keep locked up tightly.

* * *

**THE END.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Hope you all liked it. Yes, I diverted away from cannon. Yes, i know some of you might not love me for that. But how much can Dean go through when he still has the Mark of Cain and the Darkness in his future? And how lucky can Lizzy get that nothing big ever lands on her head? It was about time something crazy happened to our girl. And now we get to see what happens to her in some extreme circumstances.
> 
> If you'd like to be alerted when the first chapter of my next story is published, please subscribe to me. I don't know when it'll be as I'm not quite done with the next one, but I hope it'll be in about a week. I'll do my damnedest.
> 
> Thank you, readers! You keep me going with traffic and reviews. I appreciate you so much!


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